My depression and anxiety quadrupled since NoFap

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Fenix Rising, Dec 21, 2017.

  1. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone

    I'd like to ask you, if any of you experienced similar side effects when giving up porn, masturbation and sex: very low energy levels (basically feeling tired all the time), insomnia, brain fog throughout the day, no motivation, strong social anxiety, self isolation tendencies, panic attacks at night?

    I'm having problems with compulsive masturbation and porn use for cca 17 years. My problem with PM has even worsened in the last 3 year period, when my parent died, GF left me and I lost a job. I've tried to quit numerus times, last year I went NoFap for almost 90 days, before relapsing big time (watching porn and MB for hours on daily basis) and I've been in this relapsing period till recently.

    I'm in NoFap period again, nearing 30 days now, but this time around it feels very different. I have experienced mood swings before, but I've had far more not less energy and less anxiety. I'm just bitten down now, no energy from day one of NoFap, feeling really, really tired all the time, insomnia combined with morning oversleeping, depressed and anxious as hell. The only thing that keeps me going right now is my daily exercising routine: cycling, running and weightlifting. It looks like I f...d my brains so much, I need a daily fix of dopamine and serotonin just to feel alive. But I can't go on like this, sleep deprivation, no apetite nor will for healthy eating is burning me out. I'm like a living zombie. I really don't know what to do anymore. Do you think these symptoms are only temporary? I was used and prepared to go trough withdrawal symptoms, but it feels like I'm fighting a total different beast now.
     
  2. BostonB

    BostonB Fapstronaut

    fapping compulsively fills your brains with chemicals like a drug. It is just like quitting alcohol or coffee, it is going to be hard and you will feel terrible. What has worked for me is to try to replace the porn with something else that gives you natural feel good. Exercise has been super good to me. I purchased a bike and used to take out all the time. It made me feel so much better within the first week.

    My withdrawal symptoms were anxiety, depression and fatigue. They lasted a long time if I relapsed because it was like giving a boost to the symptoms. But they did go away quicker once I started to work out and stopped drinking too much alcohol. Try to not drink alcohol during the week, just the weekend.
     
  3. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    How long did it take for exercise to make you feel better? I'm exercising 5-6 days a week for 30 days now and it only lifts my mood for couple of hours after work out, then I'm back in black hole again. It wasn't like this at all during my other tries :( I'm afraid PM is just drug of choice to cover our deeper psych problems we have. When we stop "using" it, problems resurface along with addiction withdrawal symptoms. That's way, it's so hard to break the cycle permanently.
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2017
    certaintyprinciple likes this.
  4. Danny8

    Danny8 Fapstronaut

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    Perhaps someone to talk to about how you feel? If the PMO abuse is just a symptom of an underlying issue?
     
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  5. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    It's just bloody hard to to talk to someone about PMO. I can't even image discussing it with my doctor or a shrink. I'd be probably easier if I was a heroin addict :)
     
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  6. Dunrobin

    Dunrobin Fapstronaut

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    How did your initial few weeks go? Did you feel yourself drift down or was it always like this? My experience so far at a week is different. I felt like you do now when surrounded by pmo. Now I feel the surge and much more alive. I haven't put exercise into my routine yet and have indulge myself with McDonald's and pizza this week which isn't like me normally, imwill deal with that one from next week, post Christmas dinner!!

    Any chance you are over exercising? 5-6 seems excessive even if you were semi pro in the past. Last spring I threw myself into a similar routine and was burning out after a month. Reined it back to 2-4 times and felt a lot better in general

    Just a thought, we are all different and being on the skag won't help!
     
  7. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I didn't experience these problems before NoFap. I was not in a good shape, but not exactly depressed or so anxious either. I was expecting mood swings but rising energy in first weeks, I've gotten headaches and insomnia instead. Headaches stopped after a week, deep tiredness, depression mixed with anxiety followed. I hope this is just temporary state and things will go uphill in second month.

    Good advice, I'll cut down on exercise. I'm just afraid of stopping, because I don't know if I'll find willpower to continue exercising every second day or so. I have a feeling exercise is the only thing that keeps me going right now.
     
  8. Dunrobin

    Dunrobin Fapstronaut

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    I got a fitbit and made sure I always got in at least 10000 steps on the days I wasn't doing actual exercise last year. Morning walk, lunch walk, evening walk if required. Podcasts, music or just listen to the world

    ZMA worked for me to defeat insomnia. Charles Poloquin advocates we are all low omn Magnesium. I'd say us pmo pilots lack even more.

    #16

    http://www.strengthsensei.com/21-reasons-why-you-need-a-good-magnesium-supplement/

    Sometimes you just need to grind it out to get to the next level
     
  9. Joe70

    Joe70 Fapstronaut

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    Hi @HoplessCase101,

    I think you are right that PM is our drug of choice to deal with whatever psych problems we have. BUT I think you are wrong to be afraid. This is our chance to discover those problems and find other ways of dealing with them. By definition they sound bad and even maybe terrifying but they are part of us and have shaped who we are - for good and bad. I think the trick is to accept what they are and learn how to keep them in their rightful place in our lives and in proper perspective so we can deal with them in healthy and positive ways.

    As for it feeling different this time around, it sounded from your posts lie your last period of PMO has been more intense that any that went before so I guess you've just upped the negative training for your brain. In drug terms, you were taking higher doses so the withdrawal would be worse. I really hope it gradually eases for you and you can start having better days. I keep telling myself if I'm serious about quitting this but relapse now, I'm just going to have to go through the initial hard stuff all over again.

