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My Confession

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Confession, Aug 5, 2018.

  1. Confession

    Confession New Fapstronaut

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    Hi. Everybody. I am Asian so my English is not very good so I hope you can know what I mean even with a lot of grammatical mistakes. I am typing this with serious dizziness and a lot of confession after my fap today. I just want to share my experience to you.

    If you do want to know more about the opinions toward fap from other people or know more about the negative side of fap, you are very very welcome to read my story. For me, reading the post from other body suffering from fap motivates both me and the one who post his experience.

    Fap is definitely no good to anyone. It is definitely detrimental,catastrophic, calamitous .

    After reading a lot of post in Chinese website and some posts in NoFap, the only difference I could tell is that posts form nofap will focus more on the relationship between husband and wife, and the spirit as well as the mental stuff. The websites in Chinese will mainly focus on the disastrous effects to the physical health. May be it is due to the fact that in general, the foreigners like exercising so the negative effect is not obvious temporarily. However, all the bad things ,both physically and mentally, will eventually appear and get worse if the habit of masturbating persist.

    I start to fap start from Secondary School Form 2. I didn't feel my health get worsen is the first year. However, start from the second year, my physical health drops dramatically. Even I sleep early in the night, may be at around 10pm to 10:30pm, I still feel very very very tired in the following day and find it very difficult to wake up, I will even yawn immediately after I wake up.

    It has worsen to a unbearable situation that I couldn't pay attention in class, feeling exhausted and dizzy after the sport class........etc.

    But I still don't realized the seriousness of this, and continue my fap behavior, at around one time per day.

    Finally that day had come. When I fap to the porn in my home after school, the moment it ejaculate, a lot of fear with extreme fatigue appears. There is a feeling that I will fall down on the floor and become unconscious. I am thinking whether I should call an ambulance. I don't want to die in my young age. Fortunately, the uncomfortableness alleviate a little bit after I take a long rest on the bed.
    Start from that time, I know that, if I cannot stop the fap habit, I will die very very soon.

    There is a sentence written in Chinese that I remember in these years. After the translation, it approximately means , "Those why cry in night due to fap, will truly know the retribution of fap."

    After that experience, I start to read books, read the post of how to quit fap, do a lot of researches. do physical exercises,
    and the situation improve.

    My health recovers slowly and it take me several years, but still not 100% recoverd.
    The longest record for me is approximately two years or three years. It is not special and not remarkable for me, because I know that, if I did't make it, I can just wait for my death.

    Apart from the damage to physical health, I also read a lot of material which state that bad luck will come with masturbating, and I definitely agree that , even it might involve some religious perspective. In the journey of getting rid of masturbating, I meet Buddhism, I am by no mean promoting religious stuff, but I found some good ways of giving up masturbating in the scriptures.

    But it is really import to note that, the more the situation improve after you quit masturbating , the more likely you forget the pain , it is easy for you to break your rules and start again, just like what I did today. It is about 180 days from the last time I fap, however I still break the rules today. It is really depressing but I will try to promise myself, starting from today, not to masturbate in ten years. You might think it is ridiculous but I will try my best to fulfill my commitment.

    Unfortunately, I will not be able to type everything in my mind here because there are really a lot.

    If you want to discuss with me, feel very free to comment below or contact me by email.

    It is my high hope that everyone suffering from this could save your live by quitting masturbating early, face the beauty of life.
     
    Rewiring likes this.
  2. Sharingan

    Sharingan Fapstronaut

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  3. Confession

    Confession New Fapstronaut

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  4. Rewiring

    Rewiring Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your educational thread.
    I've been doing 7 years of PMO. And I have a commitment to quit until I get married someday. I am 20 and this should be done.

    In the name of my future wife, son, daughter, and me.

    Good luck to you, me, and everyone who read this thread and my post.
    Stay strong!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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