My last hope

The best thing you can do to stop this addiction is to get as much personal accountability as you possibly can. There are guys on this forum that are willing to help out. The website SA.org has meetings in your local area to go to, start your stepwork, get an AP or two, and best of all, get a sponsor that you can call daily and check in with. A lot of people start out here and are kind of looking for a way to have the desire taken away from them. And if that's the case, I'm afraid you're in for a huge disappointment, because unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way. You have to do a LOT of hard work to fight this thing. Otherwise, its like sitting in a sinking ship, hoping that things turn out okay. If you don't work hard against the addiction, it will defeat you, plain and simple. I got addicted to porn 35 years ago and I've been fighting it for about 3 years now. The addiction its still as strong as it ever was, but I'm getting better at fighting it because of my recovery stepwork, and the accountability I have with my AP's and with my sponsor.

Best of luck, friend!

 

Hey Brother, there is hope! You're in the right place. I congratulate you for having the courage to be here. Sometimes it isn't until we hit rock bottom, feeling the shame and guilt, that it leads us to new discoveries and decisions that can change our lives for the better. It's led you to this community, which is the step in the right direction. Acknowledge yourself for that!

I agree with everything Joe said. I've been in my recovery journey for a few months now, and while it's been difficult and I'm not yet where I want to be, I've made incredible progress and my life has changed for the better already in so many great ways. What helped me the most was just not giving up. When I'd get off track, I'd immediately get back on track and re-up my commitment towards recovery. Connecting with others here, being an active member, and utilizing the resources available will all give you that hope and move you in the right direction.

 

Being process driven is better than goal orientated. Meaning if you believe that PMO is bad for you then the success is trying to work towards that. Failure is all part of the process. The key to learning from the relapse is to really and honestly think about why it happened so you know what to expect when that set of circumstances arises in the future. I have been on this journey for 5 years and it is only the last 6 months that I have really started to getting to know myself and why I behave in certain ways. It has been difficult but also incredibly rewarding process.
I strongly advise mindfulness practice to improve your personal observation skills - if we are buried in our sexualised thoughts, we are unable to see them for what they are, which is just thoughts which can cause or have been caused by feelings, which can change behaviour. By being able to observe them, you can say - -"Oh look, my mind is thinking of porn again, I am trying to avoid that at the moment because I want to break my PMO habit so I won't be following that thought even though I know it would give me short term pleasure.I am going to do XYZ instead which is working towards the person I want to be rather than away from it." Compare that to " I want to watch porn, but I shouldn't, but I feel I need to, I am really struggling to change, this is so hard,it wont go away, I need to get rid of this craving, this uncomfortable feeling, just one more time and then I will stop, that will be it, never again, ....oh no, I feel so bad now, I will never be able to stop. "
By accepting the process will be uncomfortable you take away the main power of the addiction. The reason most people use is to get rid of some discomfort whether it be tiredness, anxiety, low mood, hunger, boredom, illness... it could be anything. By accepting the discomfort, you depower the addiction and can address the underlying cause, rather than just use unhelpful avoidance strategies to self sooth.
I know this is all easier said than done. Keep reading and researching, and be clear on why you want to change. What sort of a person do you want to be?