My Journey to Happiness and Peace

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Blondewife, Mar 23, 2015.

  1. DanVT

    DanVT Fapstronaut

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    ROFLMAO

    I imagine him laying in bed, "raising a tent", screaming "It's alive! Muhahaha" or "The Precious came back to me!"
     
  2. Karma

    Karma Guest

    Oh God.

    Congratulations on hitting 180 days Haggis! You and your wife are an inspiration to me.
     
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  3. Blondewife

    Blondewife Fapstronaut

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    He did it!!! 180 whole days without PMO! I am so thrilled of the direction that our life is heading. We had his whole family over for in we last night to show them our new house and it went very well.

    Tomorrow we will celebrate 9 years together. We had a very rough start to our relationship and I mean VERY rough. Things are going so well now and I am so happy to have him by my side.

    We will continue some building when we get home tonight. Haggis is going to make a towel rack/shelf for the master bathroom and I will stain it.

    It's amazing that removing this obstacle out of our life has changed literally everything.

    Stay strong everyone!
     
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  4. Haggis

    Haggis Fapstronaut

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    It has literally changed everything. :)
     
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  5. Blondewife

    Blondewife Fapstronaut

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    Yesterday was not the best- we had a pipe burst and flooded the whole kitchen. Haggis was amazing. He didn't get upset and stayed calm the entire time. He would not have stayed calm if he were still PMOing. I am so proud of him. Me on the other hand, I am not so proud of. I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night and had to be at work early this morning. I was a raging person to him this morning and he did not deserve that AT ALL. He was so sweet too. Ugh, I hate when I'm like this. I apologized and he said he wasn't upset with me- he is a bigger man than me. If he would have treated me the way I treated him, I would not have been as understanding. I have a truly wonderful man. Sorry again Haggis! I'll make it up to you tonight.
     
  6. Jbird22

    Jbird22 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing..helps...I'm in the beginning stages...my husband still denies he has a problem..but other wise, the beginning I can relate to :(
     
  7. Blondewife

    Blondewife Fapstronaut

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    Freaking awesome weekend. Haggis built a table for our bedroom and a bookshelf for my cookbooks. We ate fantastic food and spent quality time together. We had a lot of sex too- no problems there! We are closer than ever.

    Had a pretty girl with a very pretty body come into work today, I didn't even freak out when she walked into his office area! We are both healing and it feels wonderful.

    We have plans to cook a quick dinner tonight and then go outside and stain my bookshelf. I am so happy with where this relationship is heading.

    Short journal because I'm at work and the boss keeps calling me into her office ;) probably more to come.
     
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  8. Blondewife

    Blondewife Fapstronaut

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    I'm feeling a little weird about posting here recently because I am not a recovering PMO addict and that is what this place is for. I will still post today because I think I need to.

    Everything continues to go well with Haggis and me. We had a funeral yesterday and then went out to lunch with his parents. It was really nice. I had an awful dream last night that Haggis got shot and I have not really felt right since I woke up. I woke up at 4:30 AM and wasn't able to go back to sleep. I stayed in bed until 6:15 and then got up and made Haggis breakfast and made his lunch for him to take to work.

    We have a housewarming party tomorrow so I have been cleaning all morning. I am going to prepare dinner before work and we are going to see my grandma after work today.

    I have been bitching a lot lately about Haggis playing his computer game. I feel very weird about him on his computer (STILL) and am hoping that goes away soon. When he plays his game he gets engrossed in it and can go hours without saying a word to me. I brought this up yesterday and I think I offended him because he got really quiet. He enjoys playing video games and I need to be supportive of this. The past couple mornings when I have woken up, he has been on his computer (not this morning). This worries me because the morning was always his weakest for PMOing. We have been having sex almost every day for about a week and a half now and he seems much more confident in bed now so I don't know why I am taking the computer time so personally. This is just another thing I need to work on.

    Thanks for reading. Stay strong everyone.
     
