My girlfriend doesnt understand, please help

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by KingB1998, Nov 24, 2019.

Tags:
  1. blunt.ever

    blunt.ever Fapstronaut

    168
    181
    43
    Hi bro, I'm into similar situation, (PIED) but the difference is that girl isn't my girlfriend. The girl who I want to begin my sexual life is a classmate and we are only friends, now. She wants a relationship with me, but always I find many excuses and reasons to reject her. All these because I'm shame to recognize that I can't. She will thinks about me that I'm impotent and probably everybody will find out. I understand you perfectly, I begun nofap one month ago, and I relapsed only twice and I don't feel ready to do... I don't know, I'm very sad, depresive in last time. I hope to resolve it my problem untill in 2020 or I will go at urologist...
     
  2. KingB1998

    KingB1998 Fapstronaut

    13
    15
    3
    I am sorry to hear. I have been to an urologist, but same outcome then all doctors ,(for me). She just feels like shit because she want to love me, but she thinks love is sex for a good part. And i make her feel like shit because she thinks she looks bad, i dont think she is sexy etc
     
    Jeff Boyder likes this.
  3. KingB1998

    KingB1998 Fapstronaut

    13
    15
    3
    She doesnt want a therapist. She hates them because she had one (before i knew her) and she was bad, so she doesnt trust any of them.
     
  4. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

    534
    593
    93
    my apologies. That was meant for another poster.
     
  5. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

    534
    593
    93
    She will likely need another program or therapist to help her see that your issues are about you. Not her. Her reluctance and previous experience with therapists leads me to suspect she might have her own emotional issues she needs help with, but she’ll need to figure that out for herself.
     
  6. Jeff Boyder

    Jeff Boyder Fapstronaut

    168
    1,014
    93
    Damn. You guys are going through some rough shit. Me too. My ex and I broke up about 3 years ago, and I thought she hated me the whole time. I never forgot about her, and neither did I stop loving her. I say one final goodbye to her this year because she was leaving to Oklahoma, and I live in Georgia. I sent her a text, and for the first time in years, she answered. She didn't stop loving me either. We could have had a future together, but we found that out a little too late. I got my calling to the priesthood this year, but we still love each other. I sent her another text tonight, asking her to delete my phone number, and that I would do the same. She hasn't answered back, but I don't think she'll agree to it. She loves me beyond words, and I love her just the same. The sooner I close my heart, the better, or else my life will literally get fucked up. Everyone here struggles with something, and it's usually to the same extent. You see, this addiction fucks up your mind to where you can't even make the right choices. Thankfully, here we all are. We're all on the same boat, and we're all here to do two things. Help, and receive help. I'm with you guys, don't stop fighting. Don't EVER stop fighting
     
    Action and ToniMaunde like this.
  7. Jeff Boyder

    Jeff Boyder Fapstronaut

    168
    1,014
    93
    @If you really loved me you must start over on your wife. Start small, and gradually grow. You can start by making her coffee every morning if you don't already, and wash the dishes, and clean the house frequently for her. Buy her flowers, give her sneaky notes, maybe take her on a date. Remember when you were only dating her? What types of things were you doing to make her love you? Go back to that stage, but stay there forever. Your wife needs to know that you love her more than anything and that you WILL do anything for her. She already knows you love her, but to what extent. Dude, this is the fight of your life, don't you dare take no for an answer now. As for PIED, there are treatments, and I recommend you do heavy weight training, as it's proven to help with this issue, and you'll definitely be more attractive as well. Do whatever it takes, but whatever you do, don't stop fighting until it's over. Don't huddle up in a corner and cry, BE A FUCKING MAN. That's what your wife needs. Can you give it to her, or are you just going to give up on her and let her leave? ARE YOU GOING TO BE THE MAN SHE NEEDS, OR ARE YOU GOING TO LET A REAL MAN TAKE HER????
     
