My brain is literally digging shitty memories from the past?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Ali91, Jul 4, 2021.

  1. Ali91

    Ali91 Fapstronaut

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    I don't know guys if this is normal.
    But I really can't stop thinking of bad memories from the past. I feel edgy and sensitive all the time.

    My brain always comes up with a bad memory from the past.
    It can be triggered by anything related to that memory. even remotley.

    Is this normal? I'm thinking to pay my shrink a visit.

    And my streak is 95 days by the way.
     
  2. I don’t know if it’s normal but it’s something we have in common. It isn’t the things that were said and done to me, it’s the things I’ve said and done.
     
  3. I've been where you are. I've noticed the more you try to avoid a thought... the more the mind likes to focus on that negative thought. It's self punishment at it's finest.
     
  4. Koli Pratham

    Koli Pratham Fapstronaut

    Flashbacks are common during reboot. Stay calm and Keep Going. This feelings and emotions are temporary.
     
  5. Ali91

    Ali91 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing. I thought I was alone and losing my mind. It's strange how such a habit can be responsible for all of this.
     
    Abel100% likes this.
  6. Ali91

    Ali91 Fapstronaut

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    I just wanted to tell you guys. Now at a 100 days mark, I feel better.
    And the mental symptoms are slowly subsiding every day.
    Plus my erections are getting more frequent now. God bless you all.
     
  7. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    I relate to this. As I got further into sobriety I started to have to face up to regrets (= bad memories) as I gradually learnt to own my mistakes rather than hide from them. For me that was part of the process of overcoming this addiction. I know it is painful but stick with it @Ali91. One technique that helped me for a while was to keep a list of the regrets that troubled me, the times I wish I had behaved very differently. After a while I stopped adding to the list and those regrets stopped plaguing me so much.
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  8. Fahim_1002

    Fahim_1002 Fapstronaut

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    Try not to be alone. Loneliness can be cause of this.
     
    Christoph108 likes this.
  9. Mr. Kruger

    Mr. Kruger Fapstronaut

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    I had flashbacks too. A lot of traumatic memories from my childhood were surfacing even though nothing triggered them. I think that when you have had an addiction for a long time and suddenly abstain from it, the traumatic memories that you were suppressing with the addiction will begin to leak because you have suddenly removed the cork that was holding them in.
     
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  10. Ali91

    Ali91 Fapstronaut

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    I've had a wet dream a week ago.
    Now I feel like I'm back in square one. My mental symptoms are back after they almost went away.
    I hope this thing is gone soon.
     
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  11. RavenGT

    RavenGT Fapstronaut

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    Relax bro thats fine

    You're just beating yourself up

    116 days is a great accomplishment, heres to many more
     
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  12. I think those flashbacks are caused by the neurons in our brains as they are going through changes back to normal.
     
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  13. Redemptionisrequired

    Redemptionisrequired Fapstronaut

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    It’s normal man, don’t fight it or engage in it. Just acknowledge when it shows up and return to what you were doing. If one of the memories surfaces often, write it down and make peace with it.
    I’m 185 days MO free and 257 porn free and this still occurs with me. PMO put things on the back burner and we never truly made peace with it.
     
  14. Ali91

    Ali91 Fapstronaut

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    I guess so. PMO was like a drug that hid all those feelings.
    I think its better to face them and make peace with them.
     
  15. cresyhorse

    cresyhorse Fapstronaut

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    keep busy and put in concious effort to avoid those thoughts.

    your brain isn't you, it'll just keep pooping out smelly thoughts. what are you gonna do when it poops next time? stop and look at the poop and ponder on its meaning? no, you'll just conciously think of something else. of a beautiful subject that interests you.

    you don't choose ahat thoughts come into your mind. you choose which thoughts you accept. after a while of ignoring the shitty ones and vetoing them, uou'll stop getting them.

    tldr: don't ponder on those thoughts, change the subject.
     
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  16. Robindale

    Robindale Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you. I was worse off when I tried to avoid those feelings, because in reality, you can't. We do lots of things to avoid feelings and bury it deep down, to only have it bubble to the surface in some other, usually unhealthy way. For me, some pain is what leads to growth. Don't dwell for long on those feelings but acknowledge them, after all you are human, and then let them pass through as you move on to some healthy behavior. Write them down and then burn or shred the paper if you like. We are built for connection and relationship and I find accessing others (family, friends, community/service groups) is what helps build the positive neurons in my brain and push out the old PMO-induced ones. Lots of other positive behaviors you can turn to: exercise, meditation, prayer, journaling, reading recovery materials or other "just-for-fun" material. But for me, the biggest thing is connection with other human beings (positive connection, not someone for casual sex or someone via a screen). As they say, PMO addiction thrives in isolation and dishonesty, and recovery thrives in connection and honesty to yourself and others. Best wishes.
     
  17. Firaga_Ifrit

    Firaga_Ifrit New Fapstronaut

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    From what i understand, your body is regulating itself. Because you are so used to producing semen from the excessive masturbation, your body continues to produce it even after youve stopped wanking. Wet dreams are a pressure relief valve, it has to get out some how.

    Nothing to be ashamed of. Its weakness leaving the body. Stay the course. YOURE GETTING RESULTS!
     
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  18. Ali91

    Ali91 Fapstronaut

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    I can see that you passed the 250 days mark. How is your recovery now? Did you pass the depression, memories, and irritability?
     
  19. Robindale

    Robindale Fapstronaut

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    Recovery is going pretty well. Joined a NoFap weekly group and an SAA group, both help with human connection, support and a place to voice and share what I need or want to. Also see a therapist regularly which helps, though you’ve got to find one you click with; the first one I tried was only minimally helpful. Have an Accountability Partner that I check in with regularly. Also do a biweekly checkin with my spouse on how we are doing. All those things have helped me on my recovery. Irritability has left. Still have occasional memories or fantasies pop in, but acknowlege them, try to think about what is bothering me or what may have triggered it (underlying reason) and then redirect and move on. Not going to let those things own me.
     
    Ali91 likes this.

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