My brain is winning need advice

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Asn95, Feb 3, 2021.

What time did you begin nofap

  1. 00:00am

    1 vote(s)
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  2. Mid day or after

    3 vote(s)
    75.0%
  1. Asn95

    Asn95 Fapstronaut

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    Okay so one thing I’m struggling with is the timing of beginning nofap I keep thinking starting at say 3pm is no good so il get back on a streak from midnight then it can be a day or so then I relapse again and say “il start again from a new week” it’s stupid excuses, I know I’m over thinking and that’s what’s stopping me making this work, and it feels even when I go 5/6 days that I’m carrying around this big black cloud, any suggestions?
     
  2. Slimjimjones

    Slimjimjones Fapstronaut

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    I would start as soon as you wake up the day after relapse.
     
  3. Some questions for you to answer:
    Are you clear on Why you want to stop?
    Who do you want to be?
    What kind of man?
    Do you have any recovery practices at hand that you can use?
    Are you a spiritual person?
    Do you meditate?
    Anything else you would like to share?
     
  4. Asn95

    Asn95 Fapstronaut

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    I am 25 I do it mostly in habit (prone) which is bad in itself, usually 2/3 times a day since I was 11, I do weight lifting 5 days a week I have done since I was 16, I have my own small business which I feel I could achieve a lot more in, on the whole I know I am a kind/caring person just sometimes it feels as if there is two sides to me and I’m overtook by these feelings and desires, I am spiritual when I have gone on a streak as silly as it may sound I have small incidents occur that I feel carry meaning maybe I’m reading too much into that? I did try meditation but didn’t think I was doing it right, I have found I am on my phone excessively especially with being in lockdown
     
  5. Smith Sharp

    Smith Sharp Fapstronaut

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    I no longer make plans. For example saying I will stop smoking from Monday is a nice intention but what if Monday ends up being the worst day ever. Forcing myself to try and stop smoking in a poor frame of mind is doomed. I tend to educate myself first, what is wrong, why is it happening? Then I will start/stop whatever it is when I'm feeling confident and (relatively) mentally strong.
    I'm interested in your title My Brain is Winning. Have you ever looked into how your mind works, like your conscious mind and your ego/caveman/chimp/monkey (people call it different things) mind?
    A perfect example of your chimp mind messing with you is when you try to meditate but it tells you that you're not doing it right :):):)
     
  6. theMotivator

    theMotivator Fapstronaut

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    It's now or never. If you make "future" resolutions, they are just going to postpone. You have to get yourself together and start it now, not tomorrow.
     
  7. WHMvsPMO

    WHMvsPMO Fapstronaut

    The important thing is you begin. Second don't stop. Then figure out how to sustain it instead of just saying you will. That kind of 'positive thinking' is like Disneyland Positive Psychology. There's a ton of self improvement stuff waiting for you to learn and try.
     
  8. Smith Sharp

    Smith Sharp Fapstronaut

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    @Asn95 if you know what sort of person you are, take advice from people who seem similar to you.
    Everyone is different and do things that suits your brain and personality type. For one person starting (stopping) now may be great, for other people it's the road to disaster. But as theMotivator says starting now is good advice even if that is just coming on to the forum and asking questions, at least you are doing something. Don't be disheartened. You will find YOUR way. Don't take peoples word as gospel. They mean well but the advice may not be right for you (including my advice!)
    For example I'm an introvert yet tried to take the advice of boorish people or extroverts for years yet never felt comfortable. Once I looked it what it was to be introverted I became more comfortable with myself. What I was doing wasn't "wrong" it was just different from what extroverts did.
     
  9. Asn95

    Asn95 Fapstronaut

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    thank you so much all of you for your replies, I have been trying since august and the longest Iv managed to go was 6 days, I have got interested in the mental side of things and I’m starting to understand more in theory but in practice is different, I relapsed last night and immediately I felt crap, I do use it as an emotional crutch I had a disappointment in august which was the catalyst for starting in the first place, I feel what I need is a hard reset get over my habits and negative thoughts and slowly start from the beginning in my mind I guess that’s why they say quitting this is the same as alcohol or drugs
     
    Smith Sharp likes this.
  10. Smith Sharp

    Smith Sharp Fapstronaut

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    Trying is good, and 6 days was great, now you know that you are able to go 6 days!
    I'm no expert on the mind but have read a lot and spoke with mental health professionals on a few occasions.
    This may help: there is a part of your mind that is making you either look at porn or masturbate or edge for hours (or all of the above). That part of the mind feeds off negative energy.
    This is the real trick, that part of your mind tries to make you feel like crap after you have acted out. If you buy into its urges to feel like crap it will then feed off that negative energy too. So it get two feedings for the price of one. It will do this in circles for years as it knows how to get you to create the food that it needs.
    If you are aware of what it is doing you can then see it's tricks and what it wants. You have a choice, go along with what it wants or don't.
    I thought I had to fight this mind but it appears that I am responsible for it and have to care for it.
    So now when it fires up its nonsense I tell it to go to its bed, like I would a pet dog. It does sometimes get out of control but now I watch it rather than becoming what it is trying to get me to become.
    You're right about coming off this is similar to alcohol or drugs, the urges are powerful but it is more than possible to overcome them.
    Also if you believe the mind when it tells you that you will fail then you definitely shall, that is guaranteed. If you educate yourself and believe that you will overcome this then you will, it's 100% guaranteed. People like myself, theMotivator, WhMvsPMO and many others will always do our best to help and inspire you.
    Please be kind to yourself and your mind. Praise yourself for your small victories. Peace.
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  11. Asn95

    Asn95 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much I have screenshot your replies so when I get the urge I will just look at them for motivation, means a lot you all replying so kindly, all the best to you all on your journey
     
    kammaSati and Smith Sharp like this.
  12. Thank you for sharing. And why is it you want to quit? What are your values? Describe the ideal version of yourself. How would you describe yourself? How would you like to be described by people important to you?
     
    Smith Sharp likes this.

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