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My boyfriend no PMO 8 weeks- my reflections!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Rav70, Feb 1, 2016.

  1. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    ±++++ Could have triggers +++++++

    So it has been 8 weeks for him today and I'm really proud of him. 8 weeks ago I found out so much about his secret behaviors when look back, I am amazed we not only made it through it but we are so much stronger and happier as a couple.
    All the porn use, him contacting people (mostly guys) on Craigslist and dating sites about meeting for sex, pictures of him dressed as a woman (during the year prior to us meeting) talking to escorts sending naked pictures... How did we get through that and start to heal?

    We talked a lot! We cried! He cried more than me. He was afraid once I knew everything I would reject him but instead I accepted him. I didn't freak out I just wanted to understand what got him to that place and how we could get him out.

    He's been committed to no sexual acts unless it involves me. His previous issue of not being able to finish during sex is gone. Now he finishes pretty fast actually but I don't mind. He takes care of me first. I'm also confident once again I can satisfy him. I am enough. He wants me and desires me again.
    I believe in him and although I do worry he might slip I don't obsess about it.
    If he does, we will tackle that head on. Right now he's too busy playing with my boobs while we cuddle to hold his phone. ;)
    His gender identity issues seem silenced too. I can never know 100% what he's thinking but I hope he can still feel he can talk to me about anything.
    We have sex pretty much every day and he has said of course that has helped him not to masterbate. He knows now that was a huge road block for us. Before he didn't.
    Him talking to people hurt the most for me. I'm confident he never acted on his fantasies. I read so many emails and all ended with them never meeting.

    If you are going through this with a partner I urge you to have open communication. It has been vital to us staying together. I hope we continue on this path and there will be no relapses.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2016
  2. phoenix1489

    phoenix1489 Fapstronaut

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    It takes a heart,takes an understanding mind and a virtue of being a truly good human being which you are,I sincerely hope you both find your destination which is peaceful and a loving life. Wish you all the best.
     
  3. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

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    Wow I am so Happy to know about you guys! First off, you're awesome gf. It gives hope and inspiration to many to be honest with their Spouses/Partners/GFs.

    I don't know if its just me or...some lines are triggering, not every person here is having his shit together. This particular line was triggering "Right now he's too busy playing with my boobs while we cuddle to hold his phone." So, next time you post, you might wanna write sth like
    <== TRIGGER ALERT ==>>
     
  4. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    Not surprising, actually. I think it is fairly common for men to end up in very strange places once they fall down the rabbit hole of escalating P use. There's plenty of science around what drives men to seek more and more P -- and more and more exotic P -- in their drive for a dopamine fix. So now that he's got a handle on things, it's not surprising that his desires are returning to baseline.

    Most importantly, though, bravo to you for sticking with him and being so supportive and understanding. That's a very rare thing. I think many more men would come to honest grips with their problem if they knew it wouldn't kill the relationship.
     
    Shekhar95, Gautama, XPiRED and 4 others like this.
  5. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    He was to the point watching porn was failing to get him off. He said talking to people and making plans to meet was more exciting to him because he knew it was more real.
    Even now just us talking about something racy and taboo can get him going. Seems he's too nervous to actually try most of the stuff. :p
    Whew!!!
     
  6. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    I know how this works from personal experience. He should consider himself lucky he never got to the point of actually following through. I was not so lucky. It was a miracle something really awful never happened to me.
     
    T800Endoskeleton and fapstopper like this.
  7. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    I'm glad it didn't!

    I told him the same thing. He could of gotten raped or worse.
     
    The Eleven likes this.
  8. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    @The Eleven I'm reading your blog.
    On page 7 now. So much to read!
     
  9. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    I know. Imagine living it all!
     
  10. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    Lol... Shit I have some stories too!
    I'm at a pivotal point in your story! Yikes!!
     
    The Eleven likes this.
  11. Crispy21

    Crispy21 Fapstronaut

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    Lol reading the boobs part got some acton in my pants. Guess nofap is working then lmao hahaha
     
    Shekhar95 and TheFutureMe like this.
  12. Crispy21

    Crispy21 Fapstronaut

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    Its crazy how days of old. Reading that would not have got me hard, yet i would run to Porn and fapping just cuz the inkling of a sexual act popped into my brain.

    Its only been almost 34 days, but my mind when reading that goes to "i gotta get a girl to do that with". Instead of the usual running to fap in my room.

    Glad for you and youre bf. Hes a lucky guy. Most girls would not put up with something like this.
     
  13. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    I could trade the deviant pervert for an abusive alcoholic... Grass isn't always greener on the other side.
     
    fapstopper and BackToManhood like this.
  14. BackToManhood

    BackToManhood Fapstronaut

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    (trigger)
    A man going from wearing dresses to being happy just to play with boobs. Now that's a happy ending! :p

    You are seriously an amazing girlfriend, he's really lucky to have you! My girlfriend also has been really supportive of me in my journey, but I saw that every time I relapsed it was really hurting her. I had to stop updating her on my progress. But she's still providing moral support from the sidelines basically.

    It's a process. We're in a long distance relationship, so.. any time I do relapse, it's not because I don't want her or love her. It's just a selfish habit of mine that hasn't been so easy to overcome until now. For someone who has as much anxiety as her on a daily basis, this type of thing can be too much for her to handle. And she's never had any kind of addiction (not even a smartphone addiction), so she really doesn't understand the fact that this habit has been so engrained into my behavior. But it sounds like you've got your head in the right place. All the best to you guys :)
     
  15. docker

    docker Fapstronaut

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  16. Davy

    Davy Fapstronaut

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    Very good to hear it is evolving so positively!
    I can praise myself lucky to have a girlfriend as understanding and supporting as you are. I'm in my 4th week and not giving up on this.
     
    Gautama and Rav70 like this.
  17. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    I'd love to know what you considered to be a pivotal point....
     
    Rav70 likes this.
  18. FredSamson

    FredSamson Fapstronaut

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    You are really amazing. Your guy should be very happy, I hope he understands you are 1 out of 1000.
     
    XPiRED, Crispy21 and Rav70 like this.
  19. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the feedback and support.
    Eleven you are correct his drive is going back to less extreme. Truly amazing what Nofap can do. It's life changing.
     
    Davy and The Eleven like this.
  20. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    So week 10.
    It's so hard to trust him. It really is a mind fuck. Good days and bad days. You guys reading this remember you brought this shit on yourselves.
    Other than that we are doing good!
     
    Mj1064 and The Eleven like this.

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