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My heads fucked , disconnected

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Upwards2020, Aug 21, 2020.

  1. Aug 21, 2020 #1
    Upwards2020

    Upwards2020 Fapstronaut

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    Im so disconnected from people, feelings etc etc .

    And has been filled with over consumption of porn.

    Life is completely bland vanilla and lost all meaning.

    I think by living this way you basically kill your sex drive .

    Porn has killed my sex drive and imagination. Tried so many things in real life and in my own head and porn, that everything is vanilla and dull.

    Started watching other fucked up stuff. Bit it's boring now too.

    What a load of shit
    How can I blast through life's experiences via pixels to the point real life has become completely disconnected .

    Arousal is basically all the same . Nothing even in my imagination really gives me that holy fuck that's hot anymore . Seen it all done it all .

    Porn has ruined me
     
    Upwards2020, Aug 21, 2020
    Upwards2020, Aug 21, 2020
    #1
  2. Aug 22, 2020 #2
    newstart002

    newstart002 Fapstronaut

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    It's a common experience to end up like the way you describe.

    Our compulsive actions in regards to porn and masturbation mean we become desensitized.

    Another factor is overuse Of The internet, which also provokes feelings of discontent, frustration and emptiness.

    Are you currently on a nofap streak? Are you trying to correct your behaviour? Is your life unfulfilled in other areas too?
     
    newstart002, Aug 22, 2020
    newstart002, Aug 22, 2020
    #2
    Upwards2020 likes this.
  3. Aug 22, 2020 #3
    Korrnykid

    Korrnykid New Fapstronaut

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    Yep this is exactly how I feel as of now, I became addicted to PMO around 12 to age 28 then quit for 4 years. The blah of life actually goes away believe it or not. But it’s important to not only combat the emptiness of emotion and be proactive in putting your self in emotional situation and interaction with HEALTHY humans psychologically and learn from them and time will pass and they along with abstaining will help build a good psyche. It is a MUST to fight HARD against thoughts and behavior that lead to relapse and we know our selves better then anyone so we know our triggers. Don’t give up!!!

    For a year now I’ve been relapsing over and over again and I am seeing my brain re wire back to viewing the world as meaningless. This has lit a fire under my ass to try even HARDER!!! We can’t lose what we worked so hard for !!!
     
    Korrnykid, Aug 22, 2020
    Korrnykid, Aug 22, 2020
    #3
    Upwards2020 likes this.
  4. Aug 24, 2020 #4
    Upwards2020

    Upwards2020 Fapstronaut

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    Yes and no

    Was in a streak , gave in and have been struggling to get back on the wagon. But yea life is unfulfilling and complicated

    One step at a time until there is hopefully some light in the clearing..really just need to move away from compulsive behaviours and you might just get there faster . Or yet again not at all.

    You shouldn't necessarily stop one thing in the belief another will take its place. You should stop because everything in your gut tells you to. But we're just a pack of animals .

    Guess I have trouble seeing anything for myself and have long since lost myself,
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2020
    Upwards2020, Aug 24, 2020
    Upwards2020, Aug 24, 2020
    #4
    newstart002 likes this.
  5. Aug 24, 2020 #5
    CC1234

    CC1234 Fapstronaut

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    Its crazy how much you can relate to the story posted on the forum.

    Everything you described I feel at one point also, especially the vanilla part, life its just existence and nothing more right now due to Porn and Masturbation desensitising everything else.

    I've just started a fresh today, so if your starting today also then let me know, we can keep one another accountable and also discuss on here how we're both getting on daily.
     
    CC1234, Aug 24, 2020
    CC1234, Aug 24, 2020
    #5
  6. Aug 24, 2020 #6
    newstart002

    newstart002 Fapstronaut

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    I've been in the same mindset as that for a long time too. I've only just started to get a grip of my situation and it's a slow process.

    We have no easy road out of all this - it's going to take a lot of work and dedication. But we don't have much of a choice if we want to progress and get to somewhere positive.

    I don't really think of an alternative to PMO. I just try to steer clear of it and then, as my head improves I will look for other activities that will help me. I'm only early on this current streak so there's no point in going too detailed yet.
     
    newstart002, Aug 24, 2020
    newstart002, Aug 24, 2020
    #6
  7. Aug 25, 2020 #7
    Upwards2020

    Upwards2020 Fapstronaut

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    Yea it feels like you've pretty much rotted your brain.

    I'm going to try and stop again today . And hopefully clear my head of it all , clearer healthier more productive and disciplined thoughts .

    Get fed up with the same old boring patterns which .

    Would like to clear my head and have a clearer field of vision.

    No more of this lost bullshit .just productive focus. I'm focusing on saving money over the next year and recentering my shotty brain circuitry with some discipline and hopefully come out if this with a clearer head and a fatter pocket . No more easy pickings and lack luster
     
    Upwards2020, Aug 25, 2020
    Upwards2020, Aug 25, 2020
    #7

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