My miserable life (at least a good part of it is)

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Orangeraie, May 7, 2018.

  1. Orangeraie

    Orangeraie Fapstronaut

    Sorry for my poor english (I'm not a native speaker).

    No friends, no lover, no human relationship, in short, don't be enough to be with my congeneric. Be alone = I'm not human anymore.

    When everyone refuse to keep my company, how I can consider myself as a human being? It's not possible.

    Certainly, from a biological point of view i'm human and then? I can touch my skin, I exist. I think so I am. Good, I affirm my existence… But it's only the “I” that say not others, not the reality.

    Continually, I affirm my existence but I have no feedbacks. I don't exist for others, they don't recognize me as their equal : i'm not a human being.

    However, I want to be a human being. At times, I want to shout at their faces “I exist”. In the worst case, I want to break their little world by splatting it with blood. Creazy idea, they did'nt ask for it.

    Mundane, loneliness is heavy even if I fight againt.

    From september 2016 to september 2017, I didn't speak to anyone apart from my family ( In fact, except one or two times triviality with acquaintance but nothing more). The worst, at that time, I began to become insane.

    Since september, I restart university, I speak with only one classmate. And he's not very outgoing…

    Nevertheless, I don't hate people. Speaking with someone who is a boring and ugly, it's the last that a person want. You will say I exaggerate, no ?

    Ha! some people think i'm smart (i'm not) even if I failed my studies.

    Regarding love… At 22, i've never kissed a girl. Even, since high schools, girls outnumber boys in my school time, no girl have been interested in me.

    I'm ugly, short (1m68, 5'5), very skinny (55kg, 121') even if I did some “gym”. I look like a 12 years old girl. I've got acne (i'm under treatment). And I don't tell you about the thing under my belt.

    I'm really repulsive so no need to try. People made fun of me in the street. Some tried to take a photo of me (don't take a picture using flash when you trying to be invisible), etc.

    Despite all these things, I appreciate life (thanks Rousseau and Epicurus). Most of the time, i'm ok but these thoughts come back regularly.

    I know I will be forveralone, never found love or even a girlfriend to settle. This thread is not useful but I had to write it.
    MasterGamer and hated like this.
  2. Karimtolstoi

    Karimtolstoi Fapstronaut

    Hello dude,
    We are all here to help each other. You can talk to me we could be good friends.
    Looking forward to hearing from you.
  3. MasterGamer

    MasterGamer Fapstronaut

    Hey man, i actually understand you and i am going through the same situation than you. Please Message me in private if you want to talk, have a good day bro : )
  4. jukebbox

    jukebbox Fapstronaut

    Hey dude i have some bitter experiences just like the ones you wrote. Feel free to message me and talk.

Share This Page