My dream of a life after being cured

Idk about any of you guys but every time post fap I have the most amazing realization about how porn and masturbation is evil and that I no longer want it. I happen lose this feeling a couple of hours after but I still have a dream. A dream that with enough mental training and sperm retention I can hold on to this enlightenment and never let go. Meditation and focus are my tools, and my past failures are my teachers. Some day I’ll be cured and so will all of you we just gotta hope together.