My brain totally destroyed(I'm still working on it)

Hey guys.
Sorry, English is not my native language though I love English and I've been studying it a lot but if you notice grammar error or something else, please skip it
Now I wanna tell my story. When I was 9 or 10 years old, I opened a porn site somehow(I don't know how I did it!) and the first video I saw was a gangbang video.
OH, GOD! I was watching it! I felt very little aroused.(because my puberty hadn't started yet) I don't know but I didn't like pornography and I skipped it for almost 3 years.
When I was 12 years old, I love watching pornography. Later I found out femdom(13 or 14 years old). At the start looked freaky and weird to me but the more I watched it the more I liked it. I couldn't be aroused by anything else at that time. I knew that this was ruining my whole life and I didn't watch it again. for the first six months I just imagined little about it but after a year, I didn't even think or imagine it. I hadn't watched or masturbated for two years so I felt great! (even though I have a powerful imagination) One day when I was surfing on a social network,(15/5 years old) I got a message from an anonymous person and his/her message is just like this: "Can you be my master and dominant me?". Another trigger, another problem.
I started to watch porn again but in a different way, I liked to dominate girls(not in a normal and healthy way) and punish them. At that time I found out these aren't normal(at least for me). Just think! How a pornstar can act like a lesbian, submissive or dominant? You may say: "Because of money!" but there is an important point too. They can be aroused with everything. They did it a lot and their brain are destroyed. A person who has a cocaine addiction wants to take it more even though he/she knew that this harm her/him. The more he/she uses it, The more he/she wants and the more he/she gets destroyed. Pornography is as same as this too. You start with a normal one and you end up with an extreme one, you know this is bad, but you want it again and again. Anyway, I was disappointed at that time so I started to learn a new thing and do exercises frequently and gave up watching porn and musterbation. Now, I'm 19 and I haven't watched or masturbated for almost 3 years. But in the last week, I couldn't stand and saw 5 videos. One of them was femdom but I didn't arouse with it, one another was BDSM and dominating on girls badly. But I was too aroused with those 3 ones, the normal ones. I was happy to experience this(I wish 4u too!). Today it's the fifth day of NoFap and I wish to hit 5-year streak. Thank you for reading my story. I'm ready to get questions and answer them. I'll post tips and tricks in this thread soon. Have an epic day!