My Experience with Loneliness

Maybe you could try to ask to join your friends to outside of school events. Hopefully you will find someone, I know it is tough being single. I have been for few years too and a lot of my friends are dating. One of them even dates my ex. Hopefully one day we both find a wife! Till then lets stay strong.

 

seems you are a nice guy and those relationships you claim to have are shallow at best.

 

Being alone isn't that bad. I am not sure for the love & affection part, but quality is more important than quantity when it comes to friendship. I would rather have no friend at all, if all of the friends are the shallow ones. Friends who only know hanging out with you, feasting, drinking, seeking all sorts of excitement, would just waste your time, money and health. When it comes to making friends, having one that truly cares about you and gives you real value, is better than having 100 shallow ones.

Don't get me wrong though, it is good to be nice to everyone you meet, and I believe this will attract someone who is like you, he/she will also be nice to you and cares about you. Don't give up, and wish you will meet some good people soon!

If you need someone to talk to, I am happy to listen.

 

I feel you so much for this, brother. I was in that very same place some years ago.

I wasn't feeling well at all because I was so lonely; not alone, but lonely in a way that no one was in my situation, where I had no experience with girls and everything and everyone around me was about the same topic. And furthermore, some people came to me for advice in relationship matters.

In my case, everything started to go better when I accepted the situation and forced myself to be comfortable in the loneliness. Hold on there brother.

 

Hey hey, that sounds familiar! Me too. I always hated it, I've been the only single person in my friend groups for basically my whole life. I never got the attention that my friends did, probably because of my lack of confidence and my personality being a lot older than my physical body is: I've had "40 at 20 syndrome" all my life. I have absolutely gotten to the point where I actually resent couples pretty strongly, there have been a number of occasions where I feel legit anger building up inside myself when I see PDAs or even just young couples that look happy together. It's especially bad now that one of my only close friends now lives with his girlfriend and he basically has no time to spend with me where she isn't tagging along, so I feel like I'm constantly third-wheeling his dates, basically, and it makes all interaction with one of my closest friends really awkward now.
Take heart: often times people still really enjoy your company and such, they just may not express it well. Feeling like you "can't experience" love an affection... I get that too. I often wonder if people are trying to show me some affection but I just cannot feel it or take it seriously, for trust reasons stemming from experiences similar to those that you mentioned.

I get that, my first two years of college were exactly this. No one ever actually wanted to do anything with me, it was just "oh I know that guy" and similar stuff. I would encourage you to try two things:

• Give it time. Bonding with people is a slow process. There's an old saying that I can't recall the attribution of: "A bond of common suffering is stronger than a bond of common joy." I have lived that: the only close friends I have, I am close with them because we went through an incredibly tough major together. How did the togetherness happen? Stick around with them. Don't retreat into your comfort zone, whatever that might be: your dorm, working in the library, or masturbating on a Saturday night because you're lonely and don't want to take the area-of-effect damage from the romantic relationships of your friends. Go out and do stuff, even if you don't think it will be interesting, as long as it doesn't hurt you. Been there, done that, I promise you it's better to just get out and be around people even if they frustrate you than to isolate yourself and then become resentful.
• Take charge. If they don't invite you over: invite them over! I learned through trying this that I actually like to host. It helps that cooking is one of my hobbies and I love to make a good meal for people, even if it takes me like, several days to prepare everything. That may not be your thing, and there's no shame in that, but anyone can make box brownies and host a study party or a movie night, even if you have to don't have a space to do it in: just the act of being the organizer and bringing something to eat will help! Plus, it'll give you something to talk about. You might find that you "spark their interest" more after that. I know that I was never invited to stuff early on because I was always the weird, awkward kid: people who are now my close friends assumed I was fine / didn't care about them. It was totally the wrong perception of me, but even though it wasn't my fault, it was my responsibility to change that perception.

As for romantic relationships I am not the best source of advice. I've been single for all but about a year of my life spread across two relationships, and they have both be horribly toxic and those women took advantage of my kindness and generosity a lot. Don't let that happen to you, do not submit to emotional abuse. Draw boundaries, separate from people who don't respect you. They aren't worth it, even if she's cute/hot/into you/kinky/feels like your only chance/whatever... it will crash and burn later.

The passage "love thy neighbor as thyself" Mat 22:39 has the implication not only that you need to love other people, but that you need to love yourself just as much. Love is respecting, kind, it does not hold grudges. Don't do that to yourself either.

 

I relate to this, too. In my other post where I said not to isolate yourself, I couldn't summarize what you said any better. It's good to learn how to be happy alone too, but it just takes time, and honestly I don't know how to do it myself, I'm still in the very early stages of learning it.