My experience of nofap

It's my first time writing here but I think it's the perfect time now to write
So since summer 2020 I was in nofap for almost 2 months, it was the start of the September when I relapse for the first time after a logn streak(two months) I was going for the 90 days but I didn't make it
I wasnt panic or feeling guilty but I was in confusion
Now what I am doing why I relapse?
I have made with an excuse that I could not do this anymore I have come to my personal limit
But this was an excuse because the only limit is you your fuckin mind so can cross your limit any time you can my dear friend don't make excuse to relapse
I was keeping fapping without porn ofcourse end I was feeling weird about it so I decided to start with nofap again
After 2 weeks I relapse again because I did not know if I wanted nofap in my life anymore
After this I started nofap again for 2 weeks then I relapse again and again nofap for 2 weeks and then a relapse
I was keeping doing this for almost two months an then I realised that I must choose a side and not to change sides again and again so I choose nofap again and here I am today in day one of nofap for real this time
Because I clear my thoughts for example that masturbating is a normal thing and I like it and in my age is a certain thing to do (16 years old) but nofap is a aspect of my character, nofap is in my own personality its a part for me cause I like to be in disciplines, I like to be more masculine and more like a man, I love to be free and clear of my thoughts
I love nofap and this is my story
Thanks for reading this my friend
Keep hound and never give up to yourself because is the only person that it will give you answers