My girlfriend has herpes

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Ghost79, Nov 21, 2019.

  1. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Is herpes in a partner a reason to break the relationship?
    Every time her immune system is lowered she develops visible herpes on her lips, it happens so often I have given up hope to ever kiss her.
    Also the sex is mediocre at best for me because her vagina isn't the best anymore after giving birth to her son from her ex.
     
  2. Tannhauser

    Tannhauser Fapstronaut

    Personally I don't see any illness as a reason for breaking off a relationship that is otherwise loving and fulfilling. "For better or worse, in sickness and health" and all of that. What positives do you see to the relationship? Are there any other negatives?

    Has she been treated medically for the cold sores? If does she have other immune system problems? I would encourage her to talk to a doctor if I were you. It sounds like she frequently has an issue.

    Regarding sex post baby - were you guys doing it before she had the baby with her ex? How do you know it isn't the same? Also - how long has it been since the baby was born? It can take up to a year to return to normal. There are pelvic exercises that she can do to help with this (and other issues) that come from giving birth. Also if things don't feel the same down there for either or both of you, there are positions that can help too. Does she say how the sex is for her?
     
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  3. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Well the positives are that she is also a good friend of mine, we travel together, watch movies, she cooks for me and we walks together wherever we go. Without her I would be lonely.

    Yes she takes tablet for the herpes but she says it is genetical as she got it from her mother and he sister has it too. I rather would have thought she got infected by a previous partner in her life.
    She ussualy gets it 5 days out of a week.

    Her son is 7 years old and before she was my girlfriend I did had sex with a few other women so I can compare them. She told me her vagina was torn after her son was born and that the doctors needed to sew it up again. She claims that it doesn't have effect on the feeling but I beg to differ. She enjoys the sex but for me it isn't as good as the other women I had sex with. It almost feel as if I'm fucking a seasoned farmer with all respect. There are even times I can't come at all despite me having had a pre ejaculation problem. And I must admit, sex is important for me, but now I feel like I'm missing out on enjoyable sex.
     
  4. klaris

    klaris Fapstronaut

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    if you are upset by such nonsense, then you simply do not like it. why continue such a relationship?
     
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  5. TicoFapstronaut

    TicoFapstronaut Fapstronaut

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    Hey man.
    I have herpes. There's pills for that. And if it isn't working it might be because she's taking a bad generic brand.
    Also, if she's on antivirals and she still gets outbreaks that frequently, she needs to understand what's triggering her OBs.
    It either something with her diet or stress and lack of sleep.
    There's tons of foods that trigger outbreaks. If she hasn't taken the time to study this then she should get to that.
    Herpes isn't hereditary. You don't get it through your mother or father's DNA.
    Her mother could've given it to her at the time of birth if she had an OB at that time or if she wasn't taking antivirals.
    She also could've gotten it from a kiss (a date, a stranger, a family member, etc.).

    HSV is not a strong reason to drop this relationship in my opinion. She probably just hasn't taken the time to know her body better and what triggers her. There's always something that's triggering you. And she's got to know why her immune system is so low. Maybe it's lack of exercise, nutrient dense foods, sleep, stress, etc. And yes, maybe she should get a doctor to take a look at her. Has she been tested for other STDs? HIV? Sorry, I have to ask...

    And on the other hand. If sex is just not enjoyable, try what Tannhauser said. And if you still don't like it then I don't think she's the one for you... No point in being with her if you're not enjoying sex. But don't hurt her... Be careful with what you say. You don't want to wreck her emotionally. It's not her fault her vagina was torn during birth.
     
  6. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    She told me herpes on her lips since she was 10 and its according to her the cold to blame. I am sure she doesn't have any STD, because I tested my self several times well after we had unprotected intimacy.
    Well I didn't say sex is not enjoyable with her but I had better with other women in the past and I miss that.
     
  7. klava

    klava Fapstronaut

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    Herpes is a virus. And it's curable. Let your girlfriend see a doctor. She's going to have to get a blood test and get her some medication.
     
  8. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    It is not curable! It stays in your body all your life once you have it. She does take tablets to suppress it but it still sometimes rears it ugly head again especially during winters. And I'm afraid I might get t as well in the future if if continue to kiss her or she me.
     
  9. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    My wife had to have stitches after our child was born, and after a (long) period of healing, sex is just the same as before. only trouble is finding the time and the space to have it with a demanding baby and lack of sleep...
     
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  10. primaljade

    primaljade Fapstronaut

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    False. Herpes is treatable, not curable.

    For me, I ask tough questions on date 1 or 2, and friendzone women with STDs like Herpes/HPV since I do not want to deal with outbreaks, medications, nor explaining it to every future partner before having sex. It's a legit reason to end a sexual relationship, if you end things now it'll simply be emotionally harder since you've already gotten to be bf/gf... live and learn.
     
  11. David stone

    David stone Fapstronaut

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    Leave her alone with her son!
     
  12. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Why?
     
  13. SuperiorMan95

    SuperiorMan95 Fapstronaut

    Dump her bro. Herpes and a kid? Bad combo. Read "The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi". Thank me later.
     
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  14. David stone

    David stone Fapstronaut

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    You really want to destroy his reality?
     
  15. SuperiorMan95

    SuperiorMan95 Fapstronaut

    I mean I'm not sure. It may be painful in the beginning but could save him and her a lot of pain down the line...
     
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  16. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Its kind of hard to dump her because of my situation. I am really unable to get another woman. Because of these shortcomings she probably stays with me because other man have left because of this problem.
    And we have been together for 2 years now.
     
    Richard Anthony likes this.
  17. SuperiorMan95

    SuperiorMan95 Fapstronaut

    Why can't u get another woman? What limitations do u have regarding that?
     
  18. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Women don't like my appearance and i have been on dating sites for years and even tried starting a conversation on women in the streets or in restaurants. I always get rejected despite that I'm actually a nice guy.
     
  19. SuperiorMan95

    SuperiorMan95 Fapstronaut

    Are u familiar with RSD Tyler? He's a chubby balding ginger and he does great with women. He's also a dating coach and I would recommend u check out his Youtube. My next questions would be:

    a) Do you train HARD at the gym and eat CLEAN? Or do you have a mediocre approach to your health?

    b) If you're not very attractive, do you at least have a GREAT (not descent) style? How much time do you invest in your appearance? Are u detail oriented?

    c) How are your social skills? Have u taken the time to read about psychology, philosophy and other works that would help u become a better communicator? How much time have u actually practiced approaching women? It took me years to get into a good flow. Doing a few approaches and then giving up is NOT the way to go.

    d) Are u taking care of your finances? If you have a mediocre job that just pays the bills and/or doesn't bring any excitement to your life then chances are you will be a boring and unstable (financially) prospect for any woman (except mediocre ones).

    Once you found your weak points, you have to work HARD to overcompensate.

    Also remember: Nice guys finish last. It's not about being nice. It's about being strong and then choosing to be kind to those who deserve it.

    You could P.M me if you have any questions. :emoji_muscle:
     
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  20. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Yes I love sports and train. Not only on fitness but I also do boxing and running. I am athletic and have a sexy body under my clothes that women are unfortunately not able to see :(
    It's just my face and hair that puts women off.
    I am not completely bald but my hair is very thin and I don't like to be all bald. So I don't shave it.

    My clothing style isn't bad, not super, just normally.
    I don't look rich externally but I have my finances very good in order and able to buy almost anything I want.

    Bstill no luck for me :( My conclusion is that women are either very judgemental towards man or I am just cursed by someone to never find true love :(
     
    Richard Anthony likes this.

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