  8. Jeff Boyder

    Jeff Boyder Fapstronaut

    168
    1,014
    93
    And the same goes to you @KingB1998 . What are you going to do about it? Give up and agree to being a girly man, or are you going to take up your true identity as a man and show it proudly? Show her what you're willing to do to fix it. Even men cry, but don't ever complain to her about these things, always stay positive and happy with her. Make her glad to have dated you, and make her want MORE, because she does, trust me, but she doesn't see a reason for it. Give her a reason. Like I said, do good stuff for her, and don't ever stop. Women need as much love now as they did then. Lift heavy weights, and don't stop that, Because as I said, it can help with your dysfunction. You got this, you just CAN'T take NO for an answer. Stay strong my dude, and I say the same thing for everyone here struggling with similar problems
     
    Sulione, KingB1998 and ToniMaunde like this.
  9. ToniMaunde

    ToniMaunde Fapstronaut

    95
    235
    33
    I'm so sorry...
     
    Action and Jeff Boyder like this.
  10. KingB1998

    KingB1998 Fapstronaut

    13
    15
    3

    What do u mean with heavy weights? And thank you!
     
  11. Jeff Boyder

    Jeff Boyder Fapstronaut

    168
    1,014
    93
    Oh I'm sorry I wasn't specific @KingB1998 . I mean, do heavyweight exercises. They're proven to help with PIED. There are a bunch of other meditations that you can take as well. Like I said, don't give up, and don't take no for an answer.
     
  12. primaljade

    primaljade Fapstronaut

    244
    234
    43
    What are you talking about? @BrokenHabit 's advice was short and still valid.

    KingB1998 should have discussed these issues with his girlfriend (before breakup occured), and if she still refuses to even listen, empathize, or consider getting back together, than that's the way it is. There's other women out there, and the right one would at least appreciate honesty if not outright accept flaws.
     
  13. Jeff Boyder

    Jeff Boyder Fapstronaut

    168
    1,014
    93
    Right you are, but if this is the path he will choose, then we should support him rather than judge him sternly
     
  14. treborn

    treborn Fapstronaut

    254
    91
    28
    Believe me, brother, telling a woman that you have a porn addiction is one of the worst things you can do, they hardly understand men and women have different ways of thinking and see porn addiction as something that lowers your "value" of man, and then somehow they feel like they've been betrayed
     
  15. treborn

    treborn Fapstronaut

    254
    91
    28
    sorry if I answer only now but I think you don't have to tell your girlfriend about your porn addiction, I'm sorry but you would only make things worse, as I told another boy pornodependence women hardly understand it, you would lower it to disastrous levels your "value-man" level, she doesn't feel attracted? telling him you have a problem with porn you would make her feel even worse, because they see porn as a kind of betrayal towards him, you might think "hey but I I have erection problems because I watch porn because I find it not very sexy "and I am completely right with you, but she as a woman thinks differently. I do nothing but read also stories of other guys who like you tell their problem to their girls and that these do not understand and get angry, not telling him the situation is better? absolutely not but in my opinion speaking to him of your problem only worse things, but if you want to tell him tell him and he does what you feel like doing
     
  16. Jeff Boyder

    Jeff Boyder Fapstronaut

    168
    1,014
    93
    You are wrong. In a recent study, it was found that women watch more porn than men. But most women will NEVER admit to such a thing, and I applaud to those that do. So they do understand, they just won't show it.
     
  17. treborn

    treborn Fapstronaut

    254
    91
    28
    telling a woman that you're porn addicted is counterproductive, no matter who they watch porn or not
     
    Jeff Boyder likes this.
  18. Jeff Boyder

    Jeff Boyder Fapstronaut

    168
    1,014
    93
    If ya gotta do it, you gotta do it. Lying I never ok, the truth must, and WILL come out eventually. If you're girlfriend doesn't understand that, then talk to her about it, and if she still can't reason with it, then she's not in love with you. Listen, when you love someone, you physically CAN'T be angry at them fo more than three days. It's true, so try using that fact to see the truth.
     
  19. treborn

    treborn Fapstronaut

    254
    91
    28
    with all due respect but from your words i understand that you don't have much experience with women
     
  20. Jeff Boyder

    Jeff Boyder Fapstronaut

    168
    1,014
    93
    I do. You have no idea how much I've suffered from the same mistake over and over again. A woman needs to know who you really are, and what's really inside of you. What, do you think that women only marry a man to have his penis inside of her? They have feelings dude. Or is it that when a person who you truly trust lies to you, that you feel happy because they kept the truth from you? Dude, what the heck? The truth always prevails.
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.

Share This Page