My life has been a waste

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Deleted Account, Oct 23, 2020.

  1. Hey guys, I'm a 17 yo guy from india. Lately I've been suffering from heavy depression and loneliness because I feel this deep regret.

    I feel regret about everything I was born with. I have very terrible parents. My parents have physically and mentally abused me a lot in my childhood. My mom suffers from a very bad chronic disease for almost a decade now. My father is really lazy, he is unemployed and doesnt do anything all day. My parents usually keep fighting each other.

    I was born with a health condition called sinusitis. Because of this, I can only breathe through one nostril. I am still suffering from this health problem. To add insult to injury, I started watching porn at 12 and was hooked. I am also addicted to youtube. I would blame this on my parents and education system because they never warned me about porn and social media addiction and never looked after me.

    Throughout my life I have felt this lack of guidance and direction. This is what I'm most regretful about. I'm really sorry but I cant help feel envy towards the people born in countries like sweden, denmark, finland etc. They all seem to be the happiest and kindest souls. And here I am living in the most depressed country of the world.

    I'm sorry but I have no one to share my pain with. So I came here to share my feelings. I would really like if anyone could help me and sympathize with me.

    Thank you
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2020
  2. PeterGrip

    PeterGrip Fapstronaut

    You think you have it bad? It sounds like you're not going to bed hungry. You have a computer with access to the internet. You actually have parents. Even though your father is unemployed, you can stay alive.

    I'm not saying that you don't have problems. Everyone has problems. Your well-being is relative. People in western countries commit suicide too.

    That being said, feel free to blame your surroundings. I understand why you'd wanna do that. Sinusitis sounds like a shitty disease. A father who sits on the couch all day is a shitty role model. But what good is it gonna do?
  3. So what you're trying to say is that my problems dont matter ? If someone is having it worse than me, that doesnt excuse my problems. Because someone is living a worse life than me, doesnt make my problems irrelevant. At the end of the day, my problems still are problems. To me, gratefulness sounds just like an excuse. It doesnt make me feel better. In fact it makes me feel even worse. Gratefulness makes me feel like my problems dont even matter. What you say sounds like only the people who are having it the worst are allowed to share their problems.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2020
  4. PeterGrip

    PeterGrip Fapstronaut

    No, maybe I wasn't clear enough. You are comparing your situation to people in other countries that seem to be better off. It's just my opinion that that is not a healthy way to look at your problems. No matter how good things are for you, you will find things to worry about.

    I think your problems matter. It's good that you talk about them!
  5. Well I guess you are right. I may not have been born into as good of a life as them but I can work towards achieving that lifestyle.
  6. Ok you have a difficult past, problems, results in what is important to you may be less important than others. BUT what are you gonna do about it. past is past. It's not your past or your problems that hurt, it's how you perceive them.

    Everybody has fucking problems. Even the ones you perceive as superior to you. Even those who are successful in life. A life without challenges, without moments where you feel like shit, or you don't know how to deal with all the problems you've accumulated doesn't exist.

    BUT you are alive, you are breathing. What are you going to do now? Are you going to fight, overcome your fears and express the part of you that feels the need to learn, to grow, to love? Or are you going to continue to complain and lament while dreaming of a life that is not yours?

    It's your choice. When I read your message I see a victim. It's up to you to change that.
  7. I was not complaining, I was only telling my life story and the things that have happened to me. Nothing more, nothing less. And dont call me a victim. It makes me feel like shit.
    Henryforward and WanderTruth like this.
  8. I'm probably gonna delete this thread becuz you guys wont really understand what I have to go through. You guys keep comparing me to others and put labels on me such as "victim". I used to think that every human being deserved love and empathy in this world. But now I feel like I'm talking to a bunch of emotionless robots.
    Henryforward and WanderTruth like this.
  9. MisterDoe

    MisterDoe Fapstronaut

    Sorry to hear that. If things are true. Your life is very difficult. For what it's worth I offer my sympathy. Living such a hard life one possible advantage that you have over people who born in more developed countries is having a higher emotional pain tolerance. Which will come in handy when trying to achieve academic/work success.
  10. Thank you very much Misterdoe. I really have nobody at home whom I can openly express my feelings to. So I came to the internet. Things have been pretty hard lately. And I've been trying my best to get my act together. I genuinely hope you're doing well. Thanks again.
    Henryforward and WanderTruth like this.
  11. MisterDoe

    MisterDoe Fapstronaut

    Now looking at your life, here’s what I think about it.

    It's a very good thing you decided to join this forum, and talk about your problems. That shows your willingness to solve it.

    Regarding your feeling of regret. What is regret?
    Regret is the emotion of wishing one had made a different decision in the past because the consequences of the decision were unfavorable.

    You shouldn’t feel regret for things that are out of your control. That would be your parents and the country you have been born in. It is what it is. It's not your fault.

    Porn and addiction to youtube as a teenager. That's an extremely common thing around the world. So don’t feel bad about it. A lot of people have or had this problem.

    Anyways my advice would be to try to fix one problem at a time. Also if you are interested you can post in my journal anytime about your progress, or problems. I would be interested in hearing about them.
  12. SickSicko

    SickSicko Fapstronaut

    Let me get this straight to you, your problems, as unbereable as they may seem to be now, they will look like nothing in the future, so learn from your problems, move forward, use your suffering as fuel to achieve a better lifestyle, focus in one thing, then another one, but KEEP MOVING FORWARD, bigger stones than the ones you mention will come in your way, I can guarantee you that, but the results of all the bitter work are always worth it.

