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My history. My problems.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by <Dreamer>, May 8, 2021.

  1. <Dreamer>

    <Dreamer> Fapstronaut

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    Hello.

    I'm 22 years old. I've always liked being dominated by women. However, for a few years now I started watching femdom themed porn. Since that time, I can't masturbate to other movies anymore. It has to be pegging / foot fetish / sissy / transwoman / cuckold and other femdom porns. I can't orgasm with "normal" porn. I also started changing into women's clothes, it started to excite me. I fantasized about being sissy. I even tried to masturbate anally. More than sex with a girl, I am excited by the vision of licking feet and shoes. Instead of wanting sex with a woman, I want to be her slave. My mind was turned.

    I feel like all these femdom vibes are taking my power. I want to overcome porn and femdom addiction. He wants to be a normal man who is aroused by sex with a woman, not a dildo in his anus and dressing up his stockings. I have tried to break with it many times, but I keep coming back to it. I was thinking to start by watching traditional non-femdom porn. What advice do you have, ways to break free from these snares forever?

    What should I do?
     
    +TenPercent and TimeToQuitNow like this.
  2. growpotatoes

    growpotatoes Fapstronaut

    It breaks my heart how many men are succumbing to this.
    Yes, first step in my opinion would be to try rewiring to vanilla porn. Use amateur, genuine couple videos, where neither the guy nor the girl gets dominated. You want to get aroused again by the idea of shared pleasure and intimacy. It's easier if you have positive past experiences with a girl, but you didn't mention that. I can tell you, the memories of the few girls I've been with have helped me not drown into the deep waters of porn-induced fantasies.
     
    virtuscb, Mr Rn and <Dreamer> like this.
  3. SlimTeleGuy

    SlimTeleGuy Fapstronaut

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    Best of luck to you @<Dreamer> you are not alone in this fight. You can leave all this stuff behind you for sure.
     
  4. elvagoazul

    elvagoazul Fapstronaut

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    Hi <Dreamer>

    I was also into femdom. It is a very deep addiction, and it disrrupts several aspects of your life. It destroys your social skills and self steem. In addition, interacting with real women gets harder. It is very unhealthy.

    If you really want to get rid of that addiction you have to do nofap in hard mode. It means no Porn, no masturbation (including EDGING), and no orgasms. I'm not gonna lie to you it will be difficult, we need to put more effort than people who don't have fetishes. But it is the best for your life.

    The first step is acknowledging this addiction is harming your life. You alrready said you want to exit this, but is is also important to understant why. Next, you have to change your habits. You seem to watch a lot of stuff, delete all your accounts related to femdom, erase all the videos, links, all kind of material you store in your devices. And finally try to focus in other activities rather than the sexual ones. I know you are concerning if you will go back to enjoy normal desires. But it will not happen overnight, your brain needs to heal and recover.

    You can do this. If you have more questions I will be glad to answer, or make a post here there is a great supportive community.
    PD Sorry if I did mistakes, English is not my first language
     
    XMedz, <Dreamer>, +TenPercent and 2 others like this.
  5. Marigny

    Marigny Fapstronaut

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    Hy <Dreamer>,

    Last year, I was exactly like you
    I was 22 years old, with exactly the same problem (except for transwoman I never watch porn like it)

    I wrote on mobile phone so I can’t see my counter but last time I PMO for femdom stuff was last september.

    I literally get away from the hell of female domination.
    I think I rebuild my dignity and my honor.
    I still have urges for femdom stuff, but there are few, short and haven’t as power on me as before.

    More and more often, I feel moments of desire for real sex. Sometimes now the desire for normal sex come in my head like never before, without my being polluted by fetishes.


    I want to show you that this is POSSIBLE
    It can take days, weeks, months, years, but never give up the fight.


