My confession. I've been addicted to porn, masturbation, sex for 23 years.

I'm a 38 year old married man, with 3 kids. I've been addicted to porn, sex, masturbation, happy ending massages, cam websites, you name it for 23 years. I'm simply writing this out as a confession to my brothers and sisters in Christ. I know what I've done is sinful. I've prayed and repented hundreds of times. Only to go right back to it. I don't have the courage to stand up in front of my family and friends and confess this, so I'm starting here, and I think that's okay. I'm at peace with that. I'm confessing in hopes of healing this terrible addiction. In hopes of restoring this part of my soul. Restoring true intimacy with my wife. Being "the dude" at work. Finding "me" again. And just simply not living everyday of this life in guilt and shame because I engage in some form of sexual immorality that day. I'm the dog that keeps running back and eating his own vomit. I don't know why. I'm not even sure that I care why. I'm just choosing to walk in hope right now. And leaving the past where it is. In the past. I'm glad I was able to find a place to express this.

 

Right now, the next step is getting through today. Then tomorrow and so on. I believe eventually it will dissipate. Making it through the last couple of days, shows me I can do it. I'm just moving through the days slowly, and embracing the journey.