My first vacation alone!!

fadedfidelity · Jun 23, 2019

Hello all! So, I have been a member here since April when I found out about Dday#5. My husband and I are doing well as of right now. He has made some changes for himself and set boundries at work. I am proud of what he has done thus far.
I have made some changes for myself too. I have been more focused on me as an individual, taking care of myself and speaking up about what I want.
My husband typically picks where we go for vacations and what we do. I thought I didn't have much say, and would just go along with it in the past. Now, this time, I am doing what I want to do for a vacation! I have never been away from the kids for more than a day unless it was a vacation for us as a couple. (Which has happened maybe 3 times in 13 years.) My husband travels a lot for his job, so he is away frequently at hotels with peace and quiet while I am home with the kids. So, even though it is work related, he gets time alone without kids frequently. Me, not so much.
His idea of a vacation is going to Florida every year to visit his parents. Florida is nice, but what we do there isn't what I consider a vacation. Basically, I am still watching kids but in a different city--now with in-laws--and still going to wherever everyone else wants to go for dinners, entertainment, etc.
This time, we are taking separate vacations. I am staying home to relax in the peace and quite and do whatever I want, while my husband and the kids are in Florida with his family. I get a whole week to myself!! For the first time in 24 years I am doing what *I* want! I may drive to the lake and hang out in the sun, or just sunbathe on my porch while I sip some drinks. Next time, I am going to a beachfront resort with friends. I just didn't have time to plan for a getaway vacation this time. ;-)
It did take some courage on my part to be this selfish and I did have a brief moment of mom guilt. BUT this is a step in the right direction to finally take care of me and not everyone else. Every mother needs a momcation to regenerate. When momma's happy everyone is happy!
Does anyone else take separate vacations from your spouse? I mean, you can still go places for vacations together AND have additional separate vacations too, right?

Fightyourlowerself · Jun 23, 2019

Good for you, you deserve it!
I wouldn't feel any guilt over this - like you said - When momma's happy everyone is happy!

linalufis · Jul 27, 2021

I think you did the right thing. It would help if you also had a break from everyone and everything. Only I would recommend you to go on vacation with your husband. You can leave the children to their parents and go on vacation together. This will strengthen your relationship and improve it.
It is simply necessary for married couples. My wife and I did precisely that this year. We left our children with my parents and went on vacation to Blue House Skis. We spent a whole week just the two of us. We went skiing, had dinner in restaurants, slept as much as we wanted. As a result, we became closer, some feelings woke up, and we became kinder towards each other.

Psalm27:1my light · Jul 27, 2021

fadedfidelity said: ↑

Hello all! So, I have been a member here since April when I found out about Dday#5. My husband and I are doing well as of right now. He has made some changes for himself and set boundries at work. I am proud of what he has done thus far.
I have made some changes for myself too. I have been more focused on me as an individual, taking care of myself and speaking up about what I want.
My husband typically picks where we go for vacations and what we do. I thought I didn't have much say, and would just go along with it in the past. Now, this time, I am doing what I want to do for a vacation! I have never been away from the kids for more than a day unless it was a vacation for us as a couple. (Which has happened maybe 3 times in 13 years.) My husband travels a lot for his job, so he is away frequently at hotels with peace and quiet while I am home with the kids. So, even though it is work related, he gets time alone without kids frequently. Me, not so much.
His idea of a vacation is going to Florida every year to visit his parents. Florida is nice, but what we do there isn't what I consider a vacation. Basically, I am still watching kids but in a different city--now with in-laws--and still going to wherever everyone else wants to go for dinners, entertainment, etc.
This time, we are taking separate vacations. I am staying home to relax in the peace and quite and do whatever I want, while my husband and the kids are in Florida with his family. I get a whole week to myself!! For the first time in 24 years I am doing what *I* want! I may drive to the lake and hang out in the sun, or just sunbathe on my porch while I sip some drinks. Next time, I am going to a beachfront resort with friends. I just didn't have time to plan for a getaway vacation this time. ;-)
It did take some courage on my part to be this selfish and I did have a brief moment of mom guilt. BUT this is a step in the right direction to finally take care of me and not everyone else. Every mother needs a momcation to regenerate. When momma's happy everyone is happy!
Does anyone else take separate vacations from your spouse? I mean, you can still go places for vacations together AND have additional separate vacations too, right?
Click to expand...

Yup. I have done what I want since first dday. I spent a week in Arizona with girlfriends after 2nd dday. On top of he lost his traveling privileges after first dday. One of my conditions was he never travel without me. He missed out on sone job opportunities but I figured that’s what I needed to feel safe. That was 25 years ago. I have relaxed a bit, on the traveling alone but it’s never very often and usually family related not work related. And shocking, Almost every relapse was work travel. It’s definitely not selfish to take care of yourself. In fact it’s very healthy and needed!! Good for you!

Meshuga · Jul 28, 2021

I'm a stay at home dad. I don't get vacation, but my wife gives me a day off. I usually spend half of it at home anyway, and when I get out I run errands first, but it's alone & then I go somewhere quiet.

I think it's a good practice for the stay at home parent.

sosaluve · Dec 15, 2021

I remember when I had my first vacation alone. I was nineteen and had the greatest time of my life.

Log in

My first vacation alone!!

fadedfidelity Fapstronaut

Fightyourlowerself Fapstronaut

linalufis New Fapstronaut

Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

Meshuga Fapstronaut

sosaluve Fapstronaut

Share This Page