My gf is addicted to pmo

First up congratulations. I know how hard it is to reach 90 Days and you've done it. Keep going you are doing great.

If your experience is anything like mine then your journey deeper into sobriety will be a journey of self-discovery and self awareness. You'll grow into a much better version of yourself, the man you always hoped you could be. That would be fine if the growth brought you closer to your girlfriend. But it sounds like you are leaving her behind, that she is unwilling to put in the kind of work you are to put her life right.

All you can do is what you are doing: keep trying to talk, keep listening without being defensive, make those conversations ones where she feels safe to open up, be vulnerable, be angry, ...

If she does not want to do that you may have a problem. If she stays hiding from her issues by masturbating to porn while you move on then the relationship may not work long term.

Good luck, keep trying, I hope I am wrong.

 

Just give her enough time. Take things at your own pace. Don't rush.

 

Hi. Don't discount your efforts because you haven't been perfect. You sound like you're doing great.

You are facing a hard reality that I can identify with. As a sick person, I was attracted to other sick people. When I got better, the first thing I wanted was for the other sick people in my life to get better. Unfortunately, you have no control over that. I don't know what "enough time" is for you but that's for you to decide for yourself. There is no right/wrong answer. I can tell you what happened to me. I wanted to fix the other sick people and I had to work on that issue for myself as a secondary issue to working on the PMO. After I did that, I found myself no longer attracted to other sick people.

Peace,
-Quinn

 

People hit points in their lives where they want change but they don't line up at the same time. Show her how you are growing by sticking with your plan. Stay open and honest with her and maybe ask if she notices any differences in you. Given some time with little things and questions she will open up more herself.

 

If the roles were reversed and you were the girl, everyone would be saying you need to make boundaries and protect yourself. I think the key question for you is: Can you be in a relationship with her forever if she continues in her addiciton? If the answer is no, then you need to talk to her and say that this cant be a part of your life forever and if she doesnt make some changes then the relationship will have to end. If she is unwilling to change and you want to live porn free, then being around her will eventually lead you to relapse.

Thats my humble opinion on a very difficult situation. I hope that you can work it out without losing yourself in the battle.