My depression and anxiety quadrupled since NoFap

[Fenix Rising]

Hi everyone, just to give you an update... I'm past half of 90 days no PMO mark now and I'm sorry to say, I still feel like shit. Headaches are gone but general tiredness and anxiety still persist on daily basis. Insomnia combined with morning oversleeping is worse then ever. Funny thing is I don't even get desire to PMO anymore. I feel like a walking dead most of the time. The only time I still feel somewhat alive are few hours after daily exercise routine (mon running/weightlifting, tue cycling, wed running/weightlifting, thu cycling, fri running/weightlifting, sat swimming/sauna. If I skip a day or two of exercise, I get so depressed that I'm afraid I'll just say f... it, forget work and stay in bed all day.

Not a very uplifting post, but that's the way it is right now. The upside of NoFap for two months is that I'm starting to see how f...ed up my life has been with PMO last 17 years. I'm starting to evaluate life with more clarity (painful to see all lost opportunities because of PMO induced brain fog/numbness) and pushing myself to be more social, taking interest in human contacts again, and workout like an animal.

 

[Primalthrust]

Not uplifting but a very honest post, thanks for updating how your getting on.
I'm on day 34 and I'm going through similiar ordeal, I'm noticing a lot of things in my life that I have been oblivious too and a lot of habits and thought patterns that are doing me no favours. However the tired/brain fog doesn't lift, unless I go to the gym and for random periods throughout the day. I also have no desire to watch porn at all. I feel exhausted a lot of the time, not really physically but mentally if you get me

Can I ask what is your diet like? Do you eat much sugar and junk food? Drink coffee?

I wonder about this because bread constitutes a large part of my diet, and other wheat based high gluten stuff. Maybe this could be causing the problems as I hear that this causes lethargy and brain fog if somebody has an intolerance.

 

[Fenix Rising]

Can I ask what is your diet like? Do you eat much sugar and junk food? Drink coffee?

I wonder about this because bread constitutes a large part of my diet, and other wheat based high gluten stuff. Maybe this could be causing the problems as I hear that this causes lethargy and brain fog if somebody has an intolerance.

I've erased sugar from my diet except sugar in fruits/milk and sometimes chocolate. I generally don't eat junk food (maybe pizza twice a month), but I do drink too much coffee (4-6 cups a day).

Wheat might be the cause. I do have problems with wheat products. I don't have coeliac disease (gluten intolerance), but some kind of intolerance to wheat, that's why I make my bread from spelt (Triticum spelta), old species of wheat. It's not ideal, but gives me less side effects then ordinary wheat. I think it would be best to not eat wheat products at all, but it's very hard to go without a bread and wheat is in most of todays processed food products.

 

[Deleted Account]

How long did it take for exercise to make you feel better? I'm exercising 5-6 days a week for 30 days now and it only lifts my mood for couple of hours after work out, then I'm back in black hole again. It wasn't like this at all during my other tries I'm afraid PM is just drug of choice to cover our deeper psych problems we have. When we stop "using" it, problems resurface along with addiction withdrawal symptoms. That's way, it's so hard to break the cycle permanently.

Hey, sorry it took me a while to reply. It took a few months to start to feel better. But if I think about it, it wasn't the amount of exercise that helped me but the quality of the exercise. For me a daily bike ride outside really helped. The gym was good and all, but being outdoors with fresh air and feeling like you are MOVING, going somewhere helped.

Also, keep in mind that you may have some bottled up feelings that you may not even be aware of. I know that is the case with me! This fog that you live with in your mind, it just muddies everything and screws with your real feelings. So for me it took me a while of self reflection to even begin to deal with my emotions. Once I started dealing with my emotions with my separation, and the issues with my family, I started to feel in a better mood more regularly. It may not be all porn, but porn certainly doesn't help.

What else may be bugging you? Or think about it this way, if you were someone else, what would you recommend this person to improve his life?

 

[Deleted Account]

Hey

I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator super powers and no special insite. I share my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) of what works for me.

Just another warm welcome and a heart felt hello. This community has helped me so much.

What worked for me was "working" it. It took hard work for me to complete a hard reboot (No pmo) for 120 days, then move into a Sex Positive mode.

First, reading the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals.

