My last hope

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Thefighter1, Apr 5, 2016.

  1. Thefighter1

    Thefighter1 Fapstronaut

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    Im game! I went almost 4 months without it and i just recently fell back into it. I give myself out and i justify it everytime so i dont have to feel the guilt bit in the end i always feel the same way. I feel trapped inside because i want to do it and i dont care about the cost until i get that satisfaction and once i do o regret it. And i am afraid if i continue i can be losing someone i care about. And i care but in that moment i cant pass it up. To be honest i just dod it before i wrote this message because i knew i was goimg to give it up. I regret it because i did have an out but i chose not to take it. I need this so i can get right with myself, the ones a love and most of ally relationship with God. I cant be living in sin but yet i chose to. I need this 30 day challenge so i can end the excuses and gain my life back. And to live the life that He has planned for me. My prayer is for strength, so i can overcome temptation and to be strong enough to fight this battle because i am weak and i know He is strong but its up to me to let Him fight with me and for me not to get in the way because i am my greatest battle. So God please, im begging you to strengthen me to win! To overcome! To glorify you in the name of Jesus Christ! Thank you Lord, Amen
     
  2. kk76

    kk76 Fapstronaut

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    OK let's start slowly

    Welcome on here and hopefully you will find ways that help you.

    Right now it feels like you are stuck. I have been there and it's a terrible place to be.

    There is a way out from this and find the one that works for you. Mine are:

    12step meetings
    Therapy
    Reading
    Meditation
    Prayer
    Journalling
    Contributing on here
    Enjoying my hobbies
    Speaking to people
    Going out for walks
    Blogging
    Writing film reviews
    Planning a film festival
    Working

    and that most of the time keeps me sober from my sexual behaviour. I'm not perfect and get a few weeks and slip and frequently hide it or lie but right now I'm at 32 days and at times I want to do it but when I don't let me tell you I feel fucking immense
     
  3. incredulo

    incredulo Fapstronaut

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    Wow I can see your struggle, being catholic my prayers have been very much like yours. Pick up yourself and go on. Every time I think of our Lord Jesus Christ how he fell carrying his cross.. this is what we are going thru carrying a very very heavy cross the mighty weight of our addiction. Some day my friend we will be able to look back and say how good it is to be with You and I am with You because I chose to give up sin! I gave up P and MO.
     
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  4. incredulo

    incredulo Fapstronaut

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    Very well said. I also feel that being away from my house is a blessing, because when you live by yourself and have plenty of time in your hands, things get pretty dangerous.
     
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  5. Thefighter1

    Thefighter1 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate it! And i need to start being busy more, i have to much free time and ive been lazy so it allows me to fall...Do you have a feeling that you still want to do? I dont know how to describe the feeling exactly but you want to just do it i guess.
     
  6. Thefighter1

    Thefighter1 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate your words. I never looked at this as our cross. And i look forward to that day... and you're right about being out of the house, i try and do that but at times i have nowhere to go, specially at night. What are some of the things you do?
     
  7. RealLifeGamer

    RealLifeGamer Fapstronaut

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  8. kk76

    kk76 Fapstronaut

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    But the end result is that at some point you can be by yourself and not want to do this
     
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  9. kk76

    kk76 Fapstronaut

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    Pretty much every day but I just do not do it. I can't stop that, it's my brain sending my ideas of something to do that it knows in the past has helped me feel better so thus is a process of lovingly retraining
     
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  10. adam1992

    adam1992 Fapstronaut

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    You can do it bro!!
     
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  11. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    Don't be too hard on yourself. Life is all about learning from your mistakes and improving yourself. Being too hard on oneself often backfires. Good luck.
     
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  12. hey man, you will overcome this, if its making you un-happy then you need to take the steps forward to a brighter day, if you relapse or fail along the way dont hate yourself, just stand right back up again, reset and try again, every time you try you will become stronger and you will prevail!
    blessings to you! you will be free because you deserve to be free!
     
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  13. incredulo

    incredulo Fapstronaut

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    I spend time with other people. I have a sister and her daughters and try to be there for hours. I also walk a lot and try to counsel other on this site. I have been reading books and now reading all these testimonies help me a lot. Now I have an AP and we communicate often and when the urge shows up, I get involved in conversations with him or other people who are in a similar situation.
     
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  14. Thefighter1

    Thefighter1 Fapstronaut

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    It makes sense thanls for giving different perspective on it. So another question, i have a high sex drive and right now me and my girlfriend are waiting tell marriage. My fear is that once we do get married and start having sex, i will fall back into it. It always went hand and hand for me. Thoughts?
     
  15. Thefighter1

    Thefighter1 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate it brother, thank you
     
  16. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

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    I went without it for a long time as well.

    This is how I've been looking at it recently:

    Do whatever you can to string together a few clean days. If you can do that, do it again and add on a few more days. It might get more difficult the longer you last, so try new stuff help you. Remember: Whatever it takes. After you string together a week, add on another week, and repeat. Before you know it you'll be gliding on through!

    One day at a time.

    Here's a helpful tip. Break down your relapse. Why do you relapse?

    Here's what I found:
    For me, PMOing is getting my heart rate up, getting very, very excited, rewarding myself, and a way to calm down once you release.

    You can't quit cold turkey and go on with the rest of your life unchanged. I think failure would could very easily. You have to fill the void of the addiction with something positive.

    Here's what I did:
    A healthy and fun way to get my heart rate up is to exercise while listening to my favorite music. Working out is just getting your heart rate up, adding music makes it more fun! Plus, exercising is a good way to sleep better at night. Often the first thing that happens to me when I've gone a week without working out is, I notice the urges are stronger and I have a harder time knocking out at night. You don't need to pay for a gym. I haven't had a problem building muscle with just calisthenics (body weight exercises). Look it up. I'm not massive, but I used to be a twig. Not anymore.

    Another thing I've tried to do is get out more, especially on the weekends. When my friend died last year, I went from a naturally shy person, to a total hermit! Recently I've been spending a lot of time getting into contact with the friends I haven't seen in a while. That's fun, and it's a rush. Especially with girls around.

    So get out there, have fun, workout, and get a good night's rest!
     
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  17. kk76

    kk76 Fapstronaut

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    Are you getting married today?

    If not why are you worrying?
     
  18. IGY

    IGY Guest

    That's good advice @Squeaky Soul, especially so, because you have been there! May I add a note of caution for those reading: Be very selective about the lyrics of the music you work out to. There are a lot of songs nowadays that have sexually explicit lyrics. Avoid these like the plague. Then you can have the full benefit described here ^ :cool:
     
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  19. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

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    Yeah that too. Forgot to mention. Something I'm guilty of, haha
     
  20. Thefighter1

    Thefighter1 Fapstronaut

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    I feel what you're saying,
     

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