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my community college sucks. no girls ever bother to talk to me.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Nov 12, 2020.

  1. i don’t like anything about myself besides how my hair looks or clothes i wear when i go outside. and i can’t even go outside anymore because i just get so mad and jealous to see other couples walking around (i don’t even want to go to movie theaters cause of this)

    knowing i will never have any of that. unless i had friends that happen to be players that can introduce me to one of their female friends. but no, society isn’t how it was 10+ years ago where that would happen. nobody i really know gives a shit about my situation. all i get is “oh i can’t help you out there”

    i am guessing though is that i don’t hang around the right people. all the people at my chemical plant job i can’t relate to.

    for instance, i was standing in a group with a couple of my co-workers, all were laughing talking about their sexual encounters saying “i made this girl squirt all the way to the top of the celling and it landed on me” “this lady i was having sex with brought a butt plug with her and it got stuck in her vagina and i was trying to fish it out with my hands”

    then my one co-worker who is surprisingly the only classy guy at my work who was just telling his story because they were all talking about it (thats not that gross and doesn’t go in detail about it) turns over to look at me and says “are you recording this?” “you making notes of this?”

    and it just kinda made me depressed cause i won’t ever have any story to tell except “that one time i used my hand” and this is coming from someone that doesn’t believe in pre - martial sex, but i wanna do it anyways. but don’t know when it all comes down to it if i would actually go through with it.
     
  2. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    First, more likely than not your coworkers are liars. For 97% of people those aren't things that really happen. Best case scenario they saw it in a porn and pretended it was their story. I can say that with confidence for no other reason than butt plugs have a wide base on purpose, so it can't get "stuck" in a vagina. Squirting is not something most women do either, let alone so much it sprays to the ceiling.

    As I said, pills won't help you. Finding "players" to hang around won't help you. You need professional help to solve your shame, inadequacy and resentment issues.

    I get it, it's easy to be so downtrodden you feel like there is no way out and that you have no value. But the fact is, women are going to be attracted by guys that are looking for women to feel better about themselves. So, the solution is learn to like yourself, and then build off of that.
     
    ElrondHalfelven likes this.
  3. im gonna say it was true but all “exaggerated” he did tell me the butt plug story was a chubby girl who also told him after embarrassment “if you want to leave now thats fine” so it makes that those types would be into that gross crap. i couldn’t even watch that in porn, times in porn i saw it, couldn’t even watch it.

    and hell, medicine and actually having a “social circle” seems way more effective than just “loving yourself” its not like if i were walking out somewhere from loving myself so much that girls would sense that, and approach me, and ask for my number. i would believe semen retention and female attraction before i would believe that.

    but thats just in my opinion. i would be willing to take your advice on that, but i am just not a happy person 24/7 cause i am so down about that.
     
  4. ElrondHalfelven

    ElrondHalfelven Fapstronaut

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    And I think
    I agree with Trobone. You need self-love. Doesn't need to sound so flowery, though. Explore your interests, find things that you like and then keep those up. We all have them, sometimes it just takes time to find what they are. Maybe it's reading nerdy high fantasy books, maybe it's working out, doing construction, working on cars, playing Dungeons and Dragons, fishing, martial arts, listening to the Joe Rogan Experience.

    Once you explore yourself and get a feel for what you like, you start to appreciate yourself and increase your confidence and then that shows. You do things because you like them and not because other people expect them of you. And people appreciate that, girls and guys. You don't want to pretend to be someone else, just to get in a girl's pants. I think if you do that, it'll start to feel the same as porn.
     
    jax2k19 and Trobone like this.
  5. ElrondHalfelven

    ElrondHalfelven Fapstronaut

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    Also, check out Jordan Peterson, if you haven't. You might like him. He's good with saving us from falling into despair and worthlessness.
     
  6. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    Disagree. Don't watch that crackpot. Many better real experts who do it for helping people and not fame.


    Medicine won't solve your problems. It'll only mask them, possibly, maybe, but not gaurenteed. And yes, if you love yourself, it's much easier to connect with people because you're not to filled with shame that you feel like you have to hide who you are. Shame convinces us we're not good enough, so we pretend to be someone else in hopes that others will like that version, but that secrecy, that self-hatred, that internal conflict, actually does the opposite and keeps us from developing connections.

