My attempt to quit PMO 1 year later

A year ago to this day I made my first attempt to quit PMO forever.

Letting go of porn is the hardest thing I ever tried to do, and after a year of attempting to quit, I find my longest streak to be 20.

Everyone's story is different, and people are brought to this community for different reasons. some reasons more intense than others. For me, i'm here because i am a 21 year old virgin with a porn induced erectile dysfunction. Just like many of you, I stumbled across porn at a young age, like 14 or something. I somehow stumbled across a Japanese femdom video (I don't remember how) and instantly got hocked. so yea, years go by, and i'm PMOing to fetish video's like 2-4 times daily.

When I was 18 I made my first attempt to have sex with a really pretty women. didn't even get 1% hard. Nothing. Worst feeling ever. I mean ever. I blame it on the booze and continue PMOing to stupid fetish shit that i was clearly addicted to. so on september 1 2014 I made the connection with my addiction, my ED, and what had to be done.

I actually went 9 whole month's without masturbating. My ED is really bad, so I guess that helped me make it to 9 months. I was really struggling with my porn addiction though, as i only passed two weeks twice in a year's span of trying. After all those failed attempts it starts to get to you, and makes you feel really bad about yourself. You feel hopeless. Desperate. Defeated. although I did see some benefits of going a whole 9 months without fapping. the biggest benefit is my muscle tone. I got alot more muscular since I started nofap. my voice is better in my opinion. I finally got morning wood back, even though it never really 100%, and go away in like 10 seconds of me waking up. it really is amazing on how that works.

The reason I failed was the same reason over and over. I made too many excuses, tempted myself, and gave in on impulse. I really do think porn ruined my life. well, not exactly ruined it, but took away ALOT of my potential. Porn has given me serious anxiety, left me a virgin without a working penis, and seriously fucked up my brain. I feel like I did make progress in this year long span, but I know that one more year of fighting this war with porn is going to be alot better. I truly do understand how evil porn is, and how it can now absolutely not, by any means, be in my life anymore. It already did way too much damage, and I am sooo ready to live the life that I have been fantasizing about for years.

Now, for my current situation. I'm currently on day 20. my longest streak actually. but I honestly don't feel any better. My pied and my social anxiety really made no progress. I have been super determined in the past, swore that I was done with porn, would never watch it again, than end up watching it. What's different this time? A real life women. Some women that I work with. I think she is absolutely perfect. Everything about her I like. I never liked a women as much as I like her. She is all I've been thinking about the past 20 days. And I have a legit shot with her, as she shown serious interest in me. But it absolutely kills me inside knowing that I can't sexually please her, which is all I want. So i have been razor sharp focused, and will not look at porn by any means.

This is like only my 3rd post on this website, so i'm sorry it was this long. I had alot to say. And good job to you if you made it this far. There is still alot more I want to say about my journey thus far, but I said enough already. I'm going to be posting more often. We really do have great support in this community.

 

Thank you, I appreciate the reply.