    And let me get another thing straight for you alright, don't blame your parents or society for your decisions, and then get triggered when someone call you a victim, you are the one getting into the victimhood mindset saying that, your decisions, your problems, alright, some stuff is out of your control, like what parents do you have, but porn? youtube? that's on you, don't blame anyone but you, take responsability and work towards changing it.

    Life won't warn you, it will kick your face and see if you have the guts the stand back up or if you stay in the floor sobbing...that's the way it is...

    Trust me, people in those countries they also have problems, maybe different problems, but they still have problems, envy won't take you anywhere, admiration, and hardwork will.

    I can relate to the kind of pain you express, although my circunstances were slightly different... what I've just told you is what I learnt since I was your age and suffering just like that till the present day.

    You are young, you are aware of what makes you suffer, now is time to work in slowly but surely change it.

    Wich doesn't mean is going to be easy, but you can.
  13. I was just a 12 year old innocent child. I only discovered the world of porn simply because I was curious to see what girls look like from inside. It was just a basic human curiosity. At that age, nobody told me that watching porn was a very bad thing to do. If I was guided by my parents or my school and was told that porn is a drug and I should stay away from it then I would've never become an addict.

    Its the parents's job to show their child the right path to living a happy life. And my parents failed me. But I cant do anything about it now. Its history.
  14. Thank you so so so so much for your help. And you are correct, I should not feel regret for things I cant control. And yeah I am currently working towards my porn addiction. Last month I was 40 days fap free and it felt so amazing. Yeah you're right, I should work at one problem at a time. I'm probably gonna come up with a plan now. And thank you sooo much for offering your thread, but I think I will make my own. I hope you also achieve your goals. Thanks and good luck !
    Henryforward and MisterDoe like this.
  15. SickSicko

    SickSicko Fapstronaut

    Whenever the time comes to be a parent, you will know, this is what I mean by learning from your suffering, you take this bad experience, and learn a lesson, such as parents should show their child the right path, that's the lesson learnt from your bad decision, you didn't know better, curiosity can lead to bad things the same as to good things, you do know better now, that's the important thing, blaming your parents will get you nowhere.
    Henryforward and Deleted Account like this.
  16. GhostRider@11

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

    Saying that challenges faced by a person of developing nation and that of a developed nation are almost same, is somewhat like saying that chances of a person becoming a astronaut from a African village and that of a person from a rich family are the same. Now I know this difference is too much, but I compared these two to just show you that there is a difference, People of developed nations do encounter challenges but you can't compare them with his challenges. I live in India, and I know what he is talking about. And he is absolutely correct in this sense.
    I don't say that he should sit and cry for this thing, he should face the challenges because there is no other option but everyone should understand even if he is doing 10X the work than you, but because of his surroundings he can still be less paid than you. If son of a president wants to become health minister, it is not a big deal for him, still you may say that he do have his own challenges but you cannot compare them with challenges of a person from a poor background who is dreaming the same thing.

    There is no doubt that people who are born in developed nations are naturally in advantage than those who are born in developing or under developed nations.
    But, I would love to hear the success story of that poor person who becomes health minister than that of the son of president because struggle is what makes a story inspiring, How far have you reached from your initial(starting) position matters the most.
    Comparing yourself with your past only, not with anyone else, thinking that your competition is with only yourself won't work in India, because here being good is not enough, here you need to be the best to get the same things that others take for granted. Here, each year 1.2 million students compete each other for 10,000 seats in colleges. And out of those 10,000 also, there is a strict competition for job. Government is corrupted, it only wants to suck each and every drop of our blood. And even if we think of starting our own business or start ups, first of all conditions are not favorable, government policies sucks, and if in worst case if a person starts a business, he will have to face competition from all those Chinese and American companies, which is like a fight between a army of million trained soldiers and a single untrained person.
    If you loose it's not completely your fault, but that doesn't mean that you should stop trying, do your best. Go for it, you deserve a better life.
  17. bdn94

    bdn94 Fapstronaut

    Dude, you're still so young, you're not even 18 yet, now's the perfect time to turn your life around.
    Henryforward and CArT_Vader like this.
  18. Wow man those are some real facts you've just posted. You definitely understand my situation better than anyone on this thread. It isnt really anything to be proud of being born in this country. We can only move on to achieve our dreams. It is what it is I guess....I should probably work towards a more meaningful and better life. Thanks for the post I really really appreciated it. This would give others some idea of what I'm going through. I hope you're doing great too. Good luck friend.
  19. SickSicko

    SickSicko Fapstronaut

    I understand what you say, that's why in those cases the top 1 priority, in my opinion, would be to leave the country...

    I mean I left Spain that is probably more well of in terms of what you just exposed, but still was shiet, tier 3 country in my view, India is Tier 4... Now I'm in UK, what I consider a Tier 2 country, and would like to eventually move to any of the ones I consider Tier 1 countries as soon as I'm able to...

    Because as you said, a better playground helps a lot to win in the match of life.
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2020
  20. Achiever80

    Achiever80 Fapstronaut

    Wow I am disgusted by lots of the people in this thread. First of all - don't call him a victim. That's a pretty dick thing to say. I am pretty sure the forum rules say this is a supporting community. The fact that the first few people basically said 'your problems are not as important' is disgusting. Also if you have depression, I would say that's a pretty serious problem.

    You are 17 and you have a lot of time left! Just spend it right and you can live an amazing life! As kids we shouldn't say our life is a waste because it isn't! We haven't even lived to adulthood yet. Here is some advice: stop fapping, do good in school, work hard, stay fit, etc. Also (most importantly) be kind to others. That is the best thing you can do as a person. If you are kind to others you are already an amazing person with a purpose. Hope this helps.

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