My brain wants me to use porn to PROVE I'M NOT GAY (HOCD)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Jreeze2015, Jan 4, 2016.

  1. Jreeze2015

    Jreeze2015 Fapstronaut

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    That's the only way to go. This is how I see it: if we deprive ourselves from orgasm and porn our body will make the changes necessary to revamp our sexuality and push us to pursue women. It will forget about all these doubts and obsessive thoughts because they aren't serving any purpose. Our bodies and DNA want us to procreate. It thought it was doing that when we watched porn and masturbated. I also see a huge problem in that masturbating to other people having sex (seeing another man's penis penetrate a girl) fucks up our brain and the way our brain perceives sex. We are training for the wrong sport. For thousands of years our ancestors brains never saw other people having sex, they had sex themselves and did not wire their brain to jerk off to another man's penis having sex with a girl. That's the issue here. We are using a stimulus that never before in the history of mankind did our ancestors used. No wonder it's having such an impact on our brain.
     
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  2. This is so true! Reminds me of this (sorry for the graphic-ness, but man it's a good slap in the face wake up call):

    [​IMG]

    That's not how it's meant to be, folks! Rebooting is the way to go to fix these problems.
     
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  3. IGY

    IGY Guest

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  4. Jreeze2015

    Jreeze2015 Fapstronaut

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    Yes. Thank you for that.
     
  5. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    @Jreeze2015 I have experienced what you are talking about to an extent. It's completely normal. The link that @IGY posted is a great reference. You mentioned two points:
    1) Uncertainty if are gay because you are drawn to penises when watching porn
    2) Uncertainty if you are gay because you've considered anal penetration.

    Both of these have nothing to do with you're orientation. You said:
    which to me is undeniable proof that you are straight.

    With regards to number 1, porn seeking is all about novelty and being more interested in the male aspect of porn is one aspect of novelty. We are completely used to seeing penises and balls because of all the porn we watch, so we aren't bothered by it, but it's a bit of a shock when we watch gay porn or bisexual porn and shock/novelty is all we need for the dopamine fix.

    Regarding number 2, there's nothing wrong with anal stimulation. Women who have anal sex (and enjoy it) aren't uncertain about their sexuality. But men who enjoy a little anal stimulation (with their straight female partner) feel a concern that they might be gay. It's the same stimulation! If anything it feels better for guys since men have G-spots in their anus, and girls don't.

    Hope this helps.
     
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  6. Jreeze2015

    Jreeze2015 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your input man. In regards to your point about penis and anal stimulation, I never escalated into gay porn. I just started having mental thoughts about the possibility of me being gay and actually liking penis myself which I had never thought about in my life. My tastes were strictly just about girls. That's why I wonder if seeing so much penis in porn over the years has somehow linked it to arousal. I don't know. But I hate the thoughts that pop into my head about it.

    With the anal stimulation thing, I know anal stimulation doesn't have a sexual orientation, but I don't want to do anything with my anus. I think it's gross and I don't want anyone to touch it. It's more of once again, I get these images in my head that are uncontrollable, they just pop into consciousness, of me being penetrated. And I hate it.

    I am just hoping a reboot will lead me back to the way I use to feel. Where just a simple kiss from a girl would get me rock hard. Where my mind can be cleared from this filth. Where I can be comfortable in myeelf. Where I can look another man in the eyes without fear. When I can feel masculine about myself. When there is hope in the future for a beautiful wife and kids.
     
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  7. This makes perfect sense to me. If you think about it... Without porn, as a straight man, when would you ever experience seeing someone else's penis in a sexual setting that could cause arousal? Probably never. It sounds like these thoughts have arisen because of porn, which stands to reason that if you give up porn completely (and Ming as well, would be good), you should be able to get back to a healthier mind. Though it will take time, so don't get discouraged and give up when you don't see results right away. It's a long journey to freedom, but you can do it!
     
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  8. Jreeze2015

    Jreeze2015 Fapstronaut

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    Exactly my point. I mean we are seeing stuff our ancestors never saw. They acted on their true impulses and sexual desires. They didn't consistently orgasm to a stimulus that depicts other people having sex. It all makes sense to me. Thanks for the encouragement. I know it's going to be a long ride but I want my life back. I will never give up. This is all I have left to save my sexuality and my future sex life. I am only on day 11 so I know it's going to be a while. But like I said, I am in for the ride
     
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  9. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    Guys, what do you think..... can porn cause sissy fetish?
     
