My Maze

While trying to quit porn, masturbation and sexting addiction i observed that there were a lot of fears in my emotional system like OCD tendencies,perfectionist tendencies,fear of failing,fear of darkness,compulsions,butt i wasn't accepting them...so a fight began inside of me where i would try to avoid these tendencies at the one moment and try to accept them at the other moment and then fight these tendencies which drained me a lot emotionally.Now after observing my thought patterns a lot i can see that these fears and compulsions actually form a maze that i have myself magnificently created in order to avoid the feelings that i want to suppress.I also began to remember that at the age of 15,i wanted to forget everything..i mean everything including the good things in my life so that i would not feel some of the difficult emotions but now I feel i am getting aware about them and i will succeed inshallah.

 

More regarding this maze i have formed...i found that even these days i try to unconsciously forget things so as to avoid feeling the suppressed emotions...also whatever i study i can't recall it after a week or so.

 

Thanks man for letting me know about ACT therapy.I am reading about it and i find it useful.I googled and found that the most popular book on ACT therapy on internet is by Russ harris but it is written for health professionals who provide ACT therapy services.Can u suggest me some good books which i can use myself?