Then, doing the work. Writing in my journal and replying to introductions and other's journals.

Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found it on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational".

That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.

* L

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PS: Why not say hello to some members? The fellowship is so important to me, I hope you might find it important as well.

@GeeWhizz Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152127/
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@Sunshadow Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/75108/
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@Tomoya Okazaki Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143534/
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@2525 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/150280/
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@Visor Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144228/
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@Dragonnlife Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/136148
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@weddingnails Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143418/
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@Struggle Bug Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/141911/


There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start.

 

[Fenix Rising]

Hi everybody, my second update... I'm on day 65 now, things are not getting worst at least. Maybe even a little better. I'm still experiencing insomnia and feeling really tired when waking up, anxiety and depression is so-so now, I feel like being bipolar, hopeless before daily exercise and feeling OK after it. It's like my brain demand dopamine/serotonin cocktail fix to function properly, substituting bingle PMO with running/cycling/weightlifting to the point of near exhaustion. I don't know if body will be able to sustain this routine, but I'm afraid to stop it. Physical pain is nothing in comparison with dark mental state I fall in, if I'm not physically active. I can get away with resting on Sunday but no more.

Funny thing, I still don't feel na erge to mb... at all. It seems like hitting 90 is not gonna be very hard, but stop feeling miserable is. I'm more afraid of major depression episode than relapsing at this stage. I know, If I fall into permanent mental black hole again, where I stop caring about anything or anyone, self medicating with PMO again, would be "my" first "logical" choice. I don't even want to think about life choices I have made, I can manage only one step at the time right now. I was hoping to do some "soul searching" during NoFap, but now I'm afraid to even think about it. Maybe after 90 days mark... let's see what future brings...

 

[Deleted Account]

Glad to hear you are moving along with no relapse.

Have you spoken with anyone regarding mental health? Could it be that you have been using pmo as a way to cope with something else going on in your mind? It wouldn't hurt to talk to someone about it.

Good luck and keep going!

 

[Fenix Rising]

Glad to hear you are moving along with no relapse.

Have you spoken with anyone regarding mental health? Could it be that you have been using pmo as a way to cope with something else going on in your mind? It wouldn't hurt to talk to someone about it.

Good luck and keep going!

Thanks. Day 73 now, 90 is getting closer and closer I've seen very good psych doc a few years ago, but she didn't find anything wrong with me. She wanted to give me some antipsychotics just to be sure, but I declined. Eating meds without prior establishing firm diagnosis, is not my cup of tea. She said that I see life through too dark grasses, but unfortunately , it was my job as global risk management analyst/adviser for post/insurance companies, to see things as they are and what I saw was not pretty at all. I've had a privilege to have many discussions with former scientific adviser to the UK Government Sir John Beddington and many top climate and demographic scientists, like prof Kevin Anderson, David MacKay. Off the record they all agreed that they can't see how todays complex civilization survives past 21. century without taking very, very drastic measures now. 9 billions people by 2030, 10-11 billions by 2050 - extreme food water shortages (river Ganges will dry by 2050 or sooner, leaving 500 millions Indians without water supply. India is already draining 300 years old underground water supplies today). If we hit past 2 C global temperature rise, large parts of Bagladesh go under sea (2C probably by reached by 2040-2050)... Middle East and Sahara becoming to hot to live by the end of the century (translating into 300-500 mio refugees at EU borders)... We Westerns might still squeeze 30-50 years of OK life, if we don't blow ourselves up before in war conflict, but our children and especially grandchildren are doomed just because climate change and overpopulation induced food/water shortages will become more and more catastrophic, resulting in massive refugee crisis like our civilization has not seen before, which will inevitably lead to national conflicts and conflicts for remaining arable lands/ strategic resources... That makes me really said. We could avoid this scenario by changing our way of life (by eliminating human CO2 food print by 2050 and change our economy system to sustainable one - todays economic theory of an infinite grow on a finite planet, which is total lunacy), but we choose not to, willingly sentencing our children and grandchildren and 90 % of other species to face very probable extinction in the near future. When I told doc these reasons for my anxiousness, depression and anger, she needed a drink. Staying sane in a mad world is not a simple task. I ask myself many times, if people diagnosed with "madness", are actually not more sane then us, "normal" people.

