Yes bro, being aware of ourselfs especially if we are addicted and not knowing what can an addiction do to us, is very dangerous. We keep saying that we are fine, a-okay and this addiction is not ruining our lifes but when you step out of it, abstaining from it, you can see how messed up it ruined you. It's okay to relapse a bunch of times, but let the relapses be a lesson over and over. Devolping self awareness takes time man, it is hard to know when you realize that trigger or urge just blinds you and simply if you follow on it and relapse, you'll feel guilt and regretment. You need to remind yourself so many times to know that if you relapse, you know your gonna feel like sh*t, you know that it's not healthy anymore for you to consume it. I believe that you my friend, will defeat this addiction.