My life story and a momentum of victory

I quit porn on the 7th of November 2018. So today, I think I am on my 51st day without porn. I really want to improve my life and put an end to the confusion and all the weird problems I have always experienced.

I started to watch porn when I was 12... At that time, I also had an "affair" with my girl cousin, which almost degenerated to sex.
The weird thing about me is that I have never had a girl friend although I am 26. This made me feel very shameful... I have always suffered from social anxiety and I was bullied at school and high school.

Unfortunately, I also got involved in wrong spiritual practices, which made me open to different "energies". So, on top of having to face withdrawal symptoms from porn I have also to face all these energies, which is confusing and scary.

I can say that porn and masturbation played a big part in ruining my life. Although I was born as an intelligent person, I had problems at school, it was difficult to focus, to learn new skills. I cannot do normal things that most people do like taking the bus, the plane or learning new things. I find it difficult to make friends.

On the 20th of September 2018 I also quit smoking.

What I can say any more? I want to become a part of this community and inspire people with my strength and example.

And don't forget guys. Nothing in this world is for free. There is a hidden reason why porn is everywhere and easy to access.

Today, like many other days, I craved for porn. Fortunately, my will is strong enough not to relapse. Believe, this world is a though place and it's worth quiting porn. There are worse things than our addiction to porn. Anytime something challenging may happen and it's worth being prepared by being free of any addiction.

 

I forgot to tell you how it feels to be on a long time without porn. This craving that I still have to watch porn although I have not done it for the last 51 days while I did masturbate from time to time has it's origin in curiosity.
Yes, the biggest trigger for me is curiosity. Porn has so much to offer: new horny women everywhere, you can explore the reality of sex (I am still a virgin) , I really like to see those naked whores.

However, this, like any other addiction messes up our brain by a supra-dose of dopamine. I believe that porn is evil exactly because it seems to give you so much while it takes you much more. It's subtle. It seems harmless but it destroys brains and personalities. And the horrible truth is that it's everywhere. It was easier to quit smoking because I had to buy cigarettes. However, I have a solution for porn. You can install programs on your computer to block any porn website.

So, yes, curiosity is the biggest trigger. The desire to see something new.

 

I have no problem with sharing my spiritual "problems". But I am still not sure if this is the proper place to do so. It can be weird for others...
Thank you for your comment! Yes, I have managed to do it, 51 days without porn and I don't plan to relapse. (Quitting smoking was much easier anyway).

The problem with porn is that it affects you at a "spirit" level. For example, smoking affects only the body.

I was very surprised to see all these" recovery from porn" addiction websites. I have always thought that there is something harmful and weird about porn and masturbation but years ago I couldn't find all this info.

I am so surprised to see so many people like me suffering from this problem. Only now do people really start to understand how harmful is pornography.

I am very excited about this community! And I enjoyed reading all those websites revealing the dangers of porn!