 

[Vulkan]

Until 2050 a lot can happen. Maybe there will be innovations that solve the problems and you were depressed for nothing. And even if humanity is doomed 2050, it will not save us that you are depressed now.

Experts are often wrong, they may have an agenda or they didn´t notice a mistake somewhere but draw chains of conclusions from it. They are often very arrogant about their opinion. But a true expert is very careful about his statements and is very careful about what he considers a fact.

I also believe that our complex systems are unstable and may crash any time for a variety of reasons. But the systems are too complex and too many variables are unknown, that we could judge the future that precisely.

We have to master our own lives first, before we speculate how mankind is doomed 2050.

 

[Fenix Rising]

Until 2050 a lot can happen. Maybe there will be innovations that solve the problems and you were depressed for nothing. And even if humanity is doomed 2050, it will not save us that you are depressed now.

Experts are often wrong, they may have an agenda or they didn´t notice a mistake somewhere but draw chains of conclusions from it. They are often very arrogant about their opinion. But a true expert is very careful about his statements and is very careful about what he considers a fact.

I also believe that our complex systems are unstable and may crash any time for a variety of reasons. But the systems are too complex and too many variables are unknown, that we could judge the future that precisely.

We have to master our own lives first, before we speculate how mankind is doomed 2050.

I don't want to argue, but our mathematical models and empirical data at Munich Re are showing us that number of catastrophic weather/climate related incidences worldwide is increasing abnormally in 21. century, to the point that we questioned if insurance of some assets that clients were able to insure for hundreds of years are becoming unsustainable. This will hit people hard with higher premiums worldwide, especially farmers in more exposed areas, not being able to to take out insurance at all, causing prices of food to sky rocket worldwide. When this happens, we'll see "food riots" in poor countries, like we have already seen in Syria (before war), Egypt, Tunisia etc, because people will starve. These risk avoidance insurance policies will not be implemented by 2050, but are in place now and are becoming worse and worse, because of more frequent and more devastating natural disasters. "Our" data is empirically confirming scientists' climate models predictions and human demography is one of the most predictable variables in the equation. I've calculated probabilities and risks all my adult life (+20 years) and knowing all the data, if I'd have to bet on civilization surviving 21. century, I'd bet against it, without much hesitation. Storing or pumping CO2 out of the atmosphere is an utopian dream. We'd need to invent technology that can neutralize more CO2 then our biosphere (oceans, forests) is sucking in. Basically we'd need to develop second earth biosphere by 2050, after that it's game over, effects of global warming have 20-25 years lag time (temperatures still increasing for quarter of a century, after we stop emitting greenhouse gasses). Second law of thermodynamics can not be fooled, unfortunately.

 

[Vulkan]

Math is great, but it´s not everything. As I said, you can´t know everything about the world to calculate the future.

For example, there could be innovations in the next years that would change the whole game.
Your calculations may be accurate for the variables you know and I respect it. Still the world is much more complex than a mathematical model. Something may happen that nobody even had on the radar.

Maybe this helps you to have some good hope.

 

[Fenix Rising]

Math is great, but it´s not everything. As I said, you can´t know everything about the world to calculate the future.

For example, there could be innovations in the next years that would change the whole game.
Your calculations may be accurate for the variables you know and I respect it. Still the world is much more complex than a mathematical model. Something may happen that nobody even had on the radar.

Maybe this helps you to have some good hope.

I'm sorry, but this sounds like an utopian dream. Physics behind greenhouse effect is known since 1896 and empirically tested for more than 100 years. We need to discover technology that can deliver negative CO2 emissions of ~800 Gt by 2100, starting 2020... 800 giga ton! It's insanity. Humans have never come even close to producing anything at such large scale on any timeframe. The only technology that could save the day (fusion power plants) is at least 20, but more likely 30-50 years away. We would need it by 2020. I'm not a pessimist by nature, but being realist in the world of fake news and dominant social media, makes me very unpopular. We're behaving like laws of physics don't apply to us anymore, but unfortunately, they do and we or our children will most likely pay dearly for our foolishness.

 

[Vulkan]

your name "HoplessCase101" suggests, that maybe you need some hope to be not that depressed.
I don´t want to argue, just give you some input for a less depressed view.