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  9. Hero One

    Hero One Fapstronaut

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    @Blondewife

    Always encouraged by your partnership and dedication to one another! I get married in 5 weeks, and in our pre-marriage course, we spend a lot of time discussing the importance of communication and choosing to dedicate, love and support. It's amazing to see it in action in your situation.

    As for the computer game situation - a friend of mine tried to ban her husband from computer games, which caused a bit of a storm. It's worth exploring the reasons behind it. In this case, she was made to feel like the computer was valued more highly than she was. As though he found more satisfaction from an inanimate object. I guess that's similar to the effect of porn.

    Fortunately, after looking into it, it was revealed to be based on on childhood experiences and the situation was resolved. She found peace with it, but he decided to get rid of his xbox to show her how when compared, she was worth more to him than anything. Good man, that one.

    As always, very inspiring, Blondewife. Thanks for sharing.

    -H1
     
  10. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    You think you need to. And that is all the reason you will ever need to post here.
     
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  11. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    I am feeling the exact same way and am being accused of having ulterior motives for being here. I am definitely feeling hurt since I felt that I provided support :(
     
  12. Haggis

    Haggis Fapstronaut

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    I may be a bit biased towards my darling wife (heh) but there is every damn reason in the world for both of you to be here. You provide much needed input and perspective as an SO of a recovering addict. Never feel like you do not belong, either of you :)
     
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  13. IGY

    IGY Guest

    This is a tremendous peer support site ladies (@Blondewife and @Limeaid et al.).

    Maybe a group or a forum section could be set up for people requiring input from people that have no personal experience of masturbating to porn. Those of us that have a partner may want to hear what you have to say. Others are entitled to their view of you and all of us. So, no need to feel hurt or go on a PMO spree to justify being here. :)
     
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  14. 8BitsOfStuggling

    8BitsOfStuggling Fapstronaut

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    The fact that you are here, posting, shows you care. If you didn't care, you would be posting slanderous things. However, I have seen pretty much nothing but support from you. I appreciate your opinions!

    EDIT: The people who disagree, can get lost. :)
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2015
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  15. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    Thank you everyone. Your support means a lot to me :).
     
    Haggis likes this.
  16. Although I disagree a lot with you but your presence here is very beneficial to the community and you have helped a lot of people here.
     
  17. Blondewife

    Blondewife Fapstronaut

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    I made some comments tonight that I decided to delete. I still feel I have the right to feel the way I do but I will no longer be heiring our dirty laundry on NoFap. I am feeling particularly emotional today and perhaps I over reacted. I think I may start journaling in a diary or something. I do not want to start a shit storm with Haggis as he is the one who needs to be here and needs to talk about his stuff, not me. I am sure everything will be better in the morning.
     
  18. Blondewife

    Blondewife Fapstronaut

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    I don't feel like myself lately. I am not sleeping well- at all. I'm probably averaging 2-4 hours a night of sleep. I wake up every 20-30 minutes and just can't get comfortable. My back is killing me. I was thinking I may be pregnant but am trying not to get my hopes up as I do every month. This month seems different though. I am depressed and have some signs. I'm not due to start my period until the 6th or 7th so I will have to wait to find out. Please pray for us.
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2015
  19. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    I can't believe anyone could even think such a thing, much less say them out loud. You've been one of the best, most supportive people in this group since the day I arrived. The person who suggested otherwise should be ashamed of him/herself and I hope you can find a way to ignore such obvious bullshit and move on. Keep being exactly who you are @Limeaid. Please!
     
  20. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    You should use this forum however you like, Blondwife. Only you can decide how that is. I hope you find a way to process your feelings in a healthy and productive way. @Haggis is a strong guy and he understands where you are coming from. I'm betting he can handle whatever you throw his way, and I doubt he would really want you to censor yourself for his benefit.

    Regardless, I hope you start feeling better soon and that you get the news you are hoping to get. I'm not a praying man, but I will certainly be sending you whatever positive vibes I can muster these days.
     
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