My mother blew my mind

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Overforme, Sep 5, 2019.

  1. Overforme

    Overforme Fapstronaut

    So we were having dinner and she mentioned how her friend split from her husband because he was.. get this... a porn addict. She said to me "can you believe that? How disgusting is he?"
    I just looked wide eyed and said "wow."
    She has no idea I was shocked as hell and felt like an absolute disgusting pervert in that very moment. On my way back home from her house I sat and thought about how much of a loser my mom would think I am if she knew I too, am considered a porn addict. I walked in my house and just cried and realized I'm sicker than I thought. I came to the realization that every relationship I've ever had has failed because of porn. I was never caught in all 3 of my serious relationships, but because I needed more than all my partners could give, I never was fully committed to any of them. I blame porn for this 100%. Today I realized that if my own mother truly knew who I was.. shed be absolutely ashamed of me. This makes me feel pretty shitty. I need to get this disgusting garbage removed from my life.
    DragonAwper, Exadict, Enwar and 3 others like this.
  2. Odiebear

    Odiebear Fapstronaut

    Things to consider:
    Just because your mom whipped out a pretty harsh opinion about someone when she doesnt have all the facts about someone's problems, doesnt mean you should take it all in and feel guilty about it.

    She doesnt know all of the facts about that guys issues and she doesnt know all the facts about yours and you cant compare yourself to that other guy. Were all here fighting a different battle.
    Your mom also doesnt seem to be very open to accepting what addiction is; a medical problem. Its easy to talk about someone behind their backs and call them junkies for being addicted to heroin, when they are actually struggling with addiction issues. Same goes for you, not in the same context but the fact that your mom shamed that person may mean she doesnt fully understand the issues that we all face. We are all fighting a battle. Its easy to say were diagusting for being addicted to PMO from a distance but once it actually affects your life you look at it differently.
    Make your own mind on who you are. Make your own mind on who you want to be. There are a lot of people who dont understand what were going through, dont hate yourself because you think your mom might hate you.
  3. Robinthehood

    Robinthehood Fapstronaut

    Your mum's opinion is basically what society is brought up to believe in, even though I bet most people have watched some porn. And she was probably backing up her friend. What you felt is a good thing, sounds like it's a driving force in your fight to give up porn, your mother's respect is of course important.
    That shame you felt though I don't think will help you. It will make you feel more of a 'disgusting pervert ', not constructive. You need to own those choices you made to watch porn, even though you feel it cost you a few relationships. Don't judge yourself by how you imagine your mother would judge you for doing what you did. The trap of porn addiction and any other is the cultivation of shame around it, making the sufferer believe he is beyond the help of others because he can't talk about it. He suffers alone and this is a prison sentence.

    Could you ever come clean with your mum about it? If you could tell her and she forgave you, maybe you could forgive yourself.
  4. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

    Not trying to be rude towards your mother, but it's so obvious she has absolutely no clue what she's talking about. She obviously doesn't understand a thing about how addiction works. So please, do not take your mothers ignorant view of addiction as the absolute truth. Being a porn addict (or any addict for that matter) doesn't make you a bad person. You're not disgusting because of it. Shame doesn't help in the least.
  5. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    If this helps motivate you some then use it. I do think when you really consider what masturbating to porn is that we should be disgusted by it. At the same time remember that if any of us knew the whole truth about anyone else we’d be disgusted. Everyone has secrets. At the very least they have secret thoughts they don’t want others to know.

    I think others make a great point about being careful not to go to far with using this disgust. The behavior may be bad. It may be disgusting. But the people aren’t disgusting. Their behavior is. So have some sympathy for people who get into porn, including yourself. You/they have made some bad choices and gotten into a bad spot. But no one gets out of a bad spot by thinking himself to be an incurable degenerate. You get out of a bad spot by seeing your inherent dignity and realizing out of love for yourself you should do what is good for you.
  6. Overforme

    Overforme Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the help guys. I'm feeling better.
    Odiebear and Robinthehood like this.

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