My girlfriend spent 4 days with me. When she left, I fapped.

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by GettingBetter, Jan 8, 2018.

  1. GettingBetter

    GettingBetter Fapstronaut

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    We had a wonderful time together. We had amazing sex about 12 times over 4 days and even watched each other fap to one another. The Sexual chemistry is hot!

    We been dating for 1.5 years and are madly in love with each other.

    However, today I fapped to porn.

    Here is what triggered me:
    1. All alone at home (parents away on vacation)
    2. Wanted to just "see" a porn video for "fun".

    Before I knew it, I had fapped and was left feeling ashamed and depressed.

    Prior to this relapse, I had gone 3 weeks without porn. As expected, I felt much stronger and more confident as a Man.

    The relapse makes me feel bad. But I am sharing this story so that you will not make the same mistake that I made.

    If you feel like relapsing, phone your best friend and talk about stupid stuff, or watch a self help documentary on Youtube.

    DO NOT OPEN ANY PORN VIDEOS!!!!
    It is a slippery slope thats guaranteed to make you feel miserable after.

    Lets max out,
     
    Hitto, Andreid, TheBigBadWolf and 4 others like this.
  2. Little kitty

    Little kitty Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man. . .
     
    pezzer likes this.
  3. Inspire360

    Inspire360 Fapstronaut

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    No worry's man, things will get better. I'm sure u can fight the urge with doing some thing boring. Like reading a book ;p
     
  4. susie’s dad

    susie’s dad Fapstronaut

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    thanks for the advice man, cheers! i hope you find your footing again.
     
  5. GettingBetter

    GettingBetter Fapstronaut

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    Brothers, I did it again. Twice today! once as soon as I woke up (because I had a dream that I was fapping) and now. I found that my biggest trigger is being alone at home. I feel that no one is watching so why not. I also try to reason that everyone does it so it must be okay. But nothing compares to the overwhelming feeling of shame and guilt I feel afterwards. In my last streak of 18 days, before my gf arrived, whenever I had the urge, I would press the emergency" button on the app and that would help bring me perspective. But ever since I actually watched porn, my brain seems to ignore those messages and wants me to go straight for the dopamine rush. I am new to this site and I believe in the power of the community. Are there any quick posts that you would recommend I read straight away? Thank you
     
  6. susie’s dad

    susie’s dad Fapstronaut

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    hello man, i understand how you feel about replapsing especially after going on a clean slate for so long but you have to condition your mind to saying “no” you won’t fap.
    the mind is the biggest deceiver, you have the power over it not it over you. what you feed it is what it would consume.
    a lot of people are “doing it” doesn’t make it right in anyway, that mentality has to be suppressed because the more you think about it that way, the more free will you will give yourself.
    i used to have a similar problem about staying alone so i could watch porn & fap but i noticed it was a problem so i looked for a way to engage myself in my idle times.
    you could have a cold bath in times of an urge, listen to your favorite music, read books even exercising just something to get your mind of it.
    the truth is the busier you get, the lesser you’d like fapping.
    less i forget, avoid being the last person to go to bed this could trip you into pmo. have a positive mentality also, this would help you get through.
     
    GettingBetter likes this.
  7. Single Palm Change

    Single Palm Change Fapstronaut

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    @GettingBetter You obviously don't know about the chaser effect! When you relapse, have orgasms/wet dream or have sex, the urges increase afterwards. Even if just fantasize for a moment, there will be a chaser effect. So don't fantasize and be very vigilant after sex and relapses.

    Read the Getting Started guide on PDF.
    Yourbrainonporn.com has a lot of info, so study there.

    Studying the knowledge base everyday and educating yourself about porn addiction and masterbation addiction, you will have a better shot at rebooting.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2018
  8. Single Palm Change

    Single Palm Change Fapstronaut

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    You have the wrong way of seeing it. You should not suppress anything. That creates pressure and stress and eventually you will crack. Supressing also implies that you actually want to do it, so study yourself, educate yourself and change your viewpoint.
    Simply know that it is wrong. Know why you are abstaining and remind yourself. This way you will not have to supress anything and it will be less stressful for you.
    The other advice you gave is good.
     
    susie’s dad likes this.
  9. susie’s dad

    susie’s dad Fapstronaut

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  10. GettingBetter

    GettingBetter Fapstronaut

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    thank you so much for the advice brother. This is what community is all about.
     
    susie’s dad likes this.
  11. supjerkoff

    supjerkoff Fapstronaut

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    fuck your woman, don't fap over her
     
  12. How did you get a gf :p
     
  13. Seems like one of your biggest triggers is being home alone, so until you're stronger and have a bigger streak under your belt, maybe don't put yourself in that position? Just go somewhere, anywhere where there are people. I used to do that a lot, just to stop myself from being able to be home alone if I knew I would be tempted that day. Take your laptop, if you have one, down to a coffee shop or the park or something. Or go to a library and read, or window shop or go for a jog or to the park or hang out with a friend. Do whatever you want to do at home, but just do it somewhere else.
     

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