Yep I get it... We are still doing amazing. Sex is meaningful and our relationship grows stronger as time passes. I don't even worry about his past issues anymore. If the day comes when he falls back to PMO I'll deal with it then. He tells me often how happy he is and I can tell he is happy too.
This is great! Me and the missus are living a similar experience! I'm vigilant, I don't want to fall again in the PMO flytrap. But we are definitely getting a lot better now. Both sex-wise and in our marriage. Wish you great continuation!
Alright, I agree with everything you said here. I think I wasn't hearing what you were saying. And you're right, I was being pushy. I apologize for that. I was interpreting you as saying the ONLY way to become PMO free was hard mode. It sounded dogmatic to me, but I tend to be a bit sensitive to things that sound one sided. You can chalk that up to growing up in a community where the church was absolutely right about everything and there was no other way to be. My interpretation may have been different than the message that you were trying to convey. It happens. Yeah, and that being whole and loving yourself business.... I wish the solution were as easy as the diagnosis. It's far to easy to get distracted and not go in deep. And for me it's easy to think I'm going deep inside when really I'm just floating on the surface. Well, I hope our exchange didn't make me look like a jerk. Hopefully, someone will get something out of this. I actually do think we were talking about basically the same things, maybe our words didn't quite reflect that. Alright.... well the best to you as well.
Can I ask something? Can you tell when your SO is using? I'm married and I haven't told my wife that I'm undergoing this challenge, though I hope she might notice that something has changed!
There are many noticeable differences from when he used compared to him off PMO. Would I know if he relapses? Yes surely if he binged most certainly. Does your wife notice a difference? Dunno how long and how clean off PMO and fantasizing are you? Too many factors for me to say .
As of today, only seven days. I noticed that I get quick intrusive sexual thoughts that I'm having to ignore, before I would just go with the flow.
Boyfriend had them a lot the first 2 to 3 weeks. About week 3 those thoughts began to fade with his flatline. He went a good period where he never had any sexual thoughts just pop up. We still had sex during his flatline and I had to be the initiator almost always. I became frustrated but we talked and I understood how he was feeling. It would be hard to make the progress we have made without open conversation. Looking back I couldn't imagine dealing with this successfully without us breaking it down and talking about and researching each process and the feelings he was having.
I was at a point just before I started to begin my recovery where my mind was so twisted that a banana was arousing for me. Don't read into it, its not a good thing. We are all here to grow.
