My Girlfriend is Visiting ...

[SLAA1]

Today is Day 26. And my girlfriend is coming to visit for at least two nights. There will be sex/intimacy. I’m in a good space. Not sure I want to wake the beast. I wish she wasn’t coming. She knows I’m off porn but ... it’s probably not going to be that bad but if the PIED surfaces, I’m gonna feel like shit even though she could care less. Ugh. We shall see.

 

[ras-tanura]

she could care less.

You said it buddy. We both know PIED isn't something that surfaces out of the blue, the better your mind heals, the sooner it'll be a thing of the past. Don't live life normally just yet... make it to 90 days, and if you can, try making the intimacy all about her for now.

 

[SLAA1]

Thanks so much my friend - this is enormously helpful. I always take care of her. She’s good and I feel intimacy growing. I’m in denial as per how much this stuff affects me. Yes: I get to 90 and ... keep going!

 

[SLAA1]

You said this:

He said this:

I only quoted this part, but everything @ras-tanura said is correct.

I wanted to drive the point home on the "...sex/intimacy..." piece. Forget about sex. Focus solely on intimacy. If you do that correctly, the intimacy will drive the sex. That's where you want to be. But if you can, focus solely on intimacy (not the same thing as sex), and abstain for the 90 days, I assure you that you will be a much better place in the endgame than you will if you do have sex. But it's not the end of the world if you do. Make sense?

 

[SLAA1]

Yes, it does make sense. What happened was she satisfiedme immediately so I reciprocated but w no insertion. But what’s going on this weekend is that we’re having s lot of fun. It feels good. We will have some intimacy later today then I won’t see her for at least two weeks. Marching toward 90. Thank you! Love this site!!