My journey

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by justy218, May 14, 2019.

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  1. justy218

    justy218 Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone! My name is Justin, I'm a 17 year old home schooled guy from NJ. I come from a Christian background and PMO has been an issue in my life for about 4 (?) years now. I've been on NoFap for awhile but after a really bad relapse in January I feel like I haven't been trying as hard, I had been doing amazing, off porn for a bit over 6 months, life was good. But as soon as I thought I had left it all behind me it comes creeping back into my life. So from today onward I'll be starting back at day 1 and posting about my journey everyday, I wanna be held accountable, I wanna overcome this, I don't want porn chaining me down anymore, I don't want porn ruining future relationships. Thank you for reading !
     
  2. drac16

    drac16 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to NoFap, Justin. I hope you find what you're looking for. :D
     
  3. justy218

    justy218 Fapstronaut

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    Day 1:
    Was honestly pretty rough, I was super tempted and had thoughts of "just give in." I kept myself busy though and hung out with friends so I was able to get through it
     
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  4. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

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  5. justy218

    justy218 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you!
     
  6. justy218

    justy218 Fapstronaut

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    Day 2:
    Pretty hard again, I woke up early cause I had a wet dream. I didn't have any thoughts or anything which could've set me off so it's whatever, I'm not gonna let it drag me down, it's something I couldn't control. I kept busy with streaming and going out with some friends and playing games, tonight will be rough but I gotta think long term. I'll get through this
     
  7. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Hey bud , you are going to be great at this. My kid is homeschooled and he has soooo much more focusing power than I did.

    I would encourage you to get an AP immediately and check in as you need. It really helps. No matter the age.

    God bless little bro,
     
    justy218 likes this.
  8. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Hi @justy218 !

    If you haven't already done so, please read the "Getting Started Guide" available on this site's (noFAP) home page. It has answers to a lot of questions you may have as well as a lot of useful information that will help you as you begin (continue) your journey of healing.

    One thing that very frequently happens as journeys get longer (and six months is certainly longer ...) is that we sometimes lose sight of our goals and objectives - the reasons "why I am here". When that happens, motivation weakens and resets and relapses often follow. Its critical to have both a very clear reason why you are here - whatever it is is fine, as long as it something you truly believe in and for which you are willing to work toward - and you need to continually keep your goal and reasons "why I am here" fresh in your mind. It often works well to write down your goals and refer to it at least twice daily, every day, to keep your goals and objectives fresh in your mind.

    Posting in your journal can be very helpful. Do it.
    The best plans are those that you actually put into practice. No plan will work unless you implement it.

    You've made some good decisions in the past - starting noPMO, returning to noPMO after a mis-step, so you know how to make good decisions... Go make some more.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  9. Good thing your starting young. You're only a year older than me. While my journey hasn't been easy, it definitely isn't as hard as what some people talk about. I think that's because I simply wasn't on porn as long as most people on these forums. Good luck bro!
     
  10. justy218

    justy218 Fapstronaut

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    Best of luck to you too bro
     
  11. justy218

    justy218 Fapstronaut

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    Day 3:
    Pretty hard again, idk why, normally after I've relapsed I'd be disgusted and easily just not even consider it for a week. It's different now for some reason though, still pushing through and got a weekend with friends up ahead so I'll be keeping busy!
     
  12. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Hi @justy218 !

    Good. Keep going. Stay strong this weekend.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  13. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Hi @S-Class Rank 7 "King"

    Just a quick note to check in on you. Hope you are continuing to do well. One thing to think about as your journey gets longer: Sometimes when journeys get longer, we lose sight of our goals and objectives, our reasons "why I am here". When that happens, motivation weakens and resets and relapses often follow. While its critical to have clear objectives and goals (seems like you do from looking at your initial post ...), its also critical to keep those goals fresh each day in our mind. What are you doing to keep your goals fresh in your mind each and every day ? Think about what you can do, then do it. Good plans without follow up actions don't get results.

    Stay well.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  14. justy218

    justy218 Fapstronaut

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    Day 4/5:
    Was pretty easy cause I was out at a friends house for the night, no bad thoughts or anything either so we're looking good
     
  15. This is so true!
    This may seem like a crappy answer, but I like seeing my streak get higher and higher. Something about having a beefy number under my belt is fun and motivating.
     
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  16. justy218

    justy218 Fapstronaut

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    Day 6:
    A little hard at first but I kept my goal in mind and kept reminding myself why I was doing this, will keep going strong. Thanks for the kind words everyone!
     
  17. justy218

    justy218 Fapstronaut

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    I'm just gonna keep it blunt but I relapsed, I feel like garbage and lost sight of my goal, I feel like a completely different person whenever I start doing this and it scares me. It feels like I'm trapped in my own body and I'm screaming at myself to stop but I don't. I'm not sure what set me off, I don't know if it was just me being weak but I guess we're back to day 1. I'm gonna work harder than ever, I'm not gonna give up and go back, I want my freedom back :(
     
  18. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    When we lose sight of our goals, motivation weakens and resets and relapses often follow. What can you do to keep reminding yourself of your goals and reasons "why I am here" ?

    Sometimes, writing down your goals and objectives helps clarify thinking. Having written goals also means that you can read them - start with at least twice each day - to help remind you of why you are on this journey.

    Spend a bit of time thinking about this. Upon reflection, the trigger for this relapse may become clear. Even if you don't come to recognize what this trigger was, think about what things DO trigger you. Then develop a multi-stage plan for dealing with triggers. First, work on ways to avoid triggers you know about. For example, if watching a certain type of 'tube video is a trigger, don't watch those types of videos - block the sites, filter your devices, or un-subscribe to that account. Second, think about what you'll do when urges and triggers do strike. In spite of best efforts to avoid know triggers they do crop up. Also, you may be triggered by something you don't even recognize right now as a trigger. Have a plan to deal with urges and temptations BEFORE you are facing them. (If you need suggests, ask.) Waiting until a trigger strikes to begin thinking of how to get past it is too late: the trigger will usually win.

    Think about how you'll keep your goals fresh in your mind and about how you will deal with triggers. Develop plans, them implement your plans; they won't work unless you do them !

    There is no better time to get restarted on your journey of healing than right now, so get going !

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
    justy218 likes this.
  19. justy218

    justy218 Fapstronaut

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    Day 1: 5/22/2019
    Felt a lot better, I wrote down 2 reasons I'm doing what I'm doing and I plan on doing so everyday. It'll be a good way for me to not lose sight of my goal anymore, I plan on reading my bible and making a real effort to grow my relationship with God again, I've been very lazy but I want to learn to desire God. Please pray for me guys, I want to continue going strong from today on!
     
  20. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Good. Make sure to do it, because one thing is certain: if you forget your reason why you are here, motivation will fall and resets and relapses often will follow.

    And with your new-found time (that you would have spent on PMO...) find something else constructive to do. A hobby, reading, practicing music, exercising. Activities that involve others can be very helpful to getting past the isolation that often comes from PMO. Think about what you can do, then go do it .

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     

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