    I have no read either of these books - but they're the right topic:

    https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Good...ords=inadequacy&qid=1605800295&s=books&sr=1-6

    https://www.amazon.com/Thought-Was-...ords=inadequacy&qid=1605800285&s=books&sr=1-3
     
  7. ElrondHalfelven

    ElrondHalfelven Fapstronaut

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    Ouch. I have to disagree. All I can say is he's definitely changed my own life for the better. "Experts" are full of crap. Just look at COVID.
     
  8. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    The guy believes in forced monogomy, blames women for violent men, thinks women are to blame for sexual harassment in the workplace because they wear makeup, and that's before getting to his very public statements about race and IQ (eugenics) and his connections to white supremacists (Richard spencer, stephen M (who's last name I can't spell) and him being accused many times by his own students and coworkers for being sexually inappropriate in his office and classrooms.

    I'm glad he's helped you - but he is not someone I would advise to emulate.

    But that's all I'm going to say on that - if he's helped you - than good for you and I'm glad you found something helpfu.
     
  9. still not gonna get rid of my social phobia.
     
  10. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    It's much more likely to than quitting porn or getting laid or taking a pill. Your social phobia has a source - it's a symptom, not the disease. If you want to "get rid" of it, then you have to work on the sahem - which is most likely the source.

    I've explained it the best I can at this point.
     
  11. sahem?
     
  12. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    Shame - your feelings on inadequacy fit under that larger emotional category.

    I'm working on the same issues myself with therapy and workbooks and more.
     
  13. For self-love you can practice meditation. As long as you are not at peace with yourself you cannot bring happiness to someone. I agree with the previous answers (which are very deep and interesting).

    It is scientifically proven that sport releases happiness hormones.

    Eating well contributes to your well being toi.

    I have been approaching girls on the street for 3 years and I advise you to start learning dating. Like any activity it is something you can learn. Overcoming your fear will make you grow a lot and you will realize that girls actually like you.

    24 is young don't be too hard on yourself it's ok !
     
  14. isn’t praying basically meditation?

    i should just put myself in a coma. im better off not breathing.
     
  15. ElrondHalfelven

    ElrondHalfelven Fapstronaut

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    I feel obliged to say that it is worthwhile, in my opinion, to hear what he has to say and watch the videos where he addresses the allegations you make. I believe he does so in an exemplary way. That being said, I don't think that this is the appropriate place for the discussion and don't want this to detract from our common war against porn. To be true to my avatar I should quote Tolkein: "In nothing is the power of the Dark Lord more clearly shown than in the estrangement that divides all those who still oppose him."
     
  16. Well, if you' re shy - that' s your problem. Don' t expect everyone paying you attention, don' t be a toddler. Get used to the fact that good old cliche about not giving a fuck works. Just don't give it and that' s that.
     
  17. not expecting that, but these people are just so boring. we literally had to wait outside until our teacher called us all in for a assignment and he told us to just hang out in the halls, and everyone is just looking at their phone not saying a word to anyone. awful. worst class i had so far, i hope my next english class isn’t the same thing.
     
  18. OffCartman

    OffCartman Fapstronaut

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    This, This, This!
     
  19. PanteriMauzer

    PanteriMauzer Fapstronaut

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    Look in my class , its just me and 7girls , and they talk to me , and the prettiest ones invited me to be on their work group (witch i accepted) and even told me to why you dont sit near us and why you dont take dinner with us , eventually i did that because well their my working group and they seam to be fine and cool with me

    How that happened well im no expert but , i never tried to pleasure them , never seek them neither chase them, and they understood i wasnt needy so thats why they probably wanted me on their group idk, im not a very talkative person but i have good looks and good humour, i make people laught quite easily , on a natural way , saying that i didnt forced things and eventually they happened naturaly
    The most important thing is to have self confidence and social skills , thats what you have to work , dont focus on girls focus on improving you and the rest will come naturaly

    If you like philosophy try fo stoicism
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2020
  20. some people have all the luck. i think it depends on where you at. do you go to a uni or cc? how many of those girls also have boyfriends? and where are you from also?

    i have looked at most of these girls boyfriends and honestly they ain’t better than me. they smoke, do drugs, tattoos on them, or date guys that are “football players” in school. i just hate that i have social anxiety, wish i was never born because of it.

    edit: work group? how come i don’t have that? i guess i gotta wait for a better class then. i will take english next semester and i am hoping for some improvement.
     

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