My husband is addicted to porn.

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by Merlana, May 3, 2018.

  1. Merlana

    Merlana New Fapstronaut

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    Hello,
    I’m new here. My husband and I have been married less than 2 years. His is 54 years and I’m 47 years old. After 2 month we pretty much we stop having sex. So I started wondering what is going on, for our age we both have high sex drive. Then I found out about his addition. He even mastrubate at work. First I thought it’s a guy thing everyone does that and I offered to watch together, but that didn’t help. I feel depressed, I feel unwanted and I’m really having hard time to deal with it. I’m not ugly or fat. I always look good and taking care of myself. I do love him very much and I’m very attracted to him. But how can I live the rest of my life with no intimacy?? He won’t go to therapy. Please advise..
     
  2. Welcome - so glad you're here.

    If you haven't already come across them, please search for these users. You'll find their experience and support invaluable.

    @Numb
    @AnonymousAnnaXOXO
    @Kenzi
    @Jagliana
    @GhostWriter

    This is the link to the section of the site where partners of porn addicts support each other. Perhaps also start a thread there. The users I mentioned earlier often post in this section, and you can tap into resources from there quite quickly.

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?forums/significant-other-journals.107/

    Sorry you're going through a lot just now.

    "Everything will be alright in the end... If everything's not alright, it's not yet the end."

    Take care, and please reach out to the community if you need something.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Oops, my sincere apologies, I just noticed that you have already posted in exactly the correct section!!!! :)
     
  4. TryingToHeal

    TryingToHeal Fapstronaut

    Welcome! Many of us here know how you feel.
    So, I just wanted to point out for other people reading this because I see this kind of thing mentioned a lot... even if a SO was ugly and fat, the PA's addiction would be on them and only them. A SO and how hot they are does not determine if a PA has an addiction to porn. The PA could be in a relationship with a person that is in the P they watch and still have a PA. I know it still feels crappy, I'm in the same situation, but I just wanted to note that. This situation could happen to any SO, no matter what they look like.
     
  5. He wants to want you but he’s an addict. So sry you’re going through this as are the most of us here. But I’m glad you found this site. There is a lot of information and resources available here. Learn as much as you can and take care of yourself! It’s the most important thing you can do! Love you! Get a massage, nails done, go shopping....as long as your
    Doing something to love on yourself!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. Chudmeister

    Chudmeister Fapstronaut

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    As a recovering addict myself, he does find you desirable but the addiction is strong. The first step for him is to realize that he has a problem. He has to learn to do steps to keep himself from it. I myself have put an app lock on my phone and a disable incognito mode on my phone. He has to want to change, nobody can make him. I love my wife enough to want it. I'm getting better but I myself can't ever feel like I'm ok.
     
  7. Love_rules50

    Love_rules50 Fapstronaut

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    Please understand that his PA has nothing to do with you!!! You are more than enough. I have read articles written by psychologists who treated PA’s whose SO’s were models!! When I found out about my fiance’s PA, I felt the same as you... so rejected and unworthy. But let me tell you that his love for you and his addiction are entirely separate things. He likely had a problem way before you met each other, and his a habit he has brought into the relationship. The problem is not with you. Try and look at it as a drug addiction. He needs help and you need your own help. Find someone to talk to about it. Talk to us, talk to a qualified sex addiction psychologist, talk to someone at church. You are not alone. Have you spoken to him about how this makes you feel? You shouldn’t have to “live” with it.
     

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