Maybe there will be no fusion power plants. Maybe another innovation for electricity.
There are many different fields where innovations could be realized.
It could be something biotechnological, maybe robotics, maybe computer science, maybe geoengineering, maybe an agricultural revolution, maybe birth control, etc etc. - or maybe a whole new field that absolutely nobody has on the radar.
Who would have thought 100 years ago, that today every kid has a computer in his pants pocket to access the internet?

And it doesn´t have to be an innovation, this was just an example how you can´t forsee the future.
For example the development of population may be different in reality than it is now expected. Maybe there will be a regime in china/india etc that is strictly for birth control. Maybe a virus breaks out of a laboratory that makes billions of people sterile.
Maybe there will be a worldwide campaign that makes people work for solutions hard.
You could imagine millions of scenarios where reality will be different from the mathematic model, because the world is so complex and the model is based on a few variables.
The single scenario may appear unlikely (for example will aliens contact us after seeing we are in a mess?), but the myriad of possibilities make it a non-predictable system.

The opinions of experts are sometimes so wrong it is funny after you see the reality unfold. Random example: "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.

 

[Deleted Account]

Well I had same issues. We need to keep oureslves busy and improving every day so teh anxiety goes away.

 

[JedWiley]

Hi everyone

I'd like to ask you, if any of you experienced similar side effects when giving up porn, masturbation and sex: very low energy levels (basically feeling tired all the time), insomnia, brain fog throughout the day, no motivation, strong social anxiety, self isolation tendencies, panic attacks at night?

I'm having problems with compulsive masturbation and porn use for cca 17 years. My problem with PM has even worsened in the last 3 year period, when my parent died, GF left me and I lost a job. I've tried to quit numerus times, last year I went NoFap for almost 90 days, before relapsing big time (watching porn and MB for hours on daily basis) and I've been in this relapsing period till recently.

I'm in NoFap period again, nearing 30 days now, but this time around it feels very different. I have experienced mood swings before, but I've had far more not less energy and less anxiety. I'm just bitten down now, no energy from day one of NoFap, feeling really, really tired all the time, insomnia combined with morning oversleeping, depressed and anxious as hell. The only thing that keeps me going right now is my daily exercising routine: cycling, running and weightlifting. It looks like I f...d my brains so much, I need a daily fix of dopamine and serotonin just to feel alive. But I can't go on like this, sleep deprivation, no apetite nor will for healthy eating is burning me out. I'm like a living zombie. I really don't know what to do anymore. Do you think these symptoms are only temporary? I was used and prepared to go trough withdrawal symptoms, but it feels like I'm fighting a total different beast now.

It is slightly different every time you quit mate. You have been through a hell of a time lately - in my opinion this is your under lying issue. Take my situation, I lost someone I lived for in 2012 and the truth is I'm still hurting, I still have an anxiety from the sudden lost now in 2019, I'm still fighting and struggling with that, let alone the battle in my own mind against fapping. I hear you because I was fapping everyday for ... honestly 4 something years, I tried to stop but I was miserable, its sounds like you had the same problem. I personally think it depends where you start from, if you have a family, if you have a GF and you are happy in general it is easier than if you are alone and grieving. its messed up but try to remember why you are here and try to be thankful for the little things in life, there are people stuck in a prison cell, there are people who are stuck fapping and they don't know why they feel like shit. Remember you are a super human being, greatness is in the mirror, just by being on here you have proven that. Get some one you can talk to about your loss if not about Nofap, but you should not be ashamed of talking to anyone about it - try the most decent person you know. I would advise everyone on here to listen to Jose Silva's Ultra Mind - the guy was a fucking genius. I go for a run and repeat 'I'm unstoppable, I'm unstoppable' I'm unstoppable' many, many times - a tony robbins method.

 

[Bassics]

Hi!
There is already quite a time that has passed since you wrote, but how are you doing now? Did you overcome your feelings of anxiety and depression?
And what about PMO?

 

[Fenix Rising]

Hi!
There is already quite a time that has passed since you wrote, but how are you doing now? Did you overcome your feelings of anxiety and depression?
And what about PMO?

