My eyes have openedmy

Hello to all,

Today I woke up with morning very sad. I feel like today has honestly opened my eyes. As I was feeling this way and my room being a total mess, I was triggered and wanting to... and I was so angry with myself. I thought to myself, “Are you serious? Your room is a mess, you are sad and you want to do this because it feels good?” I was always skeptical about people who talked so greatly about rebooting and everything. Like what could they possibly go through that is so great?

I realized TODAY that me being in a constant state of pleasure M everyday is just like me being an alcoholic, a drug addict or something of that nature. I am just escaping to not deal with my life that I am not satisfied with. All of this time, I thought there was no harm but in actuality I was just getting myself in a place out of reality... because I DONT LIKE MY REALITY. I am frustrated with my life and that I am not able to accomplish the things that I want! I am SAD and I keep trying to avoid that.