    Personally, from my own experience, I won’t advise you to try to focus on vanilla porn, or try fantasying on other things... it will always get you to femdom stuff again
    I tried many things like this, nothing worked at the exception of nofap challenge in hard mode

    If you want to learn more about my journey, don’t hesitate to ask questions
     
    StopForever, Mr Rn, <Dreamer> and 3 others like this.
  6. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    I have the same fetish. To be honest I don't think it'll ever go away completely. The carvings are in your brain and can be activated at any moment. However, I have noticed with myself that the longer my streaks get, the more "vanilla" fantasies come to mind. Try going a while without PMO and see if that happens to you.
     
    <Dreamer> and +TenPercent like this.
  7. growpotatoes

    growpotatoes Fapstronaut

    And if you break your streak, break it to vanilla of course...
     
    TimeToQuitNow and <Dreamer> like this.
  8. Nan0nymous

    Nan0nymous Fapstronaut

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    Watched some transwoman femdom but it felt too diagusting and then I found futanari. Been hooked on it ever since.
    Best of luck man, this is a tough one but it's necessary to prove yourself that YOU are the man.
     
    <Dreamer> likes this.
  9. <Dreamer>

    <Dreamer> Fapstronaut

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    Thank you all for your advice. It's really helpful to hear that many of you have similar problems. I will try vanilia porn to put off fetishes. Overall, I found that the more I have to do on a given day, the less I feel like watching femdom porn. Tomorrow I am going to my first martial arts class, I hope it will help me fight addiction.
     
    Future Chad likes this.
  10. <Dreamer>

    <Dreamer> Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your advice. I am now in a relationship with a girl, but our sex life is practically femdom-only, we don't have almost any ordinary sex. I would like to change it, but when I am excited I am very submissive, then she does what I want with me.
     
  11. <Dreamer>

    <Dreamer> Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your advice and your story. What is your way when the urge to porn comes to you? How do you fight it?
     
  12. Marigny

    Marigny Fapstronaut

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    I don't worry too much, I know from my own experience that it won't work and that you will realize that only total abstinence can reset your brain.
    Too bad because you will waste your time

    To cure great evils, great means are required
     
    <Dreamer> likes this.
  13. Marigny

    Marigny Fapstronaut

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    I don’t know what are your beliefs.
    I’m catholic so what I use to stay pure is what we call « spiritual weapon » : daily rosary, fasting every weeks, discernment, keeping Bible verses in mind during urges (I have a list of 30 verses if you want), going to mass, etc..

    In one word it began with the fact of becoming aware I needed to ask God for his help

    I cannot recommend this enough, at least the rosaries, even to non-believers. It gives you so much strength in adversity
     
    <Dreamer> likes this.
  14. <Dreamer>

    <Dreamer> Fapstronaut

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    I was a Catholic when I was younger but now I am very far away from him. I even stopped believing that he existed. I have met many bad people in this church environment, so I left him. I found that we can do good without being covered by god. Of course I respect your opinion and your faith. Thanks for your messages. If you can please send me these verses, maybe I can find help in them.
     
    Marigny likes this.
  15. Marigny

    Marigny Fapstronaut

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    Man, what your girlfriend want ?
    I mean, if you want to stop it, is she gonna help you in this fight or not ?
     
  16. Marigny

    Marigny Fapstronaut

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    I’m so sorry that people behavior resulted in this

    I send you the verses by message
     
  17. Nan0nymous

    Nan0nymous Fapstronaut

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    Can you send me too? Would be very thankful
     
  18. Marigny

    Marigny Fapstronaut

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    yes of course
    do not hesitate to ask !
     
    Nan0nymous likes this.
  19. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Yes. But relapsing with no porn is still better than vanilla porn. But if you do you visuals, honestly just use a picture of a woman. Vanilla porn is not too far off from cuckoldry. You are watching another man have sex with a woman. But I agree, it is still better than femdom
     
  20. growpotatoes

    growpotatoes Fapstronaut

    I agree. Imagine dating a real girl you like.
    That being said, I'm in a bad position to give advice, I recently relapsed on sissy MO in the worst way possible. Might talk about it one day. TOCD is back and very strong. Really wish I had zero libido.
     
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.

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