My findings so far.

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by luskos, May 3, 2020.

  1. luskos

    luskos Fapstronaut

    We can argue a bit how not following on nofap guidances almost the whole time i've known about this movement is a success story, but let's pretend that.
    Finding good in bad is good philosophy. A wise man selling Chinese food to Bruce Willis in 5th Element said that. Believe the guy and watch the movie. It's a love story...

    I've started nofap many moons ago, and there were stones on the road that was blocking the way. I cleared a few. My best was 40 days. As in one other great movie in the past, "40 days, 40 nights". When you check how old is this movie, and it had to be just now that this became a movement.

    If you want to know more about those 40 days read here, else skip the parahraph.

    So i've been in love with a girl, and she rejected me. I just finished relieving myself and then we started to chat. She rejected me and the feeling fused with the shame everyone of us knows really well. I felt really bad. Bad, sad and basic. 40 days were passing by so fast that at one point it wasn't a struggle, somehow it became a habit. It's not supposed to be hard believe me, it wasn't. It was a pleasure. Each day was better than before. It was just that i wasn't prepared for the big stone on the road. The little one had to release. In the morning of day 40 i got really nasty wet dream. It was like porn nightmare. It lasted just few seconds. And this devastated me. My brain was against me feeling better. It was wet dream from hell! Somewhere in the process before that however i've started to feel the confidence boost. I was so confident at some point that a very beautiful chick got into submission mode while i was paying a bill on her register. I felt great. I started meditation. I started evening prayers. Keeping a bible in the room works for believers. Somehow it's not very christian to keep a bible in the room and watch weird stuff online. It's also a good read.

    After those 40ies passed i got into old life style.

    Let me tell you about my findings now.

    It's a chemical imbalance in the body. That's all. You and the habits you have, your life style is what is in the way of happiness. First i've started smoking when i was about 18 years old. What i did back then was playing games, study, watch porn...I was just recently introduced to coffee, so the sleepless nights began. Watching porn and playing games all nighters after all nighters. I had plenty of energy. Saying all this i never had any real friends. Even the ones that you can count on the fingers of my one hand did horrible stuff to me. So what? I was sad, very sad. And my lifestyle was compensating the lack of endorphines and serotonin with pumping dopamine in my brain. With years upon years i've started to smoke more, and more. Do nothing but indulge myself in some way, binge watching movies, porn, games. My loneliness led to great suffering. Depressions got stronger and stronger up to two three weeks each. Then drugs came. It was just the so not dangerous marijuana, which by the way is probably good way for relief. It's just my friends decided i need something stronger and more dangerous. Like spice. Which resembles marijuana and that's how my "friends" almost killed me. As literally i was in a situation where i almost drawn myself. There's 3 days from back then that make no sense at all and memories cannot be put in order, blank spots and stuff. Then i got diagnosed with schizophrenia. They either got miss diagnosed me or i am very lucky not to hear voices. Given that i stopped going on therapy and started dosing myself with what they prescribed me. My head is supposed to spin with voices as i am taking half of the bare minimum of medications anyone with that diagnose should take. So i consider it that they got it wrong. I suffer from insomnia as my body is basically walking coffee machine. I lost self control. For whole my life my family was toxic and unsupportive with me. I am 33 years old and still treated like a child. Hearing the words "Don't do it", "Can't do it", "Not for you", "It's not your job" , "Leave it to me", over and over, years upon years crushes you. Makes you sad and broken. You lose the willpower to do anything, and anything lose meaning to do.

    If there's anyone that's unsuportive towards you, cut his wings at the spot. Do not reject him. That way he can crawl again. Deny him! Deny your presence, attention and just anything to this person. Deny his existence if you must!

    Run! Run for your life before you get that far. This is my real advice and the silver lining of the story! Running will keep your body in good shape, endorphin high, serotonin high, mind sharp.

    Living all this time with anxiety thanks to all sorts of people and situations, but mostly bothered by anxiety i get around girls. Not just any. But only girls i like, no matter if they are solid 5 out of 10 or 9.9. Only girls i like. With all the rest tension is kind of bearable...

    What an anxiety really is? Well gentlemen it's a programmable feeling. I had to find that for myself digging the internet and picking information bit by bit. This is my finding. That it's actually a dual feeling. At one end it's anxiety, on the other end is excitement. It's the same damn feeling that would land you a girl and the same that would scare either you or her. It's the reaction that's following that matters. In case you are on anxiety end you probably freeze, or run away. If it's excitement then you push further. You stay sharp. You get your prize. You act as you are supposed to. It's the same feeling but perceived differently and thus giving different results.

    Recently found a sticker of the famous brand No Fear, sticked to the opposite side and this was like revelation. The opposite of Fear On is No Fear. Use it before you approach. acknowledge it like check engine light that fear is ON. And then imagine the switch to No fear mode and approach.

    Build positive habits and start small. Do not be perfectionist and anticipate the downs when they occur. Embrace them and move on.

    Easiest way to cut depression is to force yourself doing something. As long as you do nothing it will stretch. As fast as you get doing something, one after another small stupid chore at home, enjoy some sunlight, walk a gog, make a tea, bathe yourself. Fastest way out of the void is by forcing yourself to start.

    Currently back to nofap as of 4hrs 53 mins. And that is still a success story!
  2. Scarboy

    Scarboy Fapstronaut

    Hey bro , amazing insight, I took my time this morning to read everything and I understand how you feel. Your are strong beyond your wildest imagination and your only 33 years young. The best is yet to come , I love at the uk right now and if u wanna video chat and keep up as an accountability partner that would be nice. Ps stay strong and u got a supporter
  3. PowerfulSRE

    PowerfulSRE Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Great attitude mate, thank you for sharing! Good luck!

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