My height is making me go insane. Please help.

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by DaSaltyPancake, Apr 15, 2020.

  1. DaSaltyPancake

    DaSaltyPancake Fapstronaut

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    So, as a preface, I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I may not admit it in normal conversation, but deep down I know that I am. I stand at 5'9.5" in the morning, and it decreases throughout the day by roughly a half an inch. Admittedly, I know that this is not a bad height per se, being the average in the United States, but it drives me INSANE. I wear shoes constantly to cope, I have specific locations throughout my house to check my height throughout the day, I constantly research the impact of height on perception--career or otherwise--, and I feel worthless in the eyes of women. It just bothers me so much that if a woman had an opportunity to create the ideal man, it would not be me.

    I think that this obsession is due to the fact that the only two girls who I've been interested in specifically rejected me for my height. In fact, my girlfriend cheated on me for a 6'0" soccer player and cited height as the reason. Another reason why this bothers me is that I stick out like a sore thumb with looking at my ancestry. My father is 6'2", my paternal grandfather is 5'11", my maternal grandfather was 6'5", and my uncle is 6'4". I'm just confused about why I didn't seem to get their genes. MY 13-YEAR-OLD SISTER HAS LARGER HANDS THAN I DO.

    Now, I understand that this behavior is incredibly illogical. I'm not even unattractive. In the least douchey way possible, I've even been offered spots in Abercrombie modeling on three separate occasions by three different people. In the past, people have even stopped me to tell me that I look like Chris Evans multiple times per day. While I don't agree with this assertion, it proves a point: I'm being very illogical.

    Please, short kings, enlighten me with your coping skills, because I'm in great need of them. I can't convince myself that it isn't a big deal, so I'll turn to you guys. PLEASE HELP.
     
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  2. Arbiter007

    Arbiter007 Fapstronaut

    First of all, thanks for being brave and coming out with your insecurities.

    Second, I am also 5'9.5" roughly, but I typically do have to either pick between saying 5'9" and 5'10". So, I just round up and say I am 5'10" because girls obviously care more about height than we do. And I typically just leave it at that and don't care anymore. They can't actually tell how tall you are when you are giving numbers that close to each other. If anything, they are sensing your insecurity with yourself about your height and that is what is turning them off in all actuality, not that you are average male height.

    Women are attracted to confidence. Period.

    The fact may be that the one girlfriend "said" she left you because another guy was two inches taller lol. But in all actuality she was probably just making an excuse and there may very have been a connection with how she felt your insecurity also. Please let me know if this feels like I am hitting the nail on the head or completely in left field.

    I honestly am attracted to tall girls, and I don't really care about what other people think if I were seen with a girl the same height as me or an inch or two taller. The only problem with this is that when the girl starts becoming taller than you, she starts feeling insecure with how tall she is and you can't really control how she feels if she chooses that height is that important to her. I read from Science Daily that statistics show that only 14% of men care about being taller. But 49% of women want the man to be taller. Science Daily Height Article Therefore, I feel worse for men who are less than average in height because women typically are making that choice to abstain from being with a shorter guy. Most studies vary in the percentages, so it is hard to actually get the best factual data. And these figures can vary widely based on your age bracket. Typically from what I have seen the younger the age bracket the more both men and women care (college age: 37% of males want to be taller, 55% of females want to be shorter; high school: probably like 50% of males want to be taller, 90% of females want to be shorter). Yes I know, stupid right? The older age brackets just don't care as much anymore, they gave up on such nonsense as they matured.

    You are just 17 so my man you could be thinking about more important things for your long term than such stuff as this. I understand though, when I was your age I had anxieties about stupid stuff. But now that I don't care anymore, I get girls having feelings towards me more. They feel your confidence, and it turns them on. Stop with PMO, let yourself get pure, and don't worry soo much about stupid stuff. You'll do great!
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2020
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  3. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

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    Lul, if you are a player, your height can't stop you. (Obviously, you need to look great, face and clothes, the whole package), a buddy of mine is just 5'5" something and gets a lot of attention cause he just has this magic I can't define.

    Your insecurities are your own battles, as long as you let someone else say whether or not you are worthy enough, you will always be miserable.
     
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  4. Arbiter007

    Arbiter007 Fapstronaut

    Exactly, if you have it and know what works you're all set.
     
  5. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

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    Also if you are trolling, then go seek mental health as soon as possible. (I assume that's not the case here.)
     
  6. Arbiter007

    Arbiter007 Fapstronaut

    Pretty sure this is legit. I even still get feelings of insecurity about stupid stuff like how big my feet are, the size of my nose, and my body size overall.
     
  7. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

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    Well, I just saw his other threads, and I am sure they follow the usual troll topics and style. Look for yourself... If you have been around here long enough, you will also see the similarity.

    I hope I am wrong though.
     
  8. DaSaltyPancake

    DaSaltyPancake Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, bro. I appreciate it.
     
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  9. Arbiter007

    Arbiter007 Fapstronaut

    Pretty sure this is one of those irrational fears that a teenager can have and he is legitimately trying to reach out for consolation. Let's not assume that he is lying, because that can actually bring a person to feeling more depressed. You don't ever assume someone struggling with suicide is trolling. I think it a bad idea to do it here as well.

    I had a ton of irrational fears throughout elementary, middle school, and high school. Even into college. But I didn't have a way to reach out that I knew off. So, this is a blessing for the latest generations.
     
  10. DaSaltyPancake

    DaSaltyPancake Fapstronaut

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    I'm not trolling. I swear. I'm just an irrational teenager.
     
    Arbiter007 likes this.
  11. Arbiter007

    Arbiter007 Fapstronaut

    Yeah, you're welcome.

    I just want to encourage you to feel like this is a safe place to share your story.

    To also encourage you, I want to share my story with you:
    My Story
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2020
  12. brilliantidiot

    brilliantidiot Fapstronaut

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    Take up weightlifting and get buff. Then even if some people are taller then you you can still kick all their asses.
     
  13. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    If I manage to become attractive to girls with my stupid 5'7, you don't really have a problem mate.
     
  14. Mr.Ron

    Mr.Ron Fapstronaut

    I used to struggle with self criticism and comparing myself to others and it lead me down a dark road for a long time. The feeling i wasnt enough and others were better is not a good place to be in turning on yourself. The way out i learned was this " YOUR ONE OF A KIND" all your gifts , faults , strengths and weakness are what make you YOU not a face in the crowd. There all put together to make you YOU ! ONE OF A KIND . NOT A ROBOT LIKE THE MEDIA WANTS YOU T0 BE
     
  15. I'm 5'4" and 20 years old. I've learned to stop letting my height control me. It's all a mindset. Girls don't look at height. They look at personality. They are very communication based beings. Unlike guys who only tend to put their focus on looks. Stop taking your height and remove all reminders that bring up those insecurities. Find yourself someone who loves you for who you are and not how fucking tall you are.

    Hell look at Kevin Hart he too is 5'4" and look at how easily we forget about that when he's up in that stage making us laugh. Look at prince, He was 5'2" and he had girls chasing after him. These two people never let their height change their destination in life. They embraced it and now the whole world knows their names.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2020
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