I agree about the complexity of every element involved. Although our feelings can be very clear in our own mind, sometimes it's still hard to translate them into words so that others can understand them clearly, too. And, for PA's who've spent years in their addiction doing everything they can to not feel anything, learning to navigate through all of it (their SO's and their own) can really be challenging. There are times when all the things you feel aren't even clear in your own mind, let alone trying to convey it to someone else. I know it takes a lot of time and work to figure all of this out, but I think you're headed in the right direction.