My entire life has been on hard mode. I'm 28yrs old and a virgin, haven't had a GF in 8yrs and haven't had any friends in 4 yrs. I've overcome alcoholism, dependency on weed, and quit smoking cigarettes. I have self-inflicted scars and cigarette burns all over my leg, years worth of it. Have been in the psych ward 2 times in my life, rehabs, all that and came out on the other side. Being a virgin, with mental issues, and my history, I pretty much assume no girl would ever want anything to do with me. You wouldn't know any of this if you met me. I work in retail management, get along with my coworkers and customers alike, but I'm so empty inside. I'm so much better than I used to be, but I'm still so fucking lonely. I had never given much thought to my porn use, but have decided to try and quit to see what happens. This will definitely be the hardest addiction I've ever quit. I'm on day 2 right now after a relapse where I went a week. Trying to abstain has made me realize how much of a crutch it really is. Having no one to talk about this with makes it even more difficult. Luckily I have a great family, but they're religious and I'm not looking for a Jesus fix. I've started exercising again as well, but my depression and loneliness are always there, weighing me down. I just want a real connection with someone, preferably romantic, but I don't ever see that happening for me. At least not anytime soon. Thanks for letting me vent, I'm still new to this community and am still skeptical. I don't do communities very well.