I've never liked him. Actually, I've never met someone who has. Ever. Ever since I was born my family and I have been literally on edge, everyday feels like we're walking on eggshells. Every morning I awake to him calling my grandma and uncle retards over the smallest irrelevant things. It hurts the most when he belittles and mocks my grandma, she is the only woman in my life I feel attached to. It is she, whom has sacrificed the most for me and did her best to teach me right from wrong. My bio mom died in a car wreck when I was 7 years old. Although it left some scars I never really felt bad about it. Mom worked her whole life and her and dad frequently fought, atleast she doesn't have to suffer anymore. I remember a big fight in which mother threatened my dad divorce, I wish it happened. After the car wreck dad increasingly became unstable. It's understandable because his wife died and he got seriously injured. However, I don't understand why he took his anger out on us. He would throw things and break things over small matters. His intimidation made it terrifying to speak out against any decision he made. Now he can't control bio mom he became controlling to me, my brother, and my grandma. My brother got sick of it and moved out, but dad still bullys us. He married my step mom from the PH so "she could raise us". Multiple times he referred to her as a "maid". He forids her to drive and shames her when she wants to visit friends. He enjoys bribing us with expensive gifts. I had my own computer and laptop at age 7, which I started watching porn and became addicted. I had no parental guidance over any decision I made. Everytime I confronted my dad over his behavior he would say "You have everything, I bought you expensive clothes, laptops, cell phone, computer, tablet, and this is how you treat me?". He is constantly on facebook posting hateful things about other people. He is always boasting about how hes right and everyone elses opinion is wrong. Yet he still wonders why everyone hates him and can't stand him. Since I was a young girl he would fill my mind with scary conspiracy theories (Some I agree, some I dont). He taught me that the government can watch us through our T.V. Whether hes correct or not, it was fucked up to tell me that. Later on, he purposely put a T.V. In the bathroom in front of the toilet even though I had a mental breakdown about the government watching us. He knows we feel fucking uncomfortable yet he purposely does shit like this to us. My grandma and everyone else is in denial. None of our family members or friends visit us because of my dad. His excuse is "When you speak the truth no one will like you", good heavens! He actually thinks he's in the right about all this! I'm homeschooled now because my porn addiction issue was so severe I had withdrawals in the past that were comparable to cocaine withdrawal. I've grown so distant from both my family and my friends. My last friends stopped coming around because of my dad. *Sigh*.. It is my fault I'm in this mess anyways. I made bad decisions my entire life. Dad, I'm sorry to put the blame on you. I love you and I dont love you. You're the biggest asshole and problem in my life but im thankful that you gave me a house to live in and food to eat. People in this world have worse than me. Heavenly father please forgive me for being the person I am today.