Wow, this is very old post. I'm doing much better, thank you for asking. Anxiety is mostly gone, depression/anhedonia is still a thing but I have it under control. I trained myself to do daily routine that helps me lift up my mood no matter how down I feel on any given day. I did a 6 months hardmode streak in 2017/18. I relapsed unfortunately for a long period in 2018. I started my current hardmode reboot in 1/1/2019. I have to be careful when saying this, but I think that I finally broke out of addiction cycle. I lost all cravings towards PMO.

 

[Fripprog]

Wow, this is very old post. I'm doing much better, thank you for asking. Anxiety is mostly gone, depression/anhedonia is still a thing but I have it under control. I trained myself to do daily routine that helps me lift up my mood no matter how down I feel on any given day. I did a 6 months hardmode streak in 2017/18. I relapsed unfortunately for a long period in 2018. I started my current hardmode reboot in 1/1/2019. I have to be careful when saying this, but I think that I finally broke out of addiction cycle. I lost all cravings towards PMO.

Hi man, im dealing with the same issues that you mentioned on the original post.
Im concious that im in depression and anxiety since two months ago, so i decided to stop PMO, because i think i had been covering my sadness and problems with PMO since 14/15 years old (now im 25 years old, so its 10 years into PMO). Now i had been 35 days without PMO, and im feeling like sh*t in a dark hole, anxiety in the morning, insomnium, horrible nightmares, irritabilty and headaches during the day.
I was sedentary and nowadays I’m doing workout (outdoors running and lift weight) 4 times in a week, and it helps me to clarify the fog in my brain, but just for a short period of time.

I changed my old diet for a healthy diet, and that includes no more sugar and alcohol. Im reading books of healing and spiritual things and im taking herbal meds. It helps but this is the scariest moment of my life, is just to much pain in my mind and im afraid of getting stuck in depression and anxiety for ever.
Do you think I can get out of this hole full of depression and anxiety after 10 years of PMO?
I have a gf and having sex doesnt helps to much, it add more fog to my mind state.

Sorry for my amateur english. I hope you are well, and thanks for yoyr experiencie, it gives me a sence of hope.

 

[Fenix Rising]

I changed my old diet for a healthy diet, and that includes no more sugar and alcohol. Im reading books of healing and spiritual things and im taking herbal meds. It helps but this is the scariest moment of my life, is just to much pain in my mind and im afraid of getting stuck in depression and anxiety for ever.
Do you think I can get out of this hole full of depression and anxiety after 10 years of PMO?
I have a gf and having sex doesnt helps to much, it add more fog to my mind state.

Sorry for my amateur english. I hope you are well, and thanks for yoyr experiencie, it gives me a sence of hope.

Hi, your English is great, probably better than mine, no need to apologize. I totally feel with you. Don't worry, just hold on, things do get better, but recovery takes time. What you are describing are withdrawal symptoms we all went through. Don't let them discourage you. Think of the pain and emotional discomfort as your ticket to a better life. If I could get out of this hole after 25 years of P(MO) so can you. It gets better every day even if you can't notice it yet. Just accept the pain and focus on doing routines that help you get through a day. Here is my routine that helped me endure all the ills the withdrawals bring, maybe you can find something useful for yourself:

0. Diet -> no processed food, 2-3L of water daily, lots of fruits & vegetables, no refined sugar; supplements: large spoon of fish oil daily, vitamin B complex, D3, Zn, Mg, Ca, K
1. Daily aerobic exercise on fresh air -> it can be as little at 30 min brisk walk. You can gradually increase the duration/difficulty over time (I ended up with 70-90 min daily sweetspot)
2. Daily Wim Hof breathing/cold showers method -> It works wonders for anxiety
3. 2 rounds of Sun salutation (surya namaskar) and Pranayama (40 breaths) after waking up
4. Changing your mindset -> I heartily recommend reading Seneca's Letters from a stoic, Marcus Aurelius Meditations, and Epictetus Discourses and Selected Writings and Wayne Dyers' Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao (his interpretation of Tao de Jing)

Here are also some additional tricks that might help you ease anxiety when it hits you-> Wednesday at 11:14 PM

 

[pfaall]

Hello Fenix Rising,
I am curious to know how you are doing and if you have noticed any progress over the last few months.
If you feel to share again that would be appreciated.

Daniel