My experience with the challenge so far...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by ASD_OZ, Nov 7, 2017.

Was my first post understandable ? its important for me to know

  1. Yes

    2 vote(s)
  2. Not so much

    0 vote(s)
  1. ASD_OZ

    ASD_OZ Fapstronaut

    This is my first post on this site.
    I'm 22 years old.
    two years ago, I tried pick-up , and it didn't go well.
    In addition to that , I started getting social anxiety around girls I wanted to start with.

    A year has passed , and I started going to collage for programming.
    I wanted to try again. So I searched for anything that could help me with my social anxiety.
    From that, I found about the benefits when not masturbating for a certain amount of time.
    At first, I was motivated and when I started I felt A-L-I-V-E !
    A month or so has passed. I relapsed and tried again.
    From that time I started realizing what was going thou my mind.

    Since I barely got any good reaction from any girl,my mind usually shifts me about fantasizing on my crush from high-school.
    She was the only one I had good time talking with her.
    its were my lust really begins to shine , for the bad reasons of course.
    I've never met her again since high-school but I can check her social profile online, browsing her images with her soulmate.
    Call me a stalker , but no matter what, you'll always want that good feeling that happened in your life, and for me it was her.

    When I go outside, I'm well aware of my surroundings and I can be a friendly guy with everybody.
    Sadly , my comfort zone doesn't last long , when I see a couple doing what couples are doing.

    So , what happens when I start the challenge again ? motivation ? happiness ?
    No .... the same depression with a bit of lust that grows everyday with the challenge.
    When week passes , I start getting more aware of my "social status" and anger begins to consume me.

    Currently I in the 10th day. All my negative emotions are boiling all together.
    Somehow, I manage to stir myself with my anger.
    Aiming to become a better person on all platforms.
    Finding a job, learning new programming languages, hanging out with friends.

    Its strange to say this ,but I would would rather feel raw emotion of anger rather than feeling nothing at all.

    As long as I'm aware of myself I can keep moving forward.
    And hopefully , I'll forget about my crush and feel good about myself.

    As you have probably realized , I'm a very twisted guy.
    I have lot more to talk about but I feel as I've introduced myself clear enough about me.
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
    ASD_OZ likes this.
  3. One Mic

    One Mic Fapstronaut

    ASD_OZ likes this.

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