My life is ruined.

Gtfo bad advice

 

Are the symptoms better now?

 

@saneagain I think your problem is more psychological and part of your wrong and too negative thinking. You are too sure that you cannot learn and memorize things and that is very detrimental for you. You must be confident, ambitious, eager to win, like you used to be. You have to revive old good version of yourself when you used to be the best and when otherd were stunned because of your knowledge. You must not give in in those negative feelings. You must go beyond them, defeat them, push through them. If you are constantly thinking that you cannot do anything good then that will become the truth, but if your confidence will rise then also your results will. I know that because from my personal experience. 2 days ago I had a very bad low self-esteem and was very unconfident. I was sure that I'm incapable for everything I did. But then I cchanged my way if thinking into positive one. I eliminated the stress and I started to believe in myself. I decided not to give in my bad feelings and stress. I decided to start living and not looking for excuses and started looking for reasons that sonething good can be done. Because no matter in what situation you are in right now. It's about how you percieve that situation. It's about perception. Stress is just a thought in your mind that holds you back from being happy. You must not fall in that trap. You must change. For your sake and the sake for your family. For our sake. Peace brother and good luck.

 

Here's my whole life...

Age 4 - anxiety about potential death of loved ones
Age 5 - started MO, became addicted as an escape
Age 6 - developed severe depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, digestion issues, and migraines.
Age 14 - Found P mags, hit flatline a few days after PMOing. Developed ED without P extremely fast. Insomnia begins.
Age 16 - developed DE and ED with P, also anhedonia
Age 18 - begin feeling like I'm going to choke while eating
Age 19 - severe insomnia, 0 feeling in genitals, hard flaccid, complete anhedonia in life, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts and wanting to die, migraines with nausea and throwing up during/ after school almost every day. Left college because I couldn't physically do it anymore and my memory was/is just awful.
Age 26, current - I quit P about 4 years ago. I'm a lot better mentally but the physical symptoms are still there, only improved(it's not mental, whatever that even means...) I relapsed to MO quite a few times over the last 4 years, mainly because of fear. I thought if I did a legitimate reboot and didn't get better I would kill myself. I'm over that thinking now, though. I've finally developed the courage to see whether I get better or not, because living like this isn't living.


The conclusion I've come to about my (our) problems is that it most likely started as a nutritional deficiency, and instead of recognizing that something was wrong, we MOed excessively and it damaged our autonomic nervous systems. I read recently that magnesium deficiency can cause a lot of these problems https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16542786/ I'm going to try magnesium supplements soon.

 

Don't self diagnose. See a doctor.

 

A lot of doctors are complete morons.

 

One of thing that concerns on this site is an aversion to seeking outside help. There are morons in any profession (when you finish medical school and residency tell me it's easy). Many people I see on here have underlying issues of anxiety, depression, etc that can be dealt with in constructive ways often without medication. I also sense a very anti-science and intellectual bias on this site as well. Many times if people deal with their major underlyimg issue/s it can make dealing with others much easier. The pull myself up by the boot strap approach does not work for people. Being rational matters in all areas of life matters.

 

To the O.P., have you ever been evaluated by a younger board-certified psychiatrist who would have a better grasp of PMO?

Do you live in an area where N.D.'s practice and could get an evaluation by a Doctor of Natropathic Medicine? Sometimes they have a very different way of seeing an illness.

I pray for you that the symptoms, which I believe are real, do go away with time away from P. But in the mean time you may want to stay away from any M-O too.

The dopamine & other neurotramsmiters in our brains are VERY powerfull. Some more than others.

Also, I would suggest staying away from ALL caffine and alcohol. They are not good for the brain's recovery either.

 

The problem with doctors is that they often treat symptoms and not the root cause. The system is set up this way because it is extremely profitable.

 

I haven't had symptoms as bad as yours, but my recovery has been pretty slow. It took me around 4 years just to get some of my energy back, for example. I think I still have fetishes, even though I haven't been MOing to fetish material.

You probly won't like the advice I'll give you. I think it's just going to take you a long time to heal. It's going to suck. If you fight through it to the end, you will achieve a life worth living, but you'll have some regret over missing out. The anticipation of future regret can be worse than the actual regret.

Also, I've noticed that my improvements tend to happen all at once. I get upset because I'm not seeing gradual improvements, but then every year or two something changes.

You need to see the heroism in what you're doing. It can be hard for me to do it, but it helps you stay strong. I don't think positive thinking will solve everything, though.

If you are able to talk to more or better doctors, then do so. Exhaust all of your medical options. As someone else said, science and Western medicine are your best bets. Try to eliminate the possibility that something else is going on.

 

I have clinical depression and my psychiatric medication has caused severe ED. My sex drive is great and even my erections are rock hard they just don't last very long. I go from rock hard to flaccid in like seconds. I figured a reboot might help. I'm over two 2 weeks minus porn and don't even care. The lack of MO is killing me! I'm over 2 weeks even though my journal only says like 13-14 days. I'm not in a relationship now either so I am outlet free to say the least. I have a good friend who is a sex therapist and when I told her I was considering this she said I know you can handle it and you picked the right time but the research on it is scarce as to its effectiveness. I love sex. I love women. I love their smell their soft skin and touch. Nothing in the world calms a man more than the scent of a beautiful women next to him in bed. I want to please my partner too. I chose this path because I value and want to experience the sexual side of myself in its full dimension.

 

I'm on my first year without pmo.I was an addict for 6-7 years.Water fasting helped and still helps me a lot.I water fast minimum 1 day/week.With time, your body gets used to it.I once fasted for 21 days, and a few times for 2-6 days.It really helps.

 

All of this is an illusion and you are falling for it

 

Ditto ? ...

 

Saneagain; not sure if you saw my post further up, but you have symptoms of a magnesium deficiency.

 

I like your reply. I feel like I have been an empath my whole life, I always felt sensitive to the energies around me especially of other people. It is draining man, sometimes I wonder is am I one of the few empaths or is everyone and empath just some people hide it and only think of themselves. Whatever the case atm I just feel it's draining, I feel everyones emotion when I am talking to them it sucks, like why do I have to absorb their crap, why am I so sensitive to all the crappy energy in the world. it's really annoying especially when I feel tired.

What tips would you highly recommend to stop absorbing other peoples energy?

I just want to emit my own energy out into the Universe, not just absorbing everyone else and trying to help them. I can't help everyone, hell I can't even help myself, so what really is the use of feeling other peoples energy other than being say a doctor, psychologist, energy healer those sort of professions..

 

I get itchy and scratchy just even talking to some peopel on the phone.. truth is they usualy are depleated peopel feeding off our energy.. One spiritual advisor told me that when i start to feel their toxic energy is to just say "Isolate" as if telling my energy body to isolate and pull itself in from their's. Another thing is to visualize painting your 3rd eye between your eye brows light blue. This will de-sensitize your phycic ability. But over all its about detatching from sad or depleated people. You can ask god to bless and help them, thus not using your own energy.