My 90 days is up!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Ikindaknew, Apr 9, 2016.

  1. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    I completed today my 90 days reboot! I'm married and my wife more or less made me quit PMO. After 15 years of not saying much about it, she got enough. Fair enough.

    I stopped PMO'ing, never edged.
    I had PIED, but I got better quick, and after 20 days+, I had my erections back, stronger than before!
    I was sex-starved and now my wife is a lot more willing to do it, so 2-3 times a weeks instead of twice a month.

    All in all, I'm proud of myself, but I will stick around. Life is dangerous out there on the interwebz, I have to stay vigilant!

    My main efforts were put towards:

    -Stop thinking about sex anytime, except while in bed naked with the wife.
    -Stop objectifying.
    -Of course no porn or P-sub while browsing the net.
    -Better sleep, using DELTA WAVES music overnight in the bedroom. It works for me.
    -Better food, doing a regime to loose weight a little bit.
    -Vitamins (B-complex), odorless garlic, L-arginine, Maca+Ginseng), Vit C and D, zinc and magnesium.

    Also, thinking about doing something kind to the wife, with no need for anything in return. Re-learning how to be a husband basically!
     
  2. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, Besides the happiness of having been able to reach the 90 with associated pride, my mind was decently clear after 30-40 days.
    Everybody is different, but once I accepted that thinking about sex every time I could was tiring. I felt relief and energy by stopping to PMO, objectify, etc.
    Because I didn't allow sex ideas in my head anytime, that made my mind clear and more resilient.

    Do you remember when as a kid you try to count the lambs while trying to find sleep? Then you mid goes sideways and you lose count? Or you try to wipe your mind from thoughts trying to meditate and the next thing you think about sex, washing your car, etc?

    so I played the same game with sex...I tried to push back every sex thoughts, one by one, day by day. My "garden" got cleaner and cleaner the more I groomed it.
    Once in a while, when I see a nice lady, I might have a thought like "she's very nice!" but its not "she must go on all night!" and I don't allow ideas like a split-second thinking about that woman "performing". Same thing going to the gym...I had to learn to live with a sex-less brain.

    Btu avoiding sex thought gave me my erections back full tilt.

    I don't feel tired anymore, I have a better resistance to stress. I live a better life with my wife of 18 years. I learned a lesson. I wont the battle. NOT THE WAR.
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2016
    about a girl, GSarosi and iLoveHer like this.
  3. That's awesome man! Congrats on reaching 90 days!

    Do you have any specific advice on how to stop objectifying women? I don't ONLY look at them as objects but I would like to stop looking at them as ALSO as objects. At least for the time being, so know I can. And maybe train my brain to be more healthy about it. Is there anything specific you did? Like specific techniques or tips? Or was it just simply suppressing/ignoring thought when it came into head until eventually it gets better?
     
  4. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Congrats on the 90 days!! Good stuff! Keep it up!
     
  5. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    well done, a great inspiration!
     
  6. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    Well, I guess that fostering respect of another human being was one way in my mind.
    Once the worse of the porn-induced dirty thought were off my mind, it was easier. I'm trying to think about the reasons why the lady is dresses nicely:

    -She has a good self-esteem (good for her)
    -The gym girl: She has the "drive" to work out, so she deserves kudos. she probably hates gym creeps looking at her buttocks. And even if she likes it, she has good self-esteem, good for her.
    -The office worker: There is often a little bit of escalation there; other women dress nicely, so she dresses nicely.
    -The waitress; She doesn't give two fuks about you, you wants your tips to pay her rent. Thus she wears high heels (my fetish) and a short skirt, because we're men and get side tracked by that.

    -another good one; I don't want perverts to objectify my wife, so i try to "de-pervert" myself.

    But basic suppression worked also. I'm like WTF am I thinking!!!!! WIPE WIPE WIPE, think about something else!
     
    about a girl likes this.
  7. about a girl

    about a girl Fapstronaut

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    @Ikindaknew
    You're a very smart man ! ♡
     
  8. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    I'm trying to be half-decent you know. The whole sex thing is leading the world it seems. so a little bit of back to basics feels good.
     
    Rav70 likes this.
  9. programer

    programer Fapstronaut

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    Congrats mate. Keep going forward.
     
  10. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

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    Congrats man, keep it up! You will continue to feel better as you get used to not having PMO in your life. When I was at 90 days, it was great, sometimes I felt dead sure that I got this, other times I had strong urges, and had to really get myself together to resist. But after 6 months, things started to be noticeably easier.

    Anyhow, good job, and be the best husband you can be!
     
  11. SPIRAL OUT

    SPIRAL OUT Fapstronaut

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    Congrats. I recently joined and feel like I am in a similar situation, so it is definitely motivating to read your success story. Stay on the wagon!
     
  12. oreogirl

    oreogirl Fapstronaut

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    My husband is on day 42 and just had his first urge, he felt really scared, he say he can't survive going back to that dark place. I was all smiles, he was like what are all the smiles about? I was so happy he told me the truth, truth and transparency will get me through this.
    Congrats and peace
     
  13. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    Trust and truth definitely need to be part of the ingredients to make this work. Because I f my wife would have shown lack of belief, support or not trusting me at all, I wouldn't be there. I didn't fail her and she "treats" me well lol.
     
  14. jamesrobert

    jamesrobert Fapstronaut

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    Great job, man!
    @oreogirl my wife's the same: says as long as I tell her, we can deal with it.
    Day 14 of monk mode today - going strong so far, you guys up ahead are a real solid inspiration.
     
    oreogirl likes this.

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