  10. Dr. J

    Dr. J Fapstronaut

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    Two things. . . . just keep checking how your feel about real women. Forget the weirdness of porn, focus on which sex at a party you'd like to get with.
    Number two (no pun intended), prostate massage is a real thing, and a hetrosexual thing. My wife and my previous girl friend before her, occasionally gives me a prostrate massage with a handjob. It's also gay, but not exclusively gay, it's both.
     
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  11. Jreeze2015

    Jreeze2015 Fapstronaut

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    I would never think of getting with a dude at a party. That's what I'm trying to say. And it's not because of what society says or pressure, I just don't have an interest in making out with a dude. To me a dudes saliva would just seem nasty. A girls saliva seems sweet and I would drink it (not literally) but that's the sexual urge I have towards it. I don't know anymore. I haven't lived life without pornography. So I guess I will just see where it goes from here
     
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  12. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    Excellent point!
     
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  13. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    That's kind of the conclusion I came to. I also suffered from HOCD enough for it to seriously irritate me. Now I've been going hard mode for six months, and it really got a lot better. Just stop it, be patient, and you will get rid of it!

    I recently did some research on the subject and it said that HOCD frequency in men dramatically rose over the past decades. I am not a psychologist nor a neurologist, but that really looks like a correlation with porn consumption right there.

    Apart from that, you can't prove your sexual orientation anyway. It's in your gut feeling.
     
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  14. Alex Maier

    Alex Maier Fapstronaut

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    Hello, i gave to say that i relate perfectly to your situation and struggle. I understand very well what Hocd is. It is a demon that tryes to destroy man. It atacks us from inside. I found a way of crushing HOCD completly. I had the exact same feelings and extreme fear and anxiety about being gay and i constantly had to go to porn and PMO in order to confort myself that i'm alright but then after a short while the same toughts pf doubt came back again tormenting me day and night. The only thing that i wanted was to have a girlfriend and live a happy and normal live. Some day my life changed when i read a post like this that opened my eyes. In that post they where talking about HOCD and they explained that gay people are not afraid or anxious of having gay toughts, they actualy enjoy it. They are rather afraid of the judgement that the society would place on them so they live in the so called "Closet"
    I realised that my toughts where the oposite of a gay men. I was actualy very afraid of beying gay and had severe enxiety when those ideas where coming to my mind so in reality i had nothing to do with gay people; by realising this thing my HOCD got completly shattered. After that i joined a gym and started working out and my morale also got boosted up alot so i also got back my confidence and from that moment on i never had to deal with HOCD again; girlfriends started appearing in my life and i finaly became happy. I was like getting out from a huge storm and going into the sunshine. HOCD still tryed to come back at me but i always reminded myself that gay men are not afraid of being gay so HOCD got destroied from my life. I still strugle with pornograpy but now that i found this friendly comunity and i can share my experience with everybody, i look to the future with confidence that i will also get rid of this evil addiction.
    I wish you the best luck my friend. Let me know in the future how is your struggle going.
    Have a nice day
     
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  15. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    KEY
     
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  16. MLVS1993

    MLVS1993 New Fapstronaut

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    If i can understand your problem you say that you have often thoughts about your sexuality.And i mean that even you feel a man you are thinking about homosexual situations that you cant handle of it,right?Ιf so then your problem is that you have adopted some bad and wrong habits,which create your problem.
     
  17. MLVS1993

    MLVS1993 New Fapstronaut

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    The past days i was trying to have a conversation with you.I had the same problem with you when i was 15 years old.That time i wasnt caring about Pmo,it was not a problem for me.Your problem and i mean your thoughts about sexualism are not relative in the first page with PMO.Pmo destroys your soul,the way that you see women(just for sex or for love).But pmo isnt responsible for the HOCD.
    Whats the cause of your thoughts?My exprience says that the problem was some special habits that i have when i was younger.That time i was interested in my appearance a lot,in my body,my muscles,my hair.I wanted to look perfect as a sexual object.I thought that this was the right type of man,who i had to follow.The strong man with muscles and whatsever(not for his brain)
    These days,which were so difficult to me,i had all the times the thoughts about my sexuality.And suddenly one day i understand that the problem was my bad habits.Aristotle says to one of his books that ''our habits are becoming second nature''.
    I can reassure you as a person who had the same problem with you that you are a man.But if you want to get rid of these thoughts stop caring about your body and your face and how beatiful you are.I mean that your bad habit has created these thoughts.
    I havent made this thoughts since i was stopped going to the gum or caring a lot about how i look like,how handsome i am.I am not telling you not to have hobbys.Do sports.But stop caring about your body permanenlty and you will see progress.If you have any question,because i havent write so clear ask me.
     

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