    I definitely had headaches for the first week, I felt incredibly tired even though I was sleeping better than I have done in years, and my moods are not great. Yet somehow, I feel like something is better, I just can't yet put my finger on anything specific like more energy or greater focus.

    Hang in there - you're doing great :)
     
  10. Primalthrust

    Primalthrust Fapstronaut

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    Nice job on making 30 days!
    You are still early in yet and this could just be a flatline period, especially if you were PMOing quite consistently before this streak. What was your useage like before this streak?

    It sounds like you've had quite a tough time over the last few years, that stuff takes its toll on anybody.

    Interesting to hear how you felt on your 90 day reboot last year? Did you experience the same feelings you are having now?

    Also 17 years is a long time my friend, i was hooked on it for about the same time. Especially if that is with high speed internet. It will take a considerable amount of time for your brain to reconfigure!!
     
  11. Joe70

    Joe70 Fapstronaut

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    How long for you @Primalthrust? What sport of symptoms were you suffering from PMO that you've managed top overcome? I'd really like to here direct experiences so as to know what might be reasonable to expect in time.
     
  12. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I felt hyperactive, but kind of restless after 90 days of reboot. I started exercising, dating, travelling, working hard again... I couldn't stand being still. I had a feeling I have to move all the time. My social anxiety was way lower, but then something happened, I can't explain. When I finally calm down, glued to computer screens again, before I noticed, I was hooked to PMO. Anxiety kicked in again, so much that I even stopped answering my phone. Compulsive behavior after relapsing was worse then ever before.

    Dr. Carnes in his book In the Shadows of the Net said, it takes aprox. 3 years to completely recover from long term compulsive PMO. 90 days is just a start of a journey to recovery. I can't imagine fighting it for 3 years, but do I have a choice? Living hooked up on PMO is like being half functioning chemical addict.
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2017
  13. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    I think you have to continue no pmo. You are seriously addicted and need to fight everyday until that brain fog finally lifts off of you. I didnt know how badly the brain is affected through masturbation and porn until I started doing nofap and the brain fog finally left me. Feeling alive and healthy is much more preferable to jacking off all the dam time, but I grew up in the 80s and was told the lies that masturbation was a good thing to do and healthy.
     
  14. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    So true. 90s were no better. Shrinks are fighting over it even today. I don't know what kind of proof do they need, to call it addiction. CT brain scans are clear, chemistry behind it also. Heroin addict can overcome physical addiction under professional supervision in a week, psychological cravings are another story. Pretty similar to PMO.
     
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  15. Purity of Speech

    Purity of Speech Fapstronaut

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    for one, you've got 30 days: congrats! look around here, most of us have less. and you used to have 90....
    but about the withdrawal: i've had all kinds of painful & uncomfortable periods in my life; some shorter, some longer. when it's over, it's just a story that nobody cares about. so for me, how i feel about such things is almost irrelevant information. the only real question is: does it have to be done? if the answer is positive, there is no point wasting time thinking whether the situation is likable or could be better or, worse 'should be better'.
    ... don't get me wrong: i'm not trying to be mean or sth like bossy and i think it's great you're posting this. for all of us. it's a trip, this thing. this is just one way i found practical to put things into a perspective that makes them appear small, when they could appear huge & menacing, if you allowed them to... [google navy seals 40% rule for a similar logic by professionals].
     
  16. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    30, 60, 90 120 days of Nofap is no big deal. The big deal is what comes after no PMO period. That's why I don't use counters, web filters at cetera. If you have long term bad habit, you need to replace it with healthier one and if you where in 'a game of compulsive behaviour' for a decade or more, you need to seriously address your mental disorders (being COB, depression, anxiety or something else) and probably also lacking social skills, PMO is just a cover to 'ease your pain', just like alcohol or drugs are only a symptom, not a cause of ones addiction. Believe me, you have to change your life habits all together, if you want to get rid of PMO. Otherwise you may reach your timer goal and relaps big time after that, being sucked in the loop all over again or ever develop some chemical addiction to cover your pain. Been there, done that, unfortunately.
     
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  17. rockstarsteves

    rockstarsteves Fapstronaut

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    There is no benefit in shame or guilt and let me tell you - doctor's and shrink have heard way more crazier insane shit than PMO - they will only help you, not judge you!

    ALSO part of recovery is dealing, accepting and facing the uncomfortable emotions you have been escaping from through porn / addiction - so the fact that they are coming to the surface is actually a gift - no matter how uncomfortable - so you can face them knowing they will most def be temporary, heal them and truly be free to be the best person you can be
     
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  18. Former_CD

    Former_CD Fapstronaut

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    This 3 year period you mentioned actually makes me feel better. I am 21 months in and although I feel better and don't feel tempted, I still don't feel cured.
     
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  19. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I'm glad you are doing so well. 21 months is a stellar accomplishment. Hope I can match it one day. 3-5 years is a recovery period based on Ph.D Patrick J. Carnes's program. I think it's 3 years for internet porn addictions and more for real life sex addictions. It's basically a program that helps you identify your problems that has let you to addiction, threat them professionally and help you develop healthy habits instead of PMO. The catch is, you have to pay lots and lots of money, if you want to participate in such programs. I don't feel like paying 30-50€/h next 3-5 years to a shrink, no matter how good he or she is. But his two books (Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior) are great read to understand what has happened to us and how to confront it. As I said it before, PMO is just a symptom, not the cause of our compulsive behavior problems.
     
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  20. Former_CD

    Former_CD Fapstronaut

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    I have been in therapy for most of this time. I'm starting to understand what you are talking about porn being a symptom. Currently food is my new symptom. More work to do.
     

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