my fucking life

Adam Verner · Apr 18, 2016

so i'm 16 and virgin(nothing abnormal here). the most part of my life i though about myself that i'm some kind of genius. It came across my mind up in first grade. I had all the work done as first, wait except the languages. I was moved to class for "gifted children" which fucked me up in first place, not me but my social skill, i was there with like 4 others guys and that was all.

After all that i went to second grade, when i got accepted to gymnasium. The first year i was bullying a russian guy named ilya, currently we are best friends(or something like that). At gymnasium i didn’t really studied, just enough so i wouldn’t drop out, i used to talk to everyone, i just don’t know how, but i did. Last year when i was 15 i wen’t to IQ test( i got 137) i felt like a king.

Then i leaved gymnasium and went to high school(specialized at industrial automatization), because i hated the princip of gymnasuium-study everyting(and know nothing) AND mainly because electronics is my main hobby.I must mention i’m in relatively good shape too, i’m climber and i Slackline too. The worst Part of my life begun in september when i started smoking weed. That fucked up my life beyond any possible way, thank god i hadn’t any contact on dealers(my friend did all of that). Somehow in December i ended, partialy because one of my friend ended with that and because my parents were suspecting something(or at least i thought that). I recoverd from that. Two months passed by and i caught myself with different addiction, it was masturbation, i’m fighting with it for like two months now, not so succesfully.

overall when i look back it isn’t really THAT bad, i leaved out lot of thing that i don’t know how to form in to words. The what i think is my worst side is some kind of social anxiety and bipolar disorder, at least i belive in that, i cound’t find any other explanation to some of my actions and feelings. Now in the actual state of my life i talk to some people in school, because i would die of boredoom otherwise. When i get home i do nothing, i watch movies and search internet, sometimes when i’m in my „mania“ mood i just do a lot of active shit, like studying everything about mathematics, just because i like it and electrotechnic of curse.

My biggest problem is that i don’t have anyone i can talk to intimatly, because i’m shy. And i have no idea what should i do about it, i’m not that good at english to express it all here unfortunatly, i’m thinkink about writing some bio in my native language, and then leaving it untouched in my drawer.

What do you think? Please bombard me with any question you have i would be glad to answer them all to you.

Czech republic educational system
3-6 kindergarten
7-11 First Grade
12-15 second grade+ gymnasium*
16-19 high school+gymnasium*
20+ college and then work

*gymnasium is 8 year school replacing your second grade and high school

HipPete · Apr 18, 2016

You're still young. First I would just let the mind readjust itself. Like yourself I used to do a lot of toking. It's gotten to the point where I would just use it as a clutch. It felt great to zone out and just watch the days go by without a care in the world. This is totally different for everybody but I was unmotivated and cannabis just intensified that state. There are some people who do well with the plant because of their environment and their motivation state. It also came hand in hand with porn as it would intensify my euphoric state. I think your brain started to wire itself to develop this pleasure seeking habit with cannabis. I would just go cold and just work on building yourself on your hobbies and self-image. This will take some unlearning to do but just as the brain began to wire itself to these behaviors, in time those behaviors can be unlearned and replaced with healthy and self actualizing ones.

Adam Verner · Apr 18, 2016

Lot of people says that i'm young, but i don't feel like it, and i don't think that i actually am. What i'm studying now is what i will be doing for the rest of my life. all the shit i will do to my body will remain there, and i will have to live with it. I got your point and i really appreciate your reply thanks a lot.

incredulo · Apr 18, 2016

Adam Verner said: ↑

so i'm 16 and virgin(nothing abnormal here). the most part of my life i though about myself that i'm some kind of genius. It came across my mind up in first grade. I had all the work done as first, wait except the languages. I was moved to class for "gifted children" which fucked me up in first place, not me but my social skill, i was there with like 4 others guys and that was all.

After all that i went to second grade, when i got accepted to gymnasium. The first year i was bullying a russian guy named ilya, currently we are best friends(or something like that). At gymnasium i didn’t really studied, just enough so i wouldn’t drop out, i used to talk to everyone, i just don’t know how, but i did. Last year when i was 15 i wen’t to IQ test( i got 137) i felt like a king.

Then i leaved gymnasium and went to high school(specialized at industrial automatization), because i hated the princip of gymnasuium-study everyting(and know nothing) AND mainly because electronics is my main hobby.I must mention i’m in relatively good shape too, i’m climber and i Slackline too. The worst Part of my life begun in september when i started smoking weed. That fucked up my life beyond any possible way, thank god i hadn’t any contact on dealers(my friend did all of that). Somehow in December i ended, partialy because one of my friend ended with that and because my parents were suspecting something(or at least i thought that). I recoverd from that. Two months passed by and i caught myself with different addiction, it was masturbation, i’m fighting with it for like two months now, not so succesfully.

overall when i look back it isn’t really THAT bad, i leaved out lot of thing that i don’t know how to form in to words. The what i think is my worst side is some kind of social anxiety and bipolar disorder, at least i belive in that, i cound’t find any other explanation to some of my actions and feelings. Now in the actual state of my life i talk to some people in school, because i would die of boredoom otherwise. When i get home i do nothing, i watch movies and search internet, sometimes when i’m in my „mania“ mood i just do a lot of active shit, like studying everything about mathematics, just because i like it and electrotechnic of curse.

My biggest problem is that i don’t have anyone i can talk to intimatly, because i’m shy. And i have no idea what should i do about it, i’m not that good at english to express it all here unfortunatly, i’m thinkink about writing some bio in my native language, and then leaving it untouched in my drawer.

What do you think? Please bombard me with any question you have i would be glad to answer them all to you.

Czech republic educational system
3-6 kindergarten
7-11 First Grade
12-15 second grade+ gymnasium*
16-19 high school+gymnasium*
20+ college and then work

*gymnasium is 8 year school replacing your second grade and high school
Click to expand...

We all are having problems here and we are trying to help each other. I will be more than happy to communicate with you regularly and perhaps in the long run help each other out. Being shy is even more difficult for you because we humans need to express our feelings and when we do we feel better. I am much older than you are.. much, much, but perhaps if you can find a AP who can help you in moments of difficulty. Don't feel you are the one struggling. There are many of us. We are in this battle all together. Keep in touch and keep writing.

RayB · Apr 20, 2016

It seems to read my bio lol

Everything is so similar except that Italy is so underdeveloped that doesn't identify the gifted children.
For the first 2 years of high school I never studied ( at the second I waked up like at 7:00 am, at 7:10 I taked the bus, at school instead of following the lesson I did my homework and at home i didn't nothing until 2:00 lol).
I changed school from informatics (that I understood I didn't like because i felt like in a jail chained to the computer) to "scientific high school" that learn in a general way to prepare you for University and there i found shitty people. I felt into depression for 1-2 months and now I'm doing the same school but in a private school.

I made the IQ test of Mensa in their website and the result was 139, but the last 5-7 questions of (89-90 of the total) I didn't answer, so I could have something more, but I don't really care about it.

I'm shy, I think to have the Asperger Syndrome, bipolar disorder and social anxiety.

Fortunately I found some good Hobbies and now I'm training (I've never been a sportsman) to travel with my bike through Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Germany and Austria and I'm trying to learn German.

Send me a message if you want, we can discuss about everything and I think that I could understand how do you feel, I really would like to talk and be friend with someone like you

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my fucking life

Adam Verner Fapstronaut

HipPete Fapstronaut

Adam Verner Fapstronaut

incredulo Fapstronaut

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