I haven't actually posted or written here much since I've joined the group some 2 to 3 months ago. It's been on my mind to begin journaling as I found that it had helped me earlier this year where I had managed an extended period free of the filth (By His grace). I had not made much progress over the past 2 to 3 months. I would be free for 6 to 8 days before I went back to the gutter. In fact, I went ahead and committed the act yesterday. Today marks Day 0 for me. The idea sickens me but I do not dare to say I know how to hate sin as how my Lord hates it. Although, I do want to hate it. I'm still learning that a zealous love for God results in us disliking anything that could threaten our fellowship with Him, leading us to hate sin. Any other way I try to cut it would not be comprehensive enough. This isn't something I know how to do well -- I know how wilful I could be in this matter. But I'm willing to bring this wilfulness into the light. I'm willing to bring this misplaced love for the rot into the light. Right now, in the form of this journal. I've seen and tasted how the Lord is good on countless occasions this year. I heartily desire to be in the right spirit to once again commune with Him. I pray that this would not be empty words any longer. I pray that I'll wholly rely on the Spirit to be more than a conquerer as I continue to stand up and walk further in and further up in our Lord Jesus Christ.