My Final Thread, Losing control, pmo is ruining my life!

I started Nofap late 2018 when i realized it was a problem after escalating to porn which really did not fit comfortably with me, Futanari, transwoman Gangbang ect. It made feel like shit. I relapse every single time and the longest streak i had was 5 days (im serious). I need some advice because im breaking down. I'm pretty sure i have developed HOCD, i'm really insecure and have anxiety attacks every day. I need help how to stop myself from relapsing, how to stop anxiety attacks and insecurity. I just want to move on with my fucking life, i can't stand this anymore!

 

Do u watch P on a pc or a smartphone?If u watch on a smartphone then install an applock,block all browsers,block playstore so u cant install shit like instagram,block youtube,block the settings app so u cant make a hard reset.The app should have admin rights so u cant uninstall it. Boom now its impossible for u to search for P on a smartphone.I only have whatsapp and soundcloud. For PC people recommend K9 but I never watch P on a PC anyways because its too risky to get caught lol.But maybe if Im alone I should consider installing that.Thats it. Also meditate and do sports,read a book blabla, srsly

 

Oh and make a super complicated random password for the applock,write it on a paper,some random letters and numbers,insert that password,grab the paper,tear it apart and throw it out of the window.boom

 

I wrote this down for me to read everday, and also i will try your advice, thanks.
Nofap:
Do not worry about the bad thoughts and ill advised insecurities. Do not exert yourself with anxieties and PMO and all the crap that comes with it! Know that you are not alone in this journey and many others have had worse stories than you, so why should you be so insecure about it. Just focus on quitting masturbation and forget about all the porn, it does no good for you. Do not waste your life sitting on front of your computer, jerking off to porn whenever you get bored! Instead get rid of the addiction and revert back to normal,Do something more productive like working out or reading a book, replace bad thoughts with good thoughts, normal feelings and behaviour will appear. And then finally you can move on with your life.
Moment of Truth - Gang Starr


Work - Gang starr


Life:
All people expeirence struggle, depression, anxiety, shame, guilt etc. but the key to the chest is not to focus on that shit, but to focus on moving foward and focus on the goal. If you relapse don't freak out, just get back up on your feat because that is what makes you stronger, a man who gets knocked down but gets back up is stronger than a man that does not get knocked down at all. A man in scratched up rusty armor is stronger than a man with shining armor, because shining armor means you have not tested your metal. Just keep on progressing because that is all we can do humanly, the rest is up to god.

 

PC, i will try to install adblock

 

No, im not in a relationship, mostly because all the girls at school are all sluts, and i can not stand being near them. Also if i had a girlfriend at my age my parents will beat the shit out of me (jokes jokes). I used to watch multiple different porn videos when in my prime addiction (at my worst), maybe around 4-5 different tabs open to get as much stimuli as possible. But now i know that fapping to porn is bad and i only relapsed to one video but then i felt like shit later.

 

I notice the less i watch porn, in these three days so far, i'm not having sexualised dreams anymore including wet dreams (and i rarely get wet dreams) but now they are pretty much non existent. I still feel like shit every now and then but once i go from 3 days to 7 days to 14 days to 20 days to 40 days to 80 days to 100 days! i'm going to feel much better, but i do not want to get ahead of myself just yet...