My first Rejection

That sucks. I should say things like 'The fact that you asked her should make you proud', 'There are more fish in the sea' etc, but I doubt that will help you right now. Stay strong and you'll be okay after some time, although it hurts right now.

 

Congrats on your courage to ask her out. Everyone of us experienced rejection and it always hurts feelings.

If I could advise something from my experience - if you like a girl, try to approach her as soon as possible and ask her out. More time passes on building a crush - makes rejection more painful later.

 

U didnt get rejected lol. U guys gotta stop this. Shes literally in a relationship and too far away. You literally got time and space wrong . U asked at the wrong time and she isnt near by -_- . Raise ur head and do better.

 

When you believe something to be true, your mind focuses on gathering evidence to support that belief. So you see this as proof that you're inferior. You see it as failure rather than she's already in a relationship and lives far away. Even if she was single, distance wasn't a problem, and still rejected you, it just means "no thanks" or "I'm not interested" rather than you seeing it as proof that your belief that you're inferior is true.

You didn't act on your interest in her right away because you feared something bad was going to happen and now you have proof that something bad does happen whenever you go after what you want. You didn't act because you felt shame about your desires and now you have proof that you should be ashamed of yourself.

These negative beliefs are ways for you to throw your hands up in the air and say "See, I told you so. I shouldn't have tried". It's a way for you to shield yourself from the reality that not everything works out the way you want it to in life and not everybody is going to be interested in you. That flawed expectation that everything should work out in your favor and that every person you're interested in will be interested in you is the reason why you hesitated for so long. Because you didn't want to shatter that fantasy world with how things really work in reality.

The more you risk, the more you fail, but also the more you succeed. The less you risk, the less you fail, but also the less you succeed. If you took 100 shots into a basketball hoop, you'll probably get some in... but if you stopped after a few tries, dwelled on the failure, and allow it to define your self worth... then you wouldn't reach success.

Tell me what are the chances of someone you're interested in being interested in you back? A whole human being that has lived a completely different set of life experiences than you. A person that has their own interests and circumstances. What are the chances that they're interested in you just because you were interested in them? I'd say it's pretty slim. Failing to get a basketball into a hoop after 1 shot is a lot different than taking a 100 shots.

Dwelling on one outcome / one person and allowing it to define your self worth isn't very rational. It's hyper sensitive and delusional. It's giving up and immature.

This rejection allows you to explore other opportunities. The only thing wrong with it is you didn't get rejected sooner so that you could move on to find people that are interested and available sooner. Maybe you like unavailable people. So that you don't actually have to be in a relationship or live in reality. Wanting her from a far (crushing on her) seemed like a better idea than acting on your desires for a long time right?

 

I hate it when you're late to the party and girls say that they already have someone else and you know deep inside that you are perfect for them and you can do so much more than any other guy out there. As cliche as it sounds, the right girl is out there for you and you just have to be patient.

 

Just because someone thinks they're perfect for someone else, doesn't mean that they are. Just because someone is willing to do anything and everything for someone doesn't mean they want that.

Think about it. Flip that situation around. If someone you're not interested in started doing anything and everything to try to make you happy, you wouldn't want that. You would want them to calm down. You wouldn't want to feel like you owe them your love just because they do so much for you or they feel like they're perfect for you.

Sometimes other people are just not interested and that's hard to accept for a lot of people. They think it's their fault or they didn't do something right if the other person isn't interested back. So they try to do even more to show how perfect they would be together. They do more to show how happy they can make them.

Some people are just not interested. Rejection is a natural thing. Not everyone is going to like you.