My Journal

My addiction to porn has damaged my life where I find difficult to complete goals and targets; this decreases my self-esteem and damages my confidence, as guilt and shame are the emotions that is most present in life. Porn has impacted my faculties, my lack of concentration is testament especially when I'm trying to read a book, or at work and even exercising. Other negative consequences is after when I fap, I really beat myself up about the amount of hours i wasted to search for the 'right video' to jerk off to. Straight after the event, I start to analyse my life, how fucked up it is, then a onslaught of negative monologue in my head starts to remind me: shit job, hardly any friends, lonely, can't chat to girls. haven't had a serious relationship. weak minded, being called ugly. The cycle repeats itself over and over, because you tell yourself this time I will conquer this habit once and for all- then you relapse, and you are back to square one, trying to figure things out with your dick out and cleaning the mess with Johnson's baby wipes. I had enough, I will conquer this monstrous habit that is controlling me.

I will keep a journal- and I will check it every day- Wish me luck