My life's a mess, I don't know what to do.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Oct 9, 2020.

  1. I'm such an idiot.. I dropped acid last night and I wasn't ready for it at all and had a horrible trip and my dick shrunk and started hurting and I ended up testing it because I was worried and I relapsed. Now I'm just laying in my bed thinking what do I do man. I'm such a mess, I don't function and I just feel like I'm mentally and physically broken. I can't work, I can't even go out for groceries because my anxiety is so bad. I feel like I'll never get better and like I've permanently damaged myself. I really wish I had some people in my life. I think I should tell my family everything but I'm so embarrassed. Jesus I just want to cry.
     
  2. eric9000k

    eric9000k Fapstronaut

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    I have made this connection between other things going wrong that just culminate in relapse, it's difficult because you can't just 'quit pmo' as an isolated thing in your life it's an entire life change like most you would also require good diet, good exercise, good sleep, not too much alcohol, access to sex, all that stuff because otherwise it's like dot matrix (very slow).

    Yeah I know how fickle hallucinogens can be and you might think it's a cure-all neuro-reset for your brain and go into it expecting a profound experience and then just be careful what you wish for because next thing you look in a mirror by mistake and see yourself age 10 years as many old things resurface that you may have never had the guts to take face on.
     
    Maurice00 likes this.
  3. Yeah if one thing it has made me realise that I need to get everything under control, not just my addictions. It's difficult because I think to myself "Once I reboot it's gonna be all over, I'm gonna be who I need to be." but the truth is that PMO was just the gate to Mordor and now I actually have to enter and face all these demons. With every relapse I'm stripping more bad habits from my life and adding new, constructive ones. It's been good and I've learnt a lot about myself and about life so far but I need to always be watchful to not rationalise myself into another destructive coping mechanism, you feel me? Anyways I saw this video about a guy who jumped out of a burning airplane with his body on fire and he lived to tell the tale, surely we can do this.
     
  4. Agent

    Agent Fapstronaut

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    Man im sorry to hear what you going through rn, but i believe the best thing you should do is try your best to stay away from drugs, they are not gonna let you escape this addiction and that is for sure.

    If you need anything you can PM me here, stay strong bro
     
    Maurice00 likes this.
  5. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    Maybe not. Maybe PMO is all you need to fix. Who knows?
     
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  6. It's the main foundation, I don't see myself having a stable life with PMO in it and I don't want it anymore, I just get really sad when I think about porn.
     
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  7. BeGoodDoGood

    BeGoodDoGood Fapstronaut

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    sometimes we need outside professional help as well. make sure you try using all the tools in the toolbox(therapist, medications, nofap, 12 steps) and see what works for you and stick to it. we need to figure out things that work for us in this addiction and stick to it.lack of clarity, confusion, relying just on willpower won't get you anywhere.
     
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  8. eric9000k

    eric9000k Fapstronaut

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    It is very unlikely "pmo is the only thing you need to fix" but it's possible especially if you're under 18. Even a 80% probability from if you are 18-24. Beyond that, the probability would decay rapidly, it would become increasingly likely that there are a good many baddies lurking in mordor not just shagrat.
     
    Maurice00 likes this.

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