I'm having a difficult time with my cross country move. This once in a lifetime career opportunity has made me feel regret. Porn has helped me with my sense of loneliness and unhappiness here. I kept hiding my porn addiction from my wife and she recently found it. Why couldn't I just be honest with her? Why am I ashamed to be honest?
My cross country journey
- Thread starter Hec07
- Start date
New approaches I've been taking after my therapist have been helping. When I feel my urge, I am looking to other alternates that are beneficial for me that don't make me feel ashamed. One of the suggestions is a website blocker and it's crazy how well that's been working for me. Nearly all the sites I used on a daily basis have porn available with just a click away. It's too readily available everywhere. I've also starting reading my favorite books again and trying out origami for the hell of it. It's quite relaxing.
I haven't been in the same home with my wife for 3 days. We discussed it's best for both of us. It has helped me with feeling my comfortable with my thoughts and ponder how we got to this point.
We even met up at a park yesterday for a few hours. We chatted a bunch about the next steps, had a few laughs, and spoke more about times I haven't been honest with her regarding my urges. Felt like a relief to get this off my chest but my heart was racing coming clean. Ever since I was a kid, always been afraid to be honest because I was afraid of judgment or yelling from my dad.
It's like I believe I hide stuff with good intentions. My wife's too clever and knew something fishy was going on.
Last thing to mention is she would like me to come back home earlier than planned. There'll also be more changes such as she needs more "me time" and for us to find a therapist for group sessions. I just need to fully believe in myself that I can become the best person that I've always wanted to be. Not just for my wife but for myself as well.
I haven't been in the same home with my wife for 3 days. We discussed it's best for both of us. It has helped me with feeling my comfortable with my thoughts and ponder how we got to this point.
We even met up at a park yesterday for a few hours. We chatted a bunch about the next steps, had a few laughs, and spoke more about times I haven't been honest with her regarding my urges. Felt like a relief to get this off my chest but my heart was racing coming clean. Ever since I was a kid, always been afraid to be honest because I was afraid of judgment or yelling from my dad.
It's like I believe I hide stuff with good intentions. My wife's too clever and knew something fishy was going on.
Last thing to mention is she would like me to come back home earlier than planned. There'll also be more changes such as she needs more "me time" and for us to find a therapist for group sessions. I just need to fully believe in myself that I can become the best person that I've always wanted to be. Not just for my